Copycat Friend

[NearlyThereMum]

Can't believe I'm writing this in my 30s as it seems incredibly petty but here I am anyway!

My friend and I have known each other since we were 4 and have always been good friends but not best friends, I.e. see each other maybe once a month and text weekly.

I now have a 6 month old and she has a 2 month old. The issue (petty though it is) is that she is copying a lot of my sons things and it's driving me nuts. Since the babies have been here, we've been seeing each other much more for walks/ coffee etc. She had really bad baby blues and I like to think I've supported her with it as best I can by having a listening ear etc. She is now feeling well again. The things she is copying are clothes, snowsuits, some of his toys. I don't know how she knew where they were from as I specifically never told her. I could cope with this- they grow out of them so quickly that I don't really care as they're into something new quickly. However she has now escalated and has picked the same nursery wall paper and furniture (the furniture has little silver cross badges on, I specifically didn't tell her where it was from).

AIBU to find this annoying and if so, how can I bring it up without ruining our friendship?

@RKid

Copying the babies nursery would annoy the shit outta me ngl. The saying ‘’imitation is the biggest form of flattery’’ annoys me so much 😂 So I don’t think you are unreasonable for feeling this way at all but I definitely wouldn’t lose a friendship over it (not suggesting you are or will) but it could make things awkward by bringing it up. You could subtly say ‘oh we have the same wallpaper haha....’ Etc but ultimately let it go. She will hopefully find her own thing soon!

I'm hoping she will too. It's just an irk, not worth losing a friend over but annoying none the less

Plagiarism!! You bought generic commercial stuff from a shop that thousands of others have bought - you didn't come up with an entirely original idea. I have a 12 year old and 15 month old. Last weekend I was at a mate's house whose kids are 18 months and 3. She had some really cool toys my youngest loved I hadn't seen before. Went home - loaded up Amazon prime - toddler now owns 2 of them. Texted friend to let her know that dd was loving it.

@Hosum

Plagiarism!! You bought generic commercial stuff from a shop that thousands of others have bought - you didn't come up with an entirely original idea. I have a 12 year old and 15 month old. Last weekend I was at a mate's house whose kids are 18 months and 3. She had some really cool toys my youngest loved I hadn't seen before. Went home - loaded up Amazon prime - toddler now owns 2 of them. Texted friend to let her know that dd was loving it.

Each to their own

Hmm I've noticed that those who agree with you are thanked but those that don't are belittled for their response 🤔

@lmnoh

Hmm I've noticed that those who agree with you are thanked but those that don't are belittled for their response 🤔

I've not belittled anyone for disagreeing but if people are rude then I will be rude back. Some people are clearly just having a bad day

My MIL copied me so much - hair, car, clothes, everything that one day from behind my sister was rude about her parking thinking it was me . When we got married she managed not to turn up in white…instead she asked to see the bridesmaid dresses…when I said we were keeping it all a surprise, she asked if she could just see a corner of the material as she would hate to choose a colour that clashed…to be fair…she didn’t get a clashing colour she got exactly the same colour!! In a bespoke silk outfit she flew abroad to have commissioned. I shudder when people say imitation is the sincerest form of flatter now. It was really uncomfortable. I’m all for copying a good idea and have bought things and suggested things to friends that are the same lots of times but having someone copy everything feels like they’re trying to be you (and in my MIL’s case be a better version of me!) and that is uncomfortable. I do sympathise that she’s in a difficult place but I also sympathise with how it makes you feel.

@Silverdorkinghen

My MIL copied me so much - hair, car, clothes, everything that one day from behind my sister was rude about her parking thinking it was me . When we got married she managed not to turn up in white…instead she asked to see the bridesmaid dresses…when I said we were keeping it all a surprise, she asked if she could just see a corner of the material as she would hate to choose a colour that clashed…to be fair…she didn’t get a clashing colour she got exactly the same colour!! In a bespoke silk outfit she flew abroad to have commissioned. I shudder when people say imitation is the sincerest form of flatter now. It was really uncomfortable. I’m all for copying a good idea and have bought things and suggested things to friends that are the same lots of times but having someone copy everything feels like they’re trying to be you (and in my MIL’s case be a better version of me!) and that is uncomfortable. I do sympathise that she’s in a difficult place but I also sympathise with how it makes you feel.

Goodness that's even worse than my situation. Hopefully mil backs off soon and finds her own style!

