Suddenly feel like a crap parent.

[Ceecee30]

I did not get them a toy advent calendar like many people have posted on Facebook. They have chocolate ones. They seem happy with that but what if their friends have the toy ones and they realise they don't?

We have an elf on the shelf but he isn't half as adventurous as some. He often just sits on the shelf so climbs on the lampshade. we didn't buy one of the fancy balloons people bought to welcome him back.

We don't have matching Christmas pjs.

I don't plan to do Christmas Eve boxes.

I haven't booked a Santa experience, a winter wonderland or any other things.

We do have our decs up. We have been out looking at neighbours lights the last few nights. Dd did see Santa at a winter fayre but it was a quick whip in and out grotto. We've been to look in the local garden centre which is amazing at Christmas.

They've got a fair amount of presents each on Christmas Day itself but is all the extra leading up to it essential?

Please tell I'm not the only one who doesn't do everything everyone else is doing?!

Social media is the devil. Making me feel like we don't do much in comparison.

Don't feel like a bad parent - my DS1 was super happy this morning getting to eat a tiny chocolate before breakfast!

I also don't have an elf. DS1 is in year 1 but has never mentioned them so hopefully they are not popular at his school.

Don't worry about it you're fine x

DO NOT feel bad. I know people who are doing SO much stuff. Reindeer farm, breakfast with Santa, dinner with Santa, multiple trees in the house, expensive light walk through evenings, elves in balloons, 5 advent calendars, several pairs of pjs, 1st December boxes, Xmas eve boxes, Xmas bedding. Some of these people have skinted themselves to do this and are panicking - one of my colleagues went out on her lunch in a mad panic because she needed 1st December pjs for the whole family and some ‘more’ Xmas decs for her kids rooms for them to put up, and ended up spending £70 in asda just on her lunch hour! Another is pissed off that her MIL only transferred her a tenner to get her three an advent calendar off her, she wanted to get them a ‘decent’ one - lego or some other toy one. They already apparently have two Choc ones and a hot wheels one!

This year has been absolutely crazy with the things you can buy. If you don’t want to do it there’s nothing wrong with that. School do festive things, usually so do hobbies (festive sessions at brownies or dancing or football for example), going to the garden center and choosing a small ornament is lovely. Kids need time spending with them not another houseful of stuff .

Noone needs Christmas pjs.

Comparison is the thief of joy!

I don’t do any of that stuff either. Not keen on the complete commercialisation of Christmas (from an environmental rather than religious point of view).

My kids are happy, healthy and well adjusted having never had an elf on the shelf, lego advent calendar or Christmas Eve box. They’ve also never been to a Santa Experience.

You’re doing a great job OP

I never let my kids have chocolate advent calendars. They eat loads of chocolate otherwise and i'm not a practising Christian so there is no good reason for it other than I don't like the idea of it. It has become a running joke with my 12 year old (that she doesn't find funny). I'm a great Mum in many, many ways, just not that one!!

Comparison is the thief of joy!

You DO NOT have to do those things! You are not a bad parent.

We don’t do any of that stuff either. Christmas is still magical for my little ones and we still have a lovely December and fantastic Christmas.

It’s great if you’re one of these people who does all that stuff but it’s also totally fine if you’re not.

No elf, no toy advent,no matching pjs, no Xmas eve box here, our Dec's aren't even up yet . Kids are 1 and 5, we have our own traditions (santa pancakes for breakfast Xmas morning, breakfast with santa at the local pub Xmas eve morning, garden centre visits, local walks to see the lights)

I've told my son that families do different things at Xmas and some have elves come to visit but we don't (I hate the idea of them checking you're not being naughty and reporting to santa)

People are not really doing these things for their children; they are doing them for themselves and their own self-image. It's a sad truth that pictures for social media is the prime reason for things like matching family pyjamas 🤮 and stacks of gifts that almost eclipse the Christmas tree (which has, of course, been up since mid-November).

Don't get me started on that bloody elf... a Christmas tradition, my fat white arse

Definitely no elf here - I think they're awful for the same reason as @QforCucumber, no matching family pyjamas, one upcoming Christmas event and the toy advent calendar. I think all the things that you can do are options and you pick and choose what suits you in a given year, if anything at all.

I don't know how people find the time! We have been to see Santa and have an advent calendar - but it is a wooden one that we put a chocolate in or other stuff, such as jokes. No elf, no Christmas PJ's or Christmas box.

We don't do elf on the shelf.

We have Xmas eve boxes because my mum made them and filled them a few years back. Will refill with about five quids worth of stuff.

We're going on a very cheap winter walk.

