Suddenly feel like a crap parent.

[Ceecee30]

I did not get them a toy advent calendar like many people have posted on Facebook. They have chocolate ones. They seem happy with that but what if their friends have the toy ones and they realise they don't?

We have an elf on the shelf but he isn't half as adventurous as some. He often just sits on the shelf so climbs on the lampshade. we didn't buy one of the fancy balloons people bought to welcome him back.

We don't have matching Christmas pjs.

I don't plan to do Christmas Eve boxes.

I haven't booked a Santa experience, a winter wonderland or any other things.

We do have our decs up. We have been out looking at neighbours lights the last few nights. Dd did see Santa at a winter fayre but it was a quick whip in and out grotto. We've been to look in the local garden centre which is amazing at Christmas.

They've got a fair amount of presents each on Christmas Day itself but is all the extra leading up to it essential?

Please tell I'm not the only one who doesn't do everything everyone else is doing?!

Social media is the devil. Making me feel like we don't do much in comparison.

@CloudyStorms

Noone needs Christmas pjs.

Or Christmas bedding sets at £49.50 a pop (King size, M & S) - so also aimed at adults.

Why are people buying into this?

Oh ffs.

We have no decs up yet
We have no elf
They have a v basic choc calendar
We do not do christmas eve boxes
They do have christmas pjs because we are in the habit of buying a warm winter pair around this time of year anyway.
We do not do santa visits.

She's seen santa 5 times already and has 8 more booked. She's taking her ds out of school for 6 days because the only ones she could book at certain ones were school days and be couldn't possibly miss out.
It's plastered over SM.

Madness.

Nope, no elves, 'boxes' or matching pjs here, either.

DD is 11 - she has never had those things and didn't miss them.

I don't understand why people have seen Santa already? It's only the 1st of December.

I'm not religious, but the Church has this one right. Advent is enough of a build up in terms of time. I loathe seeing Christmas lights and decs around remembrance sunday and the pressure to spend is bonkers and made worse by dragging it out.

My son gets an Advent calendar with a Nativity image on it so he thinks he's onto a winner if it's got chocolate too.

I don't personally see the point in an Advent calendar if you miss the part about it being Advent.
If you aren't a Christian it seems weird to me to be mimicking Christians celebrating part of their liturgical calendar.

We've got our Christmas tree up & it will be decorated today & we've got our Nativity set out although not all the parts are in place yet.
Our Advent candle is ready for tonight.

All the Santa, elves, boxes on Christmas eve, reindeers, matching pjs. day trips to some random place to have 'experiences' etc.. are just meaningless.

Our Christmas is wonderful without all that extra stuff.
We do have lovely food, pretty decorations, Christmas presents etc.. just not the whole consumerfest you see in the shops or on Social Media.

Do it if you want to & enjoy it, but it has nothing to do with Christmas anyway, so there is no reason to feel bad if you don't.

It’s interesting how some have commented how ‘in the last ten years or so this has got worse’ (to paraphrase) and obviously social media has exploded in that time. It’s all a competition on there to be the best parent. But there are no medals… Elf on the shelf is not our thing, I don’t really get that one. But each to their own. Christmas Eve boxes I’ve done but they are soon forgotten about with the excitement of the day after. Hot chocolate and a film the best.

Keep it simple. Children love simple and nice things. I love the idea of driving to see the best houses and a McDonald’s drive thru that someone posted here… in fact I’m actually pinching that one!!! Here is decorating the tree, Christmas jumper and party day at school, lots of films in my bed or blankets in the front room and nice food and presents on the big day. Might visit Santa at some point. But that’s as exciting as it gets!

@Confiscatedpopit looking for Christmas lights and McDonald's drive thru is a win! It's the simple things!

I mean you could give Elf a few more adventures in funny places, littlys love that! Nothing wrong with chocie advent calendars though. For a little effort you can really make Christmas Eve a magical time as well not just a day that isn’t celebrated. Remember they’re only young once!

@Confiscatedpopit

Elf on the shelf is great fun for the kids! It’s a bit like an Easter hunter type of thing where they wake up each day on the 12 days before Christmas and try to find where he’s got to. It’s actually really hilarious and cute watching them!😂

The only thing we ever did was advent calendars, the year we did a toy one, they were both disappointed, as they liked to naughtiness of chocolate with breakfast.

In fact, I still buy advent calendars for them (and for DS's flatmates too now!)

@LadyMonicaBaddingham

People are not really doing these things for their children; they are doing them for themselves and their own self-image. It's a sad truth that pictures for social media is the prime reason for things like matching family pyjamas 🤮 and stacks of gifts that almost eclipse the Christmas tree (which has, of course, been up since mid-November).

Don't get me started on that bloody elf... a Christmas tradition, my fat white arse

Completely agree! But I do wonder how people are getting their husbands to agree to matching PJs, mine Would be having none of it 😂

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Do what you want, don't feel pressured by other people. So much of this is commercial rubbish. Kids just need you to love them. IMO

You're not a crap parent.

My kids have old school picture advent calendars not even chocolate ones.

We did a school fair Santa's grotto

I CBA for any elf shit

They have Xmas pjs but they don't match. Youngest has eldest's ones from a couple of years ago.

No Xmas Eve boxes as they get enough on Xmas day as it is.

Each to their own @Ceecee30. We didn't do many of the things in your list and none of my four young adults are in therapy (yet!) because they didn't have Elf on the Shelf. In fact, the thing they reminisce most about is evening walks around the village looking at the Christmas lights.

Please don’t feel bad.

We have chocolate calendars.

We stopped doing elf on the shelf because the kids figured out it was us straight away and just weren’t bothered by it.