Genuinely, I don't get it. I have a good friend who just bought a house and the interior is pretty much a copy of mine. You would think we used the same decorator.
And? Doesn't bother me the slightest. I'm flattered, I like my house, she liked my house - what's the problem? I'm also very happy to tell people where I got my kids' clothes and toys - why not bring more business to brands I like?
Honestly what's the issue? You want to be the only person in the world who has this specific snowsuit and wallpaper?

Why wouldn’t you pass on the clothes anyway?

@G5000

Genuinely, I don't get it. I have a good friend who just bought a house and the interior is pretty much a copy of mine. You would think we used the same decorator. And? Doesn't bother me the slightest. I'm flattered, I like my house, she liked my house - what's the problem? I'm also very happy to tell people where I got my kids' clothes and toys - why not bring more business to brands I like? Honestly what's the issue? You want to be the only person in the world who has this specific snowsuit and wallpaper?

Obv don't want to be the only person in the world. That's a ridiculous comment. lf you're happy having the same as your friend then that's your choice but I'm not

@EmJay19

Why wouldn’t you pass on the clothes anyway?

They're things my son is using

Yabu definitely

@NearlyThereMum - ironically it was a vile comment not from my MIL but from my FIL when our eldest was born that bought my DH and I to our senses! My DH had a bit of counselling about his childhood and we now meet them somewhere neutral and I don’t wear any of my favourite things!

[quote Silverdorkinghen]@NearlyThereMum - ironically it was a vile comment not from my MIL but from my FIL when our eldest was born that bought my DH and I to our senses! My DH had a bit of counselling about his childhood and we now meet them somewhere neutral and I don’t wear any of my favourite things![/quote]
Good god lol. Glad things seem to have improved though! Fingers crossed it continues

Not a big impact but I spent a lot of time choosing things and just feel annoyed that she's copied so much. I don't know why it annoys me so much but I can't help it

I hope you realise how ridiculous that sounds. You feel annoyed because you invested lots of time into choosing things and she just comes, sees what you have, likes it and buys it too. Jesus wept.

@EerieSilence

Not a big impact but I spent a lot of time choosing things and just feel annoyed that she's copied so much. I don't know why it annoys me so much but I can't help it

I hope you realise how ridiculous that sounds. You feel annoyed because you invested lots of time into choosing things and she just comes, sees what you have, likes it and buys it too. Jesus wept.

Your opinion if you think it's ridiculous but I can have my own opinions on it

I still don't get why it annoys you. If it's a design you came up with, it's your business, and someone copies it and sells it as their own - yes fair enough. But it's a generic shop bought snowsuit. Your friend takes a look and says 'good choice, I like it too'. Why is that a bad thing?

@G5000

I still don't get why it annoys you. If it's a design you came up with, it's your business, and someone copies it and sells it as their own - yes fair enough. But it's a generic shop bought snowsuit. Your friend takes a look and says 'good choice, I like it too'. Why is that a bad thing?

I just find it frustrating when there are plenty other things to buy

She had baby blues and is likely feeling insecure and is probably finding comfort with you if you’ve been a support. Taking choices you’ve made instead of making her own is probably a relief. I understand finding it “too much” and annoying but if it’s the only issue please breathe through it and ignore.

@BurntO

She had baby blues and is likely feeling insecure and is probably finding comfort with you if you’ve been a support. Taking choices you’ve made instead of making her own is probably a relief. I understand finding it “too much” and annoying but if it’s the only issue please breathe through it and ignore.

Quite intend to thanks. Had some lovely comments so have some new perspectives to try and remember when I'm getting fed up

@LoveGrooveDanceParty

Or did you think that the stuff you bought in shops was only for you?

It’s better just to ignore comments like this.

It it's relevant - why do people get annoyed that others buy something that's widely available in various shops? This totally baffles me. If you are so precious a out not being copied, throw money at the problem and buy bespoke wallpaper.

Love threes like this?

AIBU?
Yes..."Wow what awful people"
No...."Thanks for your lovely comment"

🤣

*threads not threes

I think it would annoy me because I’ve had a friend who copied things I had and wore and she would never acknowledge that she liked the item I had in the first place but would then go out and buy the exact same thing!
I get some of the comments from other posters though. Maybe she is just not sure of what to get and buy x

@YourFinestPantaloons

*threads not threes

If you're being honest some people have been OTT in their responses to a stranger on the internet