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Fallen out with daughter’s ex-friend’s mother. Need a wider opinion.
283

Foodie321 · 03/12/2021 08:02

My 14 year old daughter was friends with a girl from primary school until they fell out earlier this year. I’m relieved as she was of the same age and getting drunk, engaging in risky sexual behaviour ruling her parents whilst trying to do the same with my daughter. The friend had given my daughter a coat last year that not longer fit her or even that she wanted so my daughter accepted. Now over 6 months later the family want the coat back. Personally I don’t have a problem with handing the coat back but we had paid £100 pounds for a concert ticket that they refused to hand over to us and instead took another friend. I have therefore asked for the £100 in return for the coat. The mother is refusing by saying that they took my daughter on holiday and that they will keep the £100 as a contribution. They had asked if my daughter could go on holiday to Wales for a week with them so we reluctantly accepted knowing that it wasn’t anywhere like Aya Napa! Friend’s mother mentioned they would do water sports so I placed £100 in an envelope as a contribution towards water sports, however they did not accept the money at the time and told my daughter to keep the money. No water sports were done and the week’s holiday was cut short by 3 days due to the friend’s demands to come home. I’m now a full-time student at university, they are not short of a bob or two but I appreciate that it isn’t the point. I’m just upset that they think they can rob me know months later and decide what money goes to whom as it suits them. It feels like they are taking revenge on us for ending the friendship. Should I forget about the money and just return the coat???

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

tallduckandhandsome · 04/12/2021 11:35

If it’s a Primark or George one I’d maybe consider wiping the floors with it and then giving it back.

If it’s a Ralph Lauren, keep it as compensation for concert tickets.

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tallduckandhandsome · 04/12/2021 11:36

@HumourReplacementTherapy

Oh god not a bloody chance I'd return it! Make some good out of a toxic situation and give it to charity. I'd even make sure I took it one who notifies you how much it sold for then forward the notification & tell the toxic mother what a good deed she'd done Grin

Wow, which ones do that?
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CrazyTimesAreOccurring · 04/12/2021 15:20

@HumourReplacementTherapy I have never heard of this! Which company does it?

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WomanStanleyWoman · 04/12/2021 16:00

If it’s a Primark or George one I’d maybe consider wiping the floors with it and then giving it back.

Not just the floors…

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Livelovebehappy · 04/12/2021 16:27

No way would they get a result in their favour if it went to Court. But I would just throw it in a carrier bag, drop it on their doorstep, along with a note to ask that they do not contact you again.

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Aderyn21 · 04/12/2021 17:18

You're going to post it back and pay for recorded delivery?
This is how cheeky fuckers get away with cheeky fuckery!
Sorry OP but you are definitely in walkover territory

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AnnieSnap · 04/12/2021 17:29

They are behaving badly, but just give the coat back as it’s all becoming a bit childish on both sides now!

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Theunamedcat · 04/12/2021 17:53

Perhaps one message giving the tracking number with the phrase your need is clearly greater than mine and block

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naturallyred · 04/12/2021 17:57

I would photos of the coat before returning it, the mother sounds the sort to accuse you of damaging it.

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ThePix · 04/12/2021 18:03

Sorry but I would sew dried fish into the lining and then send it back.

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SchadenfreudePersonified · 04/12/2021 18:06

@RepentBirthingPersonFucker

Yanbu but I would give the coat back and be free of the drama

This.

They could take you to court - it would probably cost them more than the price of the coat and they'd lose (a gift is a gift, one child's word against another's, you've had it a year etc). You could also countersue for the £100 for the ticket.

But honestly - is it wirth the hassle?

I would be tempted to do something to the coat, though - pee in the pockets or summat Grin Do you have an incontinent cat?
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BlueYazoo · 04/12/2021 18:09

Honestly I’d cut the sleeves off first!

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Onebabygirl · 04/12/2021 18:10

I like that saying from a pp above - do you want to be right or do you want to be happy. You are absolutely in the right op but this is just not worth the headspace - you can’t reason or argue with stupid people. I’d give the coat back and say to the mother that she obviously needs the money more than you do, and then cut all ties. Keep your head high and teach your dd a valuable lesson.

Fallen out with daughter’s ex-friend’s mother. Need a wider opinion.
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Fluffmum · 04/12/2021 18:16

It would cost them more than 100 quid to go to court! Just give the coat back and cut all ties

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Liekje · 04/12/2021 18:18

What is she going to court with ? A jacket they gave to your daughter? I mean there’s not much there. I absolutely hate people who give things and then ask for it back!

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NataliaSerene · 04/12/2021 18:19

I now think I’d give the coat back with a note that says,
“£100 and a used coat; a small price which we gladly pay to finish with you. Please enjoy wearing a coat you gave as a gift and spending money that you’ve stolen. Do not contact either of us again.”

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godmum56 · 04/12/2021 18:20

@Foodie321

Well I’ve decided to send the damn coat back, take photos and send it recorded delivery in a couple of days time. Not without telling her exactly what I think in a message and then I will block all contact. My daughter hasn’t worn the coat or caused any provocation. I will explain to my daughter that we’re not walkovers but that we’re going to be the better people here and move on, also for my daughter’s safety in case she bumps into these toxic people again.

I think that's very sensible. As I said before with a batshit mother and daughter AND local, I would be more worried about safety than going to court
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Riv · 04/12/2021 18:21

@Theunamedcat

Perhaps one message giving the tracking number with the phrase your need is clearly greater than mine and block

This is perfect. Show you are the adult no mater how wrong and petty they are.
Return the coat to their doorstep with just this message. No other comments and block them going forward.
Anything else plays into their drama and could just prolong their childish game.
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EyesAsGreenAsAFreshPickledToad · 04/12/2021 18:25

They want to take you to court over a coat? 😂 The judge will tell the clowns to fuck off (maybe not in those words)

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DagenhamRoundhouse · 04/12/2021 18:31

As Terry Thomas would have said: "What an absloot shower!"

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DagenhamRoundhouse · 04/12/2021 18:33

@ThePix

Sorry but I would sew dried fish into the lining and then send it back.

Sardines in the hem!
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Celestine70 · 04/12/2021 18:33

The coat was a gift. She is out of order and doesn't have a leg to stand on. I would consider giving the coat to a charity shop. Cheeky cow.

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THEDEACON · 04/12/2021 18:34

Speaking as a former court clerk she would be laughed out of court in fact it wouldn'teven get there !

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Bunnyfuller · 04/12/2021 18:37

This sounds so Judge Judy 🙈🙈🙈🙈

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Hawkins001 · 04/12/2021 18:41

You could always call their bluff and see if they see it though

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