Oh I really hate elf on the shelf. Feels like everyone is doing it, and honestly, it’s just another thing on the to do list. So I’m not doing it.

We did take DS to see Santa though and bought him a pair of Xmas pjs for a fiver. He has lots of hand me down Christmas tops thankfully

Do Christmas your way.

When DP landed home with the fucking elf he had no idea. Thought it was just a cute Christmas toy. But I don't do anything elaborate. I've no time for that. There's some women out there spending a fortune on props, and with far too much time on their hands.

Mine does a cheap, easy and quick prank, job done. If it takes more than 15 mins to set up, fuck that. I cobble together a list of about 30 and whatever things I might need and we take turns to pick one off the list and stage it.

My Christmas jumper comes from Lidl. I got it about 5 years ago and it'll do until it falls apart. I don't need a new one every year.

The only reason I remind everyone to get into nice PJs for Christmas is because of the one time my holey PJs meant that the Christmas morning video had to be scrapped for indecency reasons.

So you don't have to go crazy every year. In fact I think sometimes parents can get too stressed at wanting the perfect Christmas and shoot themselves in the foot because all their efforts go to pot if they are too pissed off or exhausted to enjoy their own Christmas time with the kids.

Don’t do xmas boxes either. Normally just let them
Open one present on xmas eve.

They do like putting out a mince pie, carrot and some milk though 🤷‍♀️

I would absolutely not do all the elf things and gifts before c mas . What is it teaching dcs to do all that??
Its absolute consumerisim to line pockets and a created ' need'.
How can they possibly appriciate it if its more more more.?
Id go so far as to say i wd be activley embarassed to do all those things. Andnto put them fb .. ? Just why?
Who needs to know. Its not a competution , and if it is its tacky.
Our tradition was new jamas ( whennthey were growing).on christmas eve after carols in the pub ( little ones welcomed ) and hot choc before bed. No gifts. Christmas am , stockings and gifts.
Boxing day walks.
Chill.
Bliss.

@DeepaBeesKit

Oh ffs.

We have no decs up yet
We have no elf
They have a v basic choc calendar
We do not do christmas eve boxes
They do have christmas pjs because we are in the habit of buying a warm winter pair around this time of year anyway.
We do not do santa visits.

Yes I buy winter pj's that will last for cold nights well into april!! Not just Xmas. It is madness. It has grown arms and legs this whole thing and most of it is just to post about on social media

We've never done Elf on a Shelf as I couldn't be arsed to think up tricks every day. DS did (does) have an Elf but he/she/it just goes off to help Santa on Christmas Eve and comes back with a gift in the morning which I set up a treasure hunt for (DS is now 14, streetwise as only a 14 year can be, but still enjoys the 'Elf's got to go and help Santa' tradition ... and the treasure hunt for the gift in the morning)

We don't have Christmas pyjamas although I used to get DS a onesie for Christmas Eve - not Christmas themed though. That came from the Elf with a 'see you in the morning' message.

DS doesn't like chocolate and has too many toys already so we got a Christmas story advent calendar which we bring out each year - it has little books setting out the Nativity and you can hang the books on a tree each day. He used to enjoy snuggling up and hearing the story each year and it will be his when he leaves home.

We used to see Santa (once is enough) but now he's older we go to the cinema and a McDonalds afterwards at some point in December plus a lit forest or Christmas themed stately home garden walk during Christmas week just to get the Christmas juices flowing.

When I was younger it was Santa, Christmas shopping, school nativity and making paper chains. Oddly enough, DS's best friend always makes paper chains every year - not bothered about any of the other stuff once he out grew visits to Santa, he just likes to sit with his mum and brother making chains and eating chocolate. Little things make Christmas.

Its absolute consumerisim to line pockets and a created ' need'

There's nothing necessarily consumerist about the elf. Ours was very cheap, has been on the go for 4 years and hasn't cost us a penny beyond initial outlay.

Please don’t worry OP. Christmas has become massively over commercialised and there is so, so much unnecessary ‘stuff’ and landfill everywhere at this time of year.

I promise you that kids don’t need 1000 toys, an elf on the shelf, a toy advent calendar, a Christmas Eve box or a reindeer breakfast. If people want to do all that (or more) that’s absolutely their choice and probably their kids will love it. Or they won’t love it. But one thing is for sure, they don’t need it.

You are not defined as a parent by how much stuff you buy or how many experiences you give them.

Some of the simplest things that you don’t even plan for are what kids remember the most.

My kids have a chocolate advent calendar and that would have been all but a god parent got them each another type too.

Never done elf on the shelf or Christmas Eve boxes. They get new PJS or a onesie on Christmas Eve purely because it’s a nice tradition and something they wear for another year (so I avoid anything that says Christmas actually on it).

Please don’t feel pressured into doing anything more.

@MarmitesMyMate

I don't compare because most is for show.

A friend of mine has to compare everything. If someone goes to 1 grotto she has to book. If someone had a glittery shit she'd ask them how she could do the same.
She can't bear to miss out on anything at all! But if she books something different is secretive incase someone goes b4 her! It's so bizzare.
She's seen santa 5 times already and has 8 more booked. She's taking her ds out of school for 6 days because the only ones she could book at certain ones were school days and be couldn't possibly miss out.
It's plastered over SM. And makes others feel so low because they can't do it.

Omg I know someone like this. It's crazy

I feel like this too. I have also concluded the best thing is to step away from social media.
I refuse to buy an elf. I am not doing Christmas eve boxes because we have our own tradition then or buying matching pyjamas. Or going to all the Santa's grottos (that sold out last month anyway).

I hate my brain for worrying about it.