Threads

See more results

Topics

Usernames

Mumsnet Logo
Please
or
to access all these features

Fallen out with daughter’s ex-friend’s mother. Need a wider opinion.
283

Foodie321 · 03/12/2021 08:02

My 14 year old daughter was friends with a girl from primary school until they fell out earlier this year. I’m relieved as she was of the same age and getting drunk, engaging in risky sexual behaviour ruling her parents whilst trying to do the same with my daughter. The friend had given my daughter a coat last year that not longer fit her or even that she wanted so my daughter accepted. Now over 6 months later the family want the coat back. Personally I don’t have a problem with handing the coat back but we had paid £100 pounds for a concert ticket that they refused to hand over to us and instead took another friend. I have therefore asked for the £100 in return for the coat. The mother is refusing by saying that they took my daughter on holiday and that they will keep the £100 as a contribution. They had asked if my daughter could go on holiday to Wales for a week with them so we reluctantly accepted knowing that it wasn’t anywhere like Aya Napa! Friend’s mother mentioned they would do water sports so I placed £100 in an envelope as a contribution towards water sports, however they did not accept the money at the time and told my daughter to keep the money. No water sports were done and the week’s holiday was cut short by 3 days due to the friend’s demands to come home. I’m now a full-time student at university, they are not short of a bob or two but I appreciate that it isn’t the point. I’m just upset that they think they can rob me know months later and decide what money goes to whom as it suits them. It feels like they are taking revenge on us for ending the friendship. Should I forget about the money and just return the coat???

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

TooMuchPaper · 03/12/2021 09:06

I think you have an opportunity to show your daughter how to act with dignity and restraint. Return the coat and don't badmouth the other girl or her mother.

Please
or
to access all these features

SpiderinaWingMirror · 03/12/2021 09:08

I would take all round photos of the coat and post it with proof of postage.
And then move on.
Don't try and argue with crazy and thank any deity of your choice that they are no longer in your child's life.

Please
or
to access all these features

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/12/2021 09:10

YANBU
But I would return it. They sound like a bunch of bullies. Your dd really doesn’t need the stress when she’s going into her exam years. Girls really ramp up the viciousness at this age from my experience and your dd does not need that kicking off at school.

I would respond in writing. ‘We will return the coat your daughter gave us as per your request.’ Return. Then block.

Please
or
to access all these features

Totalwasteofpaper · 03/12/2021 09:11

@StillIncredulous

Yes.
And be free of them, without giving them anything to moan about.
Live your life well.

This

Give the coat back and release yourself from the drama
Please
or
to access all these features

MrsFoxyplease · 03/12/2021 09:13

Send the coat back.
I'd personally take pictures of the coat ( they'll probably pretend it's damaged and try and get you to buy a new one).
Send it by recorded delivery too so you don't have to see them and they can't say you haven't given them it.
Forget about the money and be glad your dd is not friends with the girl.

Please
or
to access all these features

Onehotmess · 03/12/2021 09:13

Is it a priceless antique coat?! Just give it back, block their numbers and move on!

Please
or
to access all these features

RockinHorseShit · 03/12/2021 09:14

Amazed at the number of posters who would just roll over & give the coat backConfused. No surprise there's so many CFers in this world when people do that & they get away with it.


Bizarrely I had a similar thing happen over a soured friendship demanding a coat back she'd given me at least 10 years earlier

Ignore & block, the friendship is dead in the water anyway, so you've nothing to lose but self respect

Please
or
to access all these features

TheElusivePotato · 03/12/2021 09:15

Just give them the coat back and be done with it.

But I don’t understand the £100. Was it for the water sports or the concert ticket?

Please
or
to access all these features

MOTU · 03/12/2021 09:17

@fargo123

I think I'd be telling them you'll take THEM to court for the 100 pounds. You'd probably have a reasonable case, seeing as they took money for goods/services that they didn't provide.

exactly this, you have a case (if you were of a mind to do it) they definitely dont, they sound like arseholes, no wonder their child is a brat - you're well rid
Please
or
to access all these features

TheElusivePotato · 03/12/2021 09:18

Oh sorry I see now that they first refused the £100 for water sports but then you paid them for a ticket you didn’t get and they are now claiming that was for the holiday? Yeah. CF. You’d be well rid.

Please
or
to access all these features

Bagamoyo1 · 03/12/2021 09:19

@ClaudiaJ1

DON'T return the coat. Donate it to an op shop, and tell the mother you donated it. Let her find the shop and buy it back. That way she will spend a (little) bit of money getting back, and doing good for charity.

What’s an op shop?
Please
or
to access all these features

sashagabadon · 03/12/2021 09:20

Agree return the coat and forget about it all

Please
or
to access all these features

Subbaxeo · 03/12/2021 09:21

The coat and money is a small price to be paid to be rid of them tbh. They sound very hard work!

Please
or
to access all these features

tallduckandhandsome · 03/12/2021 09:21

Don’t give the oat back. Stand firm on getting £100 back.

Please
or
to access all these features

Foodie321 · 03/12/2021 09:22

We paid £100 for the concert ticket which we never saw. She refused to give us either the ticket or money back and instead took a friend to the concert. The concert was a couple of days ago. I had also put £100 in an envelope in the summer as a contribution towards water sports but the girls didn’t do any and they told my daughter they could keep the money. She is refusing to return £100 for the concert ticket now quoting that it will be used for the contribution towards the holiday as I had offered at the time.

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Bywayofanupdate · 03/12/2021 09:22

Just return the coat for your peace of mind. But no court would pick up a case about a coat dispute. What a numpty she is!

Please
or
to access all these features

DDivaStar · 03/12/2021 09:22

They sound a nightmare and it would get my back up to. But its just not worth the headspace, just give them thd coat and hopefully you'll have little to do with then anymore.

Please
or
to access all these features

Electriq · 03/12/2021 09:24

Oh daughter left coat on the bus yesterday, sorry 🤫🤐

Please
or
to access all these features

Thatsplentyjack · 03/12/2021 09:24

I wouldn't give the coat back, then It looks like you think they are in the right. Tell th to crack on and try and take it to court, and if it gets there (which it obviously won't because its laughable to even suggest it over a coat) tell them you will counter claim for the concert ticket.

Please
or
to access all these features

Foodie321 · 03/12/2021 09:24

Thank you all for your replies. Most are saying to return the coat. It is dysfunctional and toxic, I agree. That’s why I posted as it doesn’t sit well with me, but at the same time I hate to be a walkover!

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

peboh · 03/12/2021 09:25

Honestly I'd just give the coat back for an easier life. Give it back, block and keep them out of your lives. It's all very Jerry springer over the falling out of two children.

Please
or
to access all these features

bowlingalleyblues · 03/12/2021 09:25

I would give the coat to a charity shop that would benefit a children’s charity. And tell them it had been donated.

Please
or
to access all these features

AdobeWanKenobi · 03/12/2021 09:28

@Bagamoyo1

What’s an op shop?

It's a charity shop. I believe it's an Australian phrase.

Please
or
to access all these features

Kippersfortea · 03/12/2021 09:28

Give them back the coat
Let go of the money issue. £100 is a small price to pay for peace

Please
or
to access all these features

ThinWomansBrain · 03/12/2021 09:30

Return the coat

do you know anyone with a child who has headlice or a dog with fleas to give them a nice additional surprise inside the coat?

Please
or
to access all these features
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.