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I’ve been admitted to hospital at 37 weeks pg and my do didn’t want to join me
232

PinkFing · 29/11/2021 06:51

AIBU as he’s got work in the morning?

I’ve had a really intense migraine all night and have literally been crawling around our flat in pain. He didn’t want to wake up Ans was telling me to be quiet. At three I called a taxi to take me in after speaking to triage.

I asked if he wanted to come and he said no as he’s got work in the morning.

I’m now dosed up on strong pain relief and have been told I’m staying in tonight. He said he’ll pop by after work.

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

Double3xposure · 29/11/2021 07:09

@thenewduchessofhastings

He let his heavily pregnant partner who's quite poorly take herself to the hospital and didn't even bother to ensure you got there safely?

What a selfish horrible wanker.

This.

I hope you are feeling a bit better op.
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Thethreecs · 29/11/2021 07:09

*told you, not tilt

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MiddayMass · 29/11/2021 07:10

Are you prone to migraines OP? I’m trying to work out why he appears to have shown no concern at all. Did he think it probably was ‘just a migraine? Not that it would make the situation any better, he still left you in pain and did bugger all. I can’t imagine a heavily pregnant loved one being in agony and crawling around and me not being very concerned and doing whatever I could to help. Hypothetically something more serious could have been going on (thank god it wasn’t) and you could have been seriously ill and deteriorating. This is terrible behaviour from him.

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spotcheck · 29/11/2021 07:11

If he’d come with you he’d have had to pay for a taxi back, plus presumably he needs to work to provide for you and baby


...and?

Do we know her partner doesn't drive? Do we know that they are down to their last can if beans, and can't afford the return taxi?

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Rosiiiiie · 29/11/2021 07:12

Are you any better OP? Sorry you’re feeling so rubbish!

You DP acted like a bit of a dick tbh. He should’ve made sure you got to hospital ok, even if it meant he couldn’t stay. Hope he’s in a better mood today!

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PinkFing · 29/11/2021 07:14

I get a migraine about once a year but I can’t take the usual tablets. He would have been more sympathetic in the day but is not happy to be woken at night.

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GodIsAVegan · 29/11/2021 07:15

He would have been more sympathetic in the day but is not happy to be woken at night.

He does realise babies tend to wake up in the night?

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Whatwouldscullydo · 29/11/2021 07:15

He would have been more sympathetic in the day but is not happy to be woken at night

No ones happy to be woken at night Confused what's he so special he gets emergencies only in the day time.

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Rosiiiiie · 29/11/2021 07:16

@PinkFing it’s not really the same as any migraine though. You’re 37 weeks!! For all he knows you could’ve gotten to hospital and they could’ve decided on an emergency Caesar!

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MiddayMass · 29/11/2021 07:18

He’s going to be a nightmare when baby is born. If he whinges everytime he’s awoken in the night it’s going to be like caring for 2 babies for you.

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PinkFing · 29/11/2021 07:18

I know. I’m dreading the nights as I don’t think he’ll be much use

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Sirzy · 29/11/2021 07:18

He better get used to being woken at night pretty quickly!

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THisbackwithavengeance · 29/11/2021 07:18

You're literally crawling round the room with pain at 37 weeks pregnant?

And you had to call the hospital yourself and sort out your own taxi. And he tells you to shut up!

Yeah I know he's got work and needs his beauty sleep but seriously?

That's fucked up. He clearly doesn't give a shit.

OP, I get it. Nobody wants to be a single parent, or have a new born alone. We all want a loving relationship and a stable family. I am guessing you won't dump him on this occasion.

But you have to know that this level of unconcern is not normal. You wouldn't leave a dog in pain like that least of all the person you are supposed to be in love with and starting a family with. A normal partner would've been up with you, holding your hand, putting cold compresses on your head, calling the doctor, sorting out transport regardless of whether or not he'd be allowed to be on the ward with you now.

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DrSbaitso · 29/11/2021 07:19

Make sure you have a strong outside support network for when the baby is born.

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PinkFing · 29/11/2021 07:20

That’s what I thought he’d be like Sad.

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Unsure1983 · 29/11/2021 07:20

I would be incandescent at such disregard and selfishness. I've been in abusive relationships and even those partners wouldn't have done that. If he continues to be useless OP, I'd suggest you would be a lot happier without him.

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tallduckandhandsome · 29/11/2021 07:21

Be very clear with him that you both get a lie in each week.

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PinkFing · 29/11/2021 07:22

I think he’ll step up when the baby’s here. He’s been really excited about becoming a dad

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Obsidiansphere · 29/11/2021 07:22

He sounds like he doesn’t care about you Sad
My dh came with me every time I was admitted when pregnant (I have a condition)
Wtf is he going to be like when baby is demand feeding through the night!

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pansypotter123 · 29/11/2021 07:22

Glad you are feeling better.

How old is he? You say earlier that you thought he would have grown up, what other things does he do, or not do?

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PinkFing · 29/11/2021 07:24

I’m hoping to breastfeed so I’ll be the one in charge there.

He’s 31 so not a kid. He just lives like one as in partying hard on his evenings off! I thought he’d have calmed down when I got pregnant

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SanFranBear · 29/11/2021 07:29

@PinkFing

I think he’ll step up when the baby’s here. He’s been really excited about becoming a dad

I don't want to burst your bubble, but the reality of newborn babies tests the strongest of couples.. I don't think he's going to step up - and I think you know that.

Flowers and Cake for you - from a total stranger who is more worried about you than the father of your child!
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GoodnightGrandma · 29/11/2021 07:30

Do you have your own bank account with any maternity pay paid into it ?

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PinkFing · 29/11/2021 07:30

He’s up and I’ve just had a really sweet text from him. He’s not always this shitty

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ZenNudist · 29/11/2021 07:30

Ugh are you married? Don't marry him whatever you do. Give the baby your name.

He is not going to step up. He is selfish and that's not going to change. Its a shame you're pregnant by him as you could have found someone nice who would care for you.

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