To wonder how much it is usual ro.give your adult daugher fot her birthday.?

[Mondaymindy]

Id just like to guage this...
My dm has just sent me a gift card for £15.
Ive been giving this amount to dc of friends .. but for my own dc b day ( young adult) I

would allocate about £100 to £ 150 so that she could be assured to get something she would enjoy amd invest in and treat herself. Eg speakers.
Have I been getting rhis wrong ? Unless i was struggling, which my dm is most defintley not,i wouldnt send £ 15 to an adult close relative. ..
My family have hinted that i am over spendy at times ? Thoughts please..

So your mum sent you £15, but you would give your own daughter £150?

Does your mum not have the budget for a larger amount? You sound dissatisfied.

Once I had my own children my parents stopped giving me anything for my birthday.

I give my adult children £30 on their birthdays

You give what you like. And the recipient says thank you, nicely.

Ps family ties, love, value of another person, shouldn't be linked to a monetary amount.

I'm not sure what is normal but I get £100-150 from my DM and I'm 35. I'm an only child and my DM is quite well off though.

Maybe it will help give context but I expect you will get a wide range of answers, so it is better just to go with what feels right for you and what you can afford.

I give my adult dc £150 for birthdays and Christmas. After a recent tax rebate, I gave them a few hundred each as a pre Christmas sweetener.

I know I am generous though.

So you're a grown adult complaining that you're mother isn't giving you; what you deem; enough money on your birthday?

I get about £30 spent on me and DP gets the same. We spend much more on our kids but I expect that will reduce when they get all grown up.

I give my adult dc £120. However, 2022 will be the last year I give so much as I retire this year and after that won't have the money to be so generous. I anticipate being able to afford £50 each after I retire.

I dont know. I know some people who give little of monetary value but they are very generous with other things such as time and support, they wouldn't get me a birthday present but they would offer to help me paint my living room for example. So I think it depends on the wider context. It does seem an over reaction to start a thread about it unless there is a back story and you are already upset about other stuff...

Also how much do you give her on her birthday?

Mine get £100 plus something wrapped up

It would never occur to me to mind if my mum spent a fiver! I have four dc that she buys presents for and she helps me out, I don’t really equate presents with love.

I have a friend whose parents give her £500 Christmas and birthdays but aren’t especially great in other ways. They are also irresponsible with money and never have any.

What do you spend on your mum? I’d spend £20-30 unless it was a big birthday.

I think norms vary in families. DH’s family aren’t bothered about birthdays but all club together and get something big for their parents’ wedding anniversary. I don’t even know when my parents’ anniversary was.

I've only ever been given more than £100 on big birthdays, I usually get about£50.

I would say that is low if she's not on a low income or struggling, yes. Just ensure you spend the same on her birthdays moving forward.

I'm 42, one of 3, various grandkids, and like you my mum spends about £150 on us at birthdays and Christmas.

My parents (divorced) have always given us £25 for birthdays. Dh's parents rarely give him anything, maybe a book or token gift. I spend much more on my dc but my parents/pil do lots for us in other ways and, even though they could afford it, I don't expect or want any more.

You get what you're given. Adjust what you give her accordingly if you wish.

Some people are big on gift giving and some are not.
That would be a standard birthday gift for me from my DM.
You'll get a multitude of different responses. There is no normal.

My mum hasn't given me money since I was a kid, nor does she send me a Christmas or birthday gift.

If I visit at Christmas she will give me a gift but she doesn't post one.

Why would she give me money???? She sends a card so that I know i am remembered and loved.

I am 57 and my parents give me about £200 for birthday and Christmas and my DH and kids in their 20s £150 for birthday and Christmas. This is of course relative to their income and they send the money as they live abroad.

I get a card from my DM for my birthday.

She reasons that I earn my own money and can buy things for myself as I want/need them.

We also don’t exchange Christmas presents but that’s at my request. To be absolutely honest, not having to figure out what to get other adults, spend money and wrap it, is more of a gift than anything they could possibly buy me.

My mum would spend about 30 to 40 on me, i feel that's about right.

My mum spends about £20 on me, which I wouldn't mind what so ever IF she didn't moan constantly when she hasn't had enough spent on her, if you ask what she wants it's usually something around the £75 mark. My other 2 sisters(also adults) tend to get about £60ish each, me and my brother are always slightly shortchanged for some reason 😅

My mum gives me something random she found in the sale at M&S, January bday. Wrong size sports bra was the best. Tried to take it back but it was worth £1 so gave it to charity instead.

My parents used to give me about £50 worth of presents. I thought that was a lot so I am surprised at people saying £150-£200.