To be really angry with/let down by my family?

[MrsWarleggan]

After years and years DH and I have finally purchased our 1st home.

Move day is Saturday. Have large van booked and have friends helping move the big stuff and DH are doing runs back and forth with the smaller stuff. Family live 20 minutes away. DF is retired, DB, DS and DM are on two week holiday from work.

I asked DF if he could help DH with some tip runs yesterday he said he couldnt as he was busy. Fair enough. However later that night I found out his busy was breakfast with my DS and DB at 9am and they were home by 11am.

Asked DM whether she could have DD7 and 2 on actual move day and she said she couldn't as she wouldn't be here. I asked where she was going and she's off to Majorca with my DS for a long weekend. It was apparently a "really good deal" so they couldn't turn out down despite knowing it was our move weekend and booked last week!

I wasn't expecting them to help with the actual move, but seriously.... It just feels like they couldn't give a shit and it's really upset me.

We've paid extra for our childminder to have DD2 today but she can only have her until 2pm. DM asked how things were going and I told her we had issues due to our local tip being closed and that we haven't got anywhere near enough done today and instead of offering to have DDs for an hour she just replied with "Oh well, just have to work with what you've got. It will all come together"

Am I being completely unreasonable?

We’ve never ever had relatives help us with removals. Not packing, not babysitting. It’s your move, not theirs. Why would they want to spend their holiday dealing with it? Not trying to be mean, I just don’t see why they should sacrifice their holiday time to help you with something that most people just get on with by themselves. Not sure why you are angry! Disappointed, perhaps, or miffed that nobody wants to help, but you aren’t entitled to it.

Just saw you’d said anger wasn’t the right word. Anyway, hopefully you are able to understand from their side why they didn’t really want to be involved with something stressful in their own holiday time.

@Thwackit
I would if it was my children or parents , or dear friend - cos that what you do when you love people.
Anyway I hope you understand I would actually help people I love , even it was stressful ( but more so for the people moving)

I’m going to guess they already do