To wonder how much it is usual ro.give your adult daugher fot her birthday.?

[Mondaymindy]

Id just like to guage this...
My dm has just sent me a gift card for £15.
Ive been giving this amount to dc of friends .. but for my own dc b day ( young adult) I

would allocate about £100 to £ 150 so that she could be assured to get something she would enjoy amd invest in and treat herself. Eg speakers.
Have I been getting rhis wrong ? Unless i was struggling, which my dm is most defintley not,i wouldnt send £ 15 to an adult close relative. ..
My family have hinted that i am over spendy at times ? Thoughts please..

About £100. They are quite well off though. A thoughtful bought but inexpensive present I can understand. £15 gift voucher is what I’d give to the kids friends when they were invited to a birthday party at about 10 yrs old.

I used to get £20 , the Grandchildren used to get something strange found on special offer .

This is always interesting. My DM budgeted £20 per DC and DGC for birthdays and Christmas although could most definitely afford more.
I have a friend who spends about £600-800 per DC and DGC for Christmas and birthday and another who could afford to spend more just give her DGC a book each but would consider paying for activities et swimming lessons for her DGC.

We all have differing budgets and opinions on this.

@Biker47

So you're a grown adult complaining that you're mother isn't giving you; what you deem; enough money on your birthday?

Exactly

@Biker47

So you're a grown adult complaining that you're mother isn't giving you; what you deem; enough money on your birthday?

Yep, that seems about the shape of it.

My mum spends about £50 on my Christmas and birthdays, except my 40th when she paid for us both to go on a spa day. She does however spend more on the grandchildren. £50 for birthdays and £100 for Christmas which I think is very generous. It would never occur to me to care how much she spent.

I get nothing.
I hate the way money is used a a value of love

I’m mid 40’s.
DM has been putting £20 in a card for us for a couple of decades. Kids & grandkids get the same.

DC gets around £150 spent on him by us.

If you're the parent of a young adult, you must be 40-50ish? In my family, birthdays become a token present once you're an adult. Birthdays are only really seen as 'important' for children. Once you hit 21 it's "Welcome to adulthood and presents around £10-15."

"My family have hinted that i am over spendy at times ? Thoughts please.."
Sounds like the rest of your family are like mine. Birthdays are important in childhood but not in adulthood.

I wonder if your real question is - am I equating 'what is spent' with 'how much does the present-giver love me?' Maybe you need to have a ponder on that, because I would say the two have no bearing on each other, but I suspect you think differently on that.

We give all three of our adult DC £100 for birthdays. We give the same to their partners.

Ditto for Christmas.

You can give whatever you like but shouldn't feel aggrieved about what anyone chooses to give to you.

My DM chooses to give me nothing. I choose to give her a gift. I know I won't get anything in return but that's the way I roll

My DF always gave me £50. My DM usually gave me £10. I buy my DS some bits to open and some cash to do something so probably about £100 and parties up to the age of 19.

My dad was very comfortably off. He used to give everyone £10 for Christmas and birthdays. We just accepted it. His money, his choice.

My parents usual buy me something I want like a new coat or boots, they let me choose but they buy and wrap them usually around £100 plus a few bits and bobs, perfume, candle sort of things.

Like inheritances I think this can be a bit of an emotional landmine as children can perceive the amount as directly relative to their worth to their parents.

In my family of origin cards and gifts were weaponised. If you were obedient and 'in' you got nice gifts and cards. If you were 'out' your birthday might be overlooked altogether. My DM went out of her way for her favourites but would issue a cheque if she was displeased.

There is no right or wrong amount, it's all relative to income, but the intention is key.

Depends on the age and life-stage of the adult doesn't it! So if your adult DC are just starting to make their way in life, maybe in a low paid job, renting etc then if you can afford it, it's reasonable to give them a similar value present to what you would have done as a teen living at home .

Somewhere along the line, that adult earns more, buys a home of their own and has DC. I would not expect their parent to be giving anything like the same value present . In that case I would expect the parent / adult DC to spend similar amounts on each other . And presumably the parent is also buying presents for grandchildren, and possibly no longer earning.

Im an adult woman in my 30’s. For my birthday, my parents normally give me between £30-£50 in cash or a present for around that amount. They normally ask me if there’s anything I want. Same for Christmas. I’ve always been grateful for that amount and would never expect more.

I'm 32 with one baby, my mum is far poorer than me and usually gets a token gift that she's put a lot of thought into.
She's a great and enthusiastic babysitter and dotes on my son, I couldn't care less if she spent nothing on my birthday!

I've never thought to judge my parents by their financial contribution. I'd rather a genuine hug and good advice.
Whatever rocks your boat.

£20-30 usually but we have a cap on spending as my dad has many grandkids. He gave me £100 for 40th though

My parents have never given me money or a gift card for Xmas-they’d buy me presents. About £40/£50?

I spend more on my adult children probably.

I get something like a jumper or a skirt for my birthday from my parents. So I guess that could be anything around £50-£80.

My parents are very, very generous with their money and their time, all of the time though, we just don't really "do" cash gifts for birthdays and Christmas.

I've got a friend who got really pissed off one year as her parents usually sent her a £400 cheque and that year had sent her less (like heaven forfend £300 or something), but otherwise they were pretty shit parents so I guess that was part of why she felt the way she did although it felt grabby and odd for a 30 something adult.

Well how much does your Mum usually give you?
Is this a sudden change?

My parents give me/DH zero for Christmas and birthdays but my children (11 & 15 in two weeks) get £30 each for birthdays and £75 Christmas. My sister gets the same in cash for her Christmas/birthday from them, she has no children. I buy for them at Christmas, around £50-80 value.

At least she sent you money, my mum for my birthday gave me a perfume (not branded) a candle (again not branded) and a box of chocolates all must have cost £15/20