Threads

See more results

Topics

Usernames

Mumsnet Logo
Please
or
to access all these features

I’ve been admitted to hospital at 37 weeks pg and my do didn’t want to join me
232

PinkFing · 29/11/2021 06:51

AIBU as he’s got work in the morning?

I’ve had a really intense migraine all night and have literally been crawling around our flat in pain. He didn’t want to wake up Ans was telling me to be quiet. At three I called a taxi to take me in after speaking to triage.

I asked if he wanted to come and he said no as he’s got work in the morning.

I’m now dosed up on strong pain relief and have been told I’m staying in tonight. He said he’ll pop by after work.

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

goose1964 · 30/11/2021 11:31

My DH was rubbish at night, he could sleep through the babies crying so Is have to wake him, than he'd take time to fully wake up. I would have fed the baby and got back to sleep by the time he was ready, but he was a brilliant dad at anyother time, he would happily change nappies, take the baby out so I could rest, do bath times etc. Funnily enough DD takes after him in the dynamite out of bed way and her DH used to do night feeds.

Please
or
to access all these features

TopCatsTopHat · 30/11/2021 12:46

goose1964 that is reassuring, lets hope it's just a case of different strengths and weaknesses. But I'm betting your dh didn't tell you he'd better handle the finances (that are yours) because you weren't making enough savings while simultaneously drinking all his spare money and demonstrating a total lack of care to you being a great pain while carrying his child.

Please
or
to access all these features

Austen33 · 30/11/2021 12:58

He expects you to give up excessive shopping. You expect him to give up excessive partying. Both seem sensible.

If you don't give the baby his name, don't expect him to bond quickly.

Please
or
to access all these features

Merryoldgoat · 30/11/2021 13:00

If you don't give the baby his name, don't expect him to bond quickly

Wtaf??

Please
or
to access all these features

lifesgoodwithlg · 30/11/2021 13:29

Are you on the same thread where daddy of the year refused to get out of bed to accompany his partner to hospital when she had some symptoms of pre eclampsia?

Please
or
to access all these features

DrSbaitso · 30/11/2021 15:23

If you don't give the baby his name, don't expect him to bond quickly.

If he refuses to bond with his own child based on their name, don't expect him to be a decent father in any other regards either. Although that's an expectation you should already have dropped.

Please
or
to access all these features

NollaigNollaig · 30/11/2021 17:24

Gosh you have such low standards. I’d get up in the middle of the night for a friend in need never mind my partner, the person I’m supposed to love!!! Wishing you the best of luck with your new baby and useless partner. I’m glad you’re feeling better. Unfortunately I foresee you back on these threads in a few months complaining about your useless other half.

Please
or
to access all these features

Benjispruce5 · 30/11/2021 18:04

Exactly @NollaigNollaig as I said upthread, I’d accompany a stranger if they needed me to! Low standards indeed.

Please
or
to access all these features

Benjispruce5 · 30/11/2021 18:06

Rubbish partners not getting up in the night are shameful. What if they were single parents? They do it became you allow them to. Live with it and put up with it if that’s what you want but don’t complain, leave!

Please
or
to access all these features

PinkFing · 30/11/2021 18:25

I haven’t got low standards. I posted because I was really hurt and surprised by his actions.

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Benjispruce5 · 30/11/2021 18:29

You were easily swayed by a ‘sweet text’ and seem to live in hope that he’ll change. He’s shown you who he is, believe him.

Please
or
to access all these features

PinkFing · 30/11/2021 18:31

I’ve been with him for 5 happy years. He’s shown me he’s a good guy constantly which is why this has hurt me so much. I forgive way to easily I k ow

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Benjispruce5 · 30/11/2021 18:32

I hope you’re right but no decent partner would treat you that way, I’m sorry.Flowers

Please
or
to access all these features

NollaigNollaig · 30/11/2021 18:34

@PinkFing

I’ve been with him for 5 happy years. He’s shown me he’s a good guy constantly which is why this has hurt me so much. I forgive way to easily I k ow

Yes such a good guy. I can’t imagine a better partner than someone who won’t take me to hospital when severely ill and pregnant as it disturbs his beauty sleep and who instead ignores me. What a prince among men.

You’re kidding yourself op. You’re having a baby with a inconsiderate druggie.
Please
or
to access all these features

DrSbaitso · 30/11/2021 18:36

@PinkFing

I’ve been with him for 5 happy years. He’s shown me he’s a good guy constantly which is why this has hurt me so much. I forgive way to easily I k ow

So you were happy for the five years he was able to do whatever he liked. Things are changing. Are you happy with how he is now?
Please
or
to access all these features

PinkFing · 30/11/2021 18:38

@DrSbaitso well that’s it. We’ve been really happy leading our life as 20 somethings with jobs but no other responsibilities and now he’s suddenly a 30 something with a baby on the way and I think he’s getting what he always wanted (a family) but he’s freaking out or avoiding the responsibility side too.

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Hoolahupsaresquare · 30/11/2021 18:41

I’d be interested to know what your interpretation of having low standards would be for a partner ?

Please
or
to access all these features

PinkFing · 30/11/2021 18:45

Someone who had low self esteem and thought that being spoken to like shit all the time was ok. If I was like this I wouldn’t even had posted and been upset at his actions

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Hoolahupsaresquare · 30/11/2021 18:46

I hope we are all wrong and he turns into a doting dad when the baby is born.

The idea that he can treat his heavily pregnant DP like he has this morning to you would be a dealbreaker for me to be honest with you.

Please
or
to access all these features

Throckmorton · 30/11/2021 18:52

As you are not married, for the love of God do not give up your job to be a SAHM. It would make you incredibly vulnerable financially

Please
or
to access all these features

PinkFing · 30/11/2021 19:00

I wouldn’t. I love working. It’s my friendship group as well as my work so no chance!

Also we are both used to having two wages.

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

tattychicken · 30/11/2021 19:05

Where was he last night at nearly midnight when you came home from hospital? How did you get home?

Please
or
to access all these features

PinkFing · 30/11/2021 19:23

I got a bus home. He was at work. He’s in catering so late nights are normal

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Bigoldhag · 30/11/2021 19:27

He is shit, and I know when you’ve got a matter of weeks to go, you probably don’t want to even think it because it feels too late.

He’s not a good partner and I don’t think he will be a good dad either.

Please
or
to access all these features

cooldarkroom · 30/11/2021 19:59

So, You might have had a serious health problem, but he got cross.& at no point supported you.
He doesn't "do" nights
Money is tight, but he is pissing it up against the wall.
You got the bus home after a night under surveillance in hospital.
What a peach.
Who cooked the dinner tonight ?

Please
or
to access all these features
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.