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Fallen out with daughter’s ex-friend’s mother. Need a wider opinion.
283

Foodie321 · 03/12/2021 08:02

My 14 year old daughter was friends with a girl from primary school until they fell out earlier this year. I’m relieved as she was of the same age and getting drunk, engaging in risky sexual behaviour ruling her parents whilst trying to do the same with my daughter. The friend had given my daughter a coat last year that not longer fit her or even that she wanted so my daughter accepted. Now over 6 months later the family want the coat back. Personally I don’t have a problem with handing the coat back but we had paid £100 pounds for a concert ticket that they refused to hand over to us and instead took another friend. I have therefore asked for the £100 in return for the coat. The mother is refusing by saying that they took my daughter on holiday and that they will keep the £100 as a contribution. They had asked if my daughter could go on holiday to Wales for a week with them so we reluctantly accepted knowing that it wasn’t anywhere like Aya Napa! Friend’s mother mentioned they would do water sports so I placed £100 in an envelope as a contribution towards water sports, however they did not accept the money at the time and told my daughter to keep the money. No water sports were done and the week’s holiday was cut short by 3 days due to the friend’s demands to come home. I’m now a full-time student at university, they are not short of a bob or two but I appreciate that it isn’t the point. I’m just upset that they think they can rob me know months later and decide what money goes to whom as it suits them. It feels like they are taking revenge on us for ending the friendship. Should I forget about the money and just return the coat???

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

Maisymoomoo22 · 05/12/2021 13:54

I’m sorry you’ve decided to return the coat. I’m another who would keep it and donate it to a charity.
I’d mention to her when you give it back that she wouldn’t have had a leg to stand on seeing as it was a gift and she may have even ended up paying all the court costs.

In fact I think I’d call her bluff for a while and say game on. Then when things died down as a result of her coming to her senses with the fear of having to pay court costs if she was to lose, and only then would i return it.

Take back the control of this ridiculous situation and don’t let that brat of an x friend call the shots!

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glowbabe · 05/12/2021 13:55

Get judge Rinder in .

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Georgeskitchen · 05/12/2021 18:37

I agree, just leave the coat by their front door. I doubt they would win a court case on the basis of she said/he said etc.
They sound like unpleasant people who you are well rid of

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Lindylindyloo · 06/12/2021 10:29

Wasn't sure which one was the unreasonable vote - I'm with the poster who said give the coat back and make clear not to contact daughter again - and cut ties.

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ikeptgoing · 06/12/2021 19:50

I think you are taking sensible high ground
Giving them back the gift they made of coat (that your DD hasn't worn anyway)

Cos there's being right, and there's having a link to toxic people who are being ridiculous

She owes your £100 though for tickets you paid for, so maybe think about whether you put in small claims online for that

Or cut your losses and think £100 is cheap to be rid

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DreamTheMoors · 09/12/2021 02:10

What coat?

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HangingDitch · 09/12/2021 08:12

Return the coat, forget the money, and never have to deal with them and this nonsense drama again. Put it down to experience and forget about it.

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LadyEloise1 · 11/12/2021 15:15

What have you definitely decided on @Foodie321 ?

I really like Michelle Obamas premise of "When they go low, we go high."
But it's hard to do.
Especially when there is a £100 ticket involved.

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