We have Xmas pjs because my mum is a whizz with a sewing machine and made them for us.

We have chocolate advent calendars.

There's so much pressure to spend money these days. Presents used to be enough!!

I really don't know if any of my friends/family do any of that stuff, but I don't think they do, I've certainly not seen anyone boasting about doing these things on social media.

My children have got chocolate advent calanders too, they love chocolate and are very happy with them! I don't think they are even aware that toy advent calanders are a thing and even if they were I wouldn't get them one as they already have more than enough tiny plastic toys languishing in the bottom of toy boxes, I'm not adding to it!

The school usually have a Christmas Fair every year where Santa has a little grotto and they get to see him and get a little present for about £2 and our village makes an event out of switching on the Christmas lights this weekend. I don't see the need for them to see more than one Santa so don't book any other "experiences" although we do sometimes go to some of our local National Trust places to see their Christmas displays etc.

I try not to let the whole Christmas period drag on for too long as I have a 7yr old with ASD who finds it difficult looking forward to Christmas for weeks on end as he doesn't have much concept of time, it's also his birthday a few days after Christmas day so the anticipation is doubled!

Well I can beat you, I forgot to get chocolate advent calendars and there were none left yesterday! My kids have got a bag of celebrations that they can have one out of every day instead. I was really pleased this year to stop the elf on the shelf as we now don't have any believers but my youngest still wanted them to come back and do things every night 😫. She also is still writing letters to Santa even though she 'knows'

Nah, you’re fine.

Social media is the worst for this kind of thing. In reality very few people do all out elf activities every day. We never have and my kids liked the lego calendar but loved the chocolates ones so we've never bothered since.

@LadyMonicaBaddingham

People are not really doing these things for their children; they are doing them for themselves and their own self-image. It's a sad truth that pictures for social media is the prime reason for things like matching family pyjamas 🤮 and stacks of gifts that almost eclipse the Christmas tree (which has, of course, been up since mid-November).

Don't get me started on that bloody elf... a Christmas tradition, my fat white arse

That’s not necessarily true. We can assure the OP that she’s doing absolutely fine and sounds like a lovely parent without criticising others’ parenting in turn. It’s not a competition, and no one is better or worse than each other so each to their own. Pick and choose which bits you want to do. My daughter has a Lego advent calendar, and we’ve a Santa winter wonderland experience booked but we don’t do Elf on the shelf and don’t have Christmas Eve boxes. Some people like to share photos online to share the joy with friends and family. The kids love it. It’s fine either way but like I say, we can reassure the OP without putting other people down for what they choose to do. OP, if you feel you need to step away from social media over the Christmas period then it can be very freeing. Take care

Elf on the shelf is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. I cringe every time someone posts on social media 'what their elf has been up to'. Such bollocks.
We don't do xmas eve boxes or pyjamas. DCs have advent calendars, that's about it.
How the people have the time for all that stuff I have no idea.
You are doing OK, OP!

Social media isn't the real world.

My kids all have a chocolate advent calendar

We don't do elf on the shelf at all

We don't have matching Christmas PJs

We never do a Christmas eve box

We probably aren't going to visit santa and we've nothing booked.

Our decorations only go up Saturday

And they only have 8 presents each off me. Granted they're exactly what they asked for, and an oculus which is bloody expensive. But they don't have piles and piles of presents.

There seems to have even an explosion in over doing Christmas over the past 10 years. Over extravagant Advent Calendars, matching Christmas pjs & jumpers, Christmas Eve boxes, visits to Lapland/ Wonderland/ theme parks , the bloody Elf.

You're absolutely NOT a crap parent if you don't buy into it all and share it all over social media. Your Children will still see the magic in Christmas without showing off to all and sundry.

I think you're over thinking this! It's nice to have a few Christmas traditions, but you don't need to follow ALL of them!

Usually we have chocolate calendars for each child and do some sort of Christmas activity like lights or ice skating and we often chop our tree. Depends on the year.
Family sometimes get stuff for kids like pjs, jumpers or a fancy toy calendar. The school Christmas jumper days honestly annoy me as I feel like I need to buy more pointless stuff!

I couldn't find any chocolate advent calendars left in the shops, so my kids got a tube of smarties and some new pants! :D

I'd step away from social media. It's giving you a skewed view of what people are doing. It's like an insidious form of marketing... makes you think you need to buy extra stuff which you really don't.

Quick nip in and out of a santa grotto, a chocolate advent calendar and some nice presents on the day sounds lovely.

Do it your way, don't worry about others.

Comparison really is the thief of joy.

Stop looking at social media. It does very little but make people feel like crap!