Fallen out with daughter’s ex-friend’s mother. Need a wider opinion.
283
Foodie321 · 03/12/2021 08:02
My 14 year old daughter was friends with a girl from primary school until they fell out earlier this year. I’m relieved as she was of the same age and getting drunk, engaging in risky sexual behaviour ruling her parents whilst trying to do the same with my daughter. The friend had given my daughter a coat last year that not longer fit her or even that she wanted so my daughter accepted. Now over 6 months later the family want the coat back. Personally I don’t have a problem with handing the coat back but we had paid £100 pounds for a concert ticket that they refused to hand over to us and instead took another friend. I have therefore asked for the £100 in return for the coat. The mother is refusing by saying that they took my daughter on holiday and that they will keep the £100 as a contribution. They had asked if my daughter could go on holiday to Wales for a week with them so we reluctantly accepted knowing that it wasn’t anywhere like Aya Napa! Friend’s mother mentioned they would do water sports so I placed £100 in an envelope as a contribution towards water sports, however they did not accept the money at the time and told my daughter to keep the money. No water sports were done and the week’s holiday was cut short by 3 days due to the friend’s demands to come home. I’m now a full-time student at university, they are not short of a bob or two but I appreciate that it isn’t the point. I’m just upset that they think they can rob me know months later and decide what money goes to whom as it suits them. It feels like they are taking revenge on us for ending the friendship. Should I forget about the money and just return the coat???
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
gamerchick · 03/12/2021 08:15
Court action over a coat?
I'd let them me just for the amusement and counterclaim for the money if you have proof.
Tell them in writing that you'll return the coat when they've returned the money. Keep all communication in writing from here on in.
IamnotSethRogan · 03/12/2021 08:17
Just give the cost back and be done with it! I don't know why you're dragging this out. Yes they sound ridiculous but for the sake of this coat you can be done with them
Derbee · 03/12/2021 08:19
Wait until it’s raining/snowing heavily and they’re out. Drop the coat off on their doorstep. Let them deal with the claggy mess of a wet coat. Maybe with a stain or a rip somewhere unfortunate. Or a muddy footprint once it’s been left on the ground
Luredbyapomegranate · 03/12/2021 08:20
Yes, just return the bloody coat and move on.
The whole situation sounds massively dysfunctional - it’s not worth your time, and it would be good to teach your daughter how to move on from nonsense like this.
YourenutsmiLord · 03/12/2021 08:21
FGS make sure coat is unmarked or they'll be demanding dry cleaning costs - CFs
Jibberjabberhutt · 03/12/2021 08:22
Ignore the threat of legal action, it’s absolute guff. She wouldn’t bother. And if she did, you’d have a very good argument.
But just give her the coat back and then block her entirely from your life. What a load of teenage spite and drama.
ElleEmDee · 03/12/2021 08:23
Sew a prawn shell into the lining then give it back.
nimbuscloud · 03/12/2021 08:25
Is your 14 year old privy to all the drama about the coat?
WeAreTheHeroes · 03/12/2021 08:25
Give the coat back and cut all ties. Make sure it's clean and you take a date stamped video before you do. If possible, although you won't want to, give it back in person and have the mother confirm she's happy with it.
HireStarter · 03/12/2021 08:26
Keep the coat. They won't take you to court and even if they did, they would lose. It was a gift.
Ignore them from now on.
Foodie321 · 03/12/2021 08:27
It all started through her when the ex-friend contacted her.
ClaudiaJ1 · 03/12/2021 08:28
DON'T return the coat. Donate it to an op shop, and tell the mother you donated it. Let her find the shop and buy it back. That way she will spend a (little) bit of money getting back, and doing good for charity.
MeredithGreyishblue · 03/12/2021 08:29
Nobody is taking court action over a kid's coat. Judge Rinder has taken the Jeremy Kyle slot in some people's minds, hasn't he?
NeilBuchananisBanksy · 03/12/2021 08:39
Don't give the coat back- that's just giving into her bullying you.
Block and ignore.
fargo123 · 03/12/2021 08:42
I think I'd be telling them you'll take THEM to court for the 100 pounds. You'd probably have a reasonable case, seeing as they took money for goods/services that they didn't provide.
HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 03/12/2021 08:50
Personally I’d return the coat and be done with the teenage drama.
However I’d also text, your threatening court action over a coat you gifted and requesting it be returned some 6 months later 
gsaoej · 03/12/2021 08:50
Give the coat back
Forget the money
No further contact
Live your life without idiots who threaten court action over ridiculousness.
Ellen888 · 03/12/2021 08:52
This is galling but not worth the hassle.
Send the coat back by recorded delivery and forget about the money.
It is worth £100 to rid your life of toxic people.
Block, delete, flush and move on.
Velvetbee · 03/12/2021 08:53
Keep the coat.
Though I do love the idea of sewing a prawn into the lining.
Eddielzzard · 03/12/2021 08:56
Court action 
I'd block her. What a shit show. She gave you the coat. It was a gift. She stole your money. She fucked up your DD"s holiday. You're both well out of that friendship.
Pottedpalm · 03/12/2021 08:57
Has anyone ever done the whole ‘retaliation by prawn’ thing?
Would the prawn not just dry up?
Asking for a friend..😄
Obsidiansphere · 03/12/2021 08:59
I’d send it back just to get rid of the fuckers! Pathetic twats 
ANameChangeAgain · 03/12/2021 09:04
I suppose whatever you do, remember your daughter has to go to school with this girl probably for the next 2 years, so as much as we would love to be petty with people our age, don't let your daughter get dragged into any nonsense between the mums. Also, remember girls can be worst enemies one minute and best friends the next.
Alsoden · 03/12/2021 09:04
What @DreamerSeven said
SunflowersInTheShade · 03/12/2021 09:05
Consider the £100 payment for getting them out of your life.
The coat - I would return it except it sets a precedent - do you have anything else that she may then ask for?
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