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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to be absolutely furious at friend

567 replies

JustLyra · 02/12/2021 00:37

Four of us in a friend group.

We all do nice birthday presents for each other, and have done for 10+ years.

One of the group is having a tough time and is in the middle of moving house so we decide to do a small gift and a voucher so that it’s easier with our move.
Two of us also made clear we felt a voucher was a better option atm because friend is going to have to lot a house from top to bottom rather unexpectedly the other agreed. They offered to take the money and sort the voucher and a nice card.

They then decided, without any discussion, that there was “too big a risk” our friend would buy practical and boring stuff and not treat themselves.

So they’ve bought a fucking Costa Coffee voucher. Basically so they can only buy coffees and cakes.

Aibu to think that that’s completely out of order, and a shit present

OP posts:
AgentDavid · 05/12/2021 21:03

I'm betting the Costa buying friend has now "taken the initiative and sold the voucher to a friend already" so that

  1. she can't be called up on saying she wouldn't spend £80 on Costa and
  2. she doesn't have to produce the receipt which proves she paid £65 and pocketed £15
3luckystars · 05/12/2021 21:20

I’d love to know her reaction to this. I’m glad you and your friend have taken her on and are not letting her away with it!!!

3luckystars · 05/12/2021 21:20

Good on you.

Original poster
JustLyra · 05/12/2021 21:27

We haven't heard anything back yet.

OP posts:
SunLovingMummy · 05/12/2021 22:25

Oh my. I hope she realises your and your other friend’s point of view. She’s not actually out anything if she brings voucher and receipt for your MIL to purchase voucher from her.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 06/12/2021 09:14

Not talking to you and other friend first is the issue. Is she maybe short of cash herself and did this to pocket a bit for herself?

whynotwhatknot · 06/12/2021 15:40

Has she still not replied?

why is she so intent on giving this voucher to your friend

Beautiful3 · 06/12/2021 16:19

How.strange that she hasn't replied yet? All she had to do, is hand it over with the receipt!

OverByYer · 06/12/2021 18:16

its all looking a bit murky now.

TheOccupier · 07/12/2021 06:55

@JustLyra

We haven't heard anything back yet.
Did your friend reply @JustLyra? Maybe she's still at Costa trying to drink 30 coffees...
AbsolutelyFuckinFabulousDarlin · 07/12/2021 08:51

The fact that she hasn't replied would make me suspicious about how much she actually paid for it and whether she did get the offer on it

BruceAndNosh · 07/12/2021 09:00

When is the gift due to be presented to Birthday Girl?

billy1966 · 07/12/2021 09:02

Murky indeed.

ChimChimeny · 07/12/2021 12:19

@AbsolutelyFuckinFabulousDarlin

The fact that she hasn't replied would make me suspicious about how much she actually paid for it and whether she did get the offer on it
Definitely something shady going on
LookItsMeAgain · 07/12/2021 13:04

I'd contact her one more time and give her a cut off time that she has to reply or by the lack of her reply, you will take it that she has decided to keep the £80 Costa voucher and you will be expecting the money you paid towards it to be returned and here are the necessary bank details to transfer the money.

Time to start playing hardball here!

Original poster
JustLyra · 08/12/2021 13:44

She has replied saying she’ll sort the right voucher. She’s very upset and meant well with the treat angle, but says she can see now she went way wrong,

I’m not 100% sure what to make of it all tbh, but birthday friend is getting the right gift so that’s the main thing.

OP posts:
TheOccupier · 08/12/2021 14:04

Phew! Maybe suggest she treats herself to a Costa if she needs cheering up Grin

AngelonTopoftheTree · 08/12/2021 14:08

Glad she's getting the original voucher, sounds like she just completely mis-stepped. If she's otherwise a good, sensible friend I'd let it slide.

Blondeshavemorefun · 08/12/2021 16:09

@JustLyra

She has replied saying she’ll sort the right voucher. She’s very upset and meant well with the treat angle, but says she can see now she went way wrong,

I’m not 100% sure what to make of it all tbh, but birthday friend is getting the right gift so that’s the main thing.

But didn’t take you up on mil offer

So therefore she did t go and buy an £80 voucher

WeAreTheHeroes · 08/12/2021 16:38

Yes, that's what I was thinking.

Original poster
JustLyra · 08/12/2021 17:01

@Blondeshavemorefun I’m trying not to be too suspicious, but I’m very surprised she hasn’t taken MIL’s offer

OP posts:
billy1966 · 08/12/2021 17:55

Very murky indeed!

BronwenFrideswide · 08/12/2021 18:02

[quote JustLyra]@Blondeshavemorefun I’m trying not to be too suspicious, but I’m very surprised she hasn’t taken MIL’s offer[/quote]
Does sound a bit suspicious, I don't imagine you'll ever get to the whole truth of what went on. I am pleased that your other friend is now getting the gift you all originally agreed on.

Cynical me is wondering if Costa Gift friend had been gifted/won the voucher and thought they'd pass it on.

Glad it now seems sorted, pity something so simple ended up like this.

LizzieW1969 · 08/12/2021 18:14

If she is genuinely as upset as she’s coming across to you (you know your friend, we don’t), then it’s possible that she’s decided to fork out for the new voucher at her own expense. She knows she messed up and her friends are angry about it, so she may well be afraid of losing the friendship.

Either way, if she produces the voucher that you agreed on, the ins and outs don’t really matter. If she’s a good friend otherwise, then personally I would move on from this now.

Blondeshavemorefun · 08/12/2021 18:15

[quote JustLyra]@Blondeshavemorefun I’m trying not to be too suspicious, but I’m very surprised she hasn’t taken MIL’s offer[/quote]
Hmmmmmm