Suddenly feel like a crap parent.

[Ceecee30]

I did not get them a toy advent calendar like many people have posted on Facebook. They have chocolate ones. They seem happy with that but what if their friends have the toy ones and they realise they don't?

We have an elf on the shelf but he isn't half as adventurous as some. He often just sits on the shelf so climbs on the lampshade. we didn't buy one of the fancy balloons people bought to welcome him back.

We don't have matching Christmas pjs.

I don't plan to do Christmas Eve boxes.

I haven't booked a Santa experience, a winter wonderland or any other things.

We do have our decs up. We have been out looking at neighbours lights the last few nights. Dd did see Santa at a winter fayre but it was a quick whip in and out grotto. We've been to look in the local garden centre which is amazing at Christmas.

They've got a fair amount of presents each on Christmas Day itself but is all the extra leading up to it essential?

Please tell I'm not the only one who doesn't do everything everyone else is doing?!

Social media is the devil. Making me feel like we don't do much in comparison.

If SM is making you feel like this, come off it for a few weeks.

I do none of your list, never have. Apart from putting up decorations.

What ages are your dc?
They’ve got plenty of presents for Christmas and they’re spending quality time with their mum, going to see the lights etc. Stop following the materialistic social media influencers.
I don’t have advent calendars, elf on the shelf, Christmas Eve boxes, Christmas pjs and the decorations aren’t going up until the 21st. Guess I’m a crap parent.
(Dc is going for breakfast with Father Christmas though.)

@idontlikealdi

Worst decision I ever made was to start the bloody elves. Ours got married and had a baby. Don't do that!

I would book Father Christmas but the rest of it mig a chance and we love Christmas.

Omg 😅😅

@TheBestWhootersInWhoville they are 10&6 ☺️

Over my dead body would we ever have Christmas pjs, Christmas Eve boxes or Santa experience.

It’s all beyond tacky.

I was always low key with the run up to Christmas because I don't like the clutter and wastefulness of lots of plastic and single use items. My DD used to complain a bit when she was younger but now that's she a teenager she's impressed that I was thinking about the environment. Your kids might have another 90 years on this planet so don't feel you have to buy into the consumerism for their sake.

When I was a kid (we are talking the 1960s and 70s here, yes I am old!), we had an advent calendar just with pictures. Chocolate ones were not a thing. Yet we still found it exciting.

Also (getting away from Christmas here), on our birthdays we'd just have a party at home. Little sandwiches, sausages on sticks, jelly, a slice of birthday cake, and a balloon to take home. No goody bags for the party guests, no magicians or parties held at venues. Nobody did. Well I suppose rich families may have had magicians, but nobody I knew did that. We still really enjoyed our parties.

For a summer holiday, my parents couldn't afford to go abroad, we'd stay in a caravan in Norfolk. I can remember being giddy with excitement when the holiday came around. I had the same feeling at Christmas.

The point is, why does it have to escalate, why do we always need to do more and more? It's surely not sustainable, both from an environmental point of view and psychologically. We all love our kids and want to treat them, but all this must put more and more pressure on families who cannot afford these things for their children. Of which there are more and more these days. Many kids don't even have safe decent housing and we know from Marcus Radford's campaign that many parents struggle to feed their DCs in the school holidays.

It's awful. I don't know what the answer is, but we seem to have our priorities wrong somehow.

Thanks all. Kids are 10 &6 and my eldest is autistic and pretty young for his age. They do actually have Christmas pjs! Just cheap ones that don't match. My kids don't get along enough to be matchy and cute 😅 I did actually buy myself some Xmas pjs last year. My local Sainsburys sells their Christmas pyjamas off for like £2-3 a day to two before Christmas. I won't buy them now full price! 😅

I used to stress myself out about this. All I saw (still do) on Facebook was elf on the shelf, people taking their kids to some kind of winter wonderland, Christmas balloons, Christmas Eve boxes, matching pyjamas etc. I don’t do any of these. I take my dc to see Santa, I get him 1 standard chocolate advent calender and I do buy him Xmas pyjamas but never these ‘Christmas pyjamas for all the family” but then I realised as long as he has a good Christmas with the presents he wants then that’s all that matters. A lot of people do it for show, don’t let it make you feel bad Social media can be a horrible place sometimes

If that's the basis of being a good parent, then I'm a crap one to!
My DD has never had elf on the shelf, she had a playability advent calendar last year but only because I won it!
We've never done winter wonderland or anything like that. She's now 11 and has the best memories of Christmas as we still have loads of fun doing other things that suit us a family without the need to brag about it on social media!
Don't sell yourself short, your kids have you and they have a family. You're doing great

Clearly that was meant to be Playmobil lol

And also, there was none of these things when I was a child, and I still remember having the most wonderful time!

I have never done any of it except advent calendars maybe skating or lights or an occasional Christmas show and my DC still love Christmas.

Chocolate advent calendars.

Mine have chocolate advent calendars, no elf on the shelf, no Xmas eve box or such like, couldn't get my son to wear pj's even if I paid him so I'm not easting money on one and he'll be wearing last year's Xmas jumper because it was expensive and still fits. We do have last years santa train ride rebooted for this year though but I'd have booked that again as I love it

Couldn't give a toss what anyone else is doing on SM

Switch off social media for a month, it's far easier to focus on what's best for your family rather than seeing #makingmemories
My kids are autistic, our Christmas is very low key...tree up on 23rd, presents that aren't a surprise (both hate surprises), no trips out, Christmas dinner with copious amounts of ketchup etc, very quiet with usual daily routine, no Xmas jumpers as "they are scratchy" etc.
I've always found it sad when I see others on SM having amazing Christmases, but you do whatever works for your family.

I'm sure you know you're not a crap parent. Some parents batter and starve their kids. Social media is only what they want people to see and is only the good bits. Buying over the top things for kids doesn't mean they're perfect.

I have felt exactly the same today - so pleased I spotted this thread.

On fb I’ve seen whole tables set up for 1st December! Chocolate Advent calendars, Toy advent calendars, elaborate elf displays and even toys! When did the 1st December become an event - a thing?!!

My three children have a chocolate advent each - that’s it!

I hate the Elf. Christmas is magical enough plus, we’ve got enough going on so I can’t add to the mental load. My sister has attempted to introduce the elf to my DC but my DD was scared of his sneaking into her room so it didn’t last long.

We do little things over Christmas; a Christmas movie night with a box of chocolates, we put the tree up in a few weeks, a panto, hot chocolate with friends. We don’t need more than that and mine have never compared what they do to their friends so I don’t think it’s an issue.

Sounds similar to what we have/are doing.
I refuse to do that elf. I don't have enough time to keep the house clean let alone do that sort of thing.
DD 3.5 has a Peppa pig book advent calendar- comes out every year and a chocolate one - she has the choc after dinner.
We've got decs up, dont a father xmas visit and are going with extended family to a Christmas lights experience thing one evening.
No matching pjs, no luxury toy advent calendars, no xmas eve boxes. We will do a few after school walks round neighbourhood to see neighbours' lights. We have bought a string of solar powered lights for the outside of our house this year but currently they're still in box.
Like someone else said- comparison is thief of joy. You do you and your kids will enjoy all that they have.

I'm a really crap christmas mum as I left it so late to get the advent calendars that they had to put up with the only ones left at the corner shop. They are Paw Patrol ones. They are teenagers. I did point out that it was that or Peppa Pig and they'd have to have shared Peppa as it was the last one.

My children don’t have chocolate advent calendars as I genuinely find them (and did as a child) I exciting and joyless - the little pictures are so much more magical! My 2 were so excited to get their calendars this morning and can’t wait until the weekend when we’ll put the decorations up. Then I’ve got 3 little Christmas treats booked (shows etc) and that’s it until Christmas Eve. Honestly all this ‘stuff’ is just too much. And don’t forget that lots of kids won’t even get the stuff you’re doing but might do other stuff instead. It’s not a competition!

We don't do toy advents I don't want all the shit lying around after

We have booked a few things but due to GPS paying or whatever

Matching pj's. Nah not for me. But a relative did buy the 2 youngest dcs a pair. I don't put it all over SM

Our elf. Isn't that adventurous either. I can't be bothered tbh

Well I didn't even notice it was December so the advent calendars are still in the cupboard. One chocolate and one National Geographic one with ricks and fossils.

We have no decorations yet though will get there at some point and I won't be doing any of the rest of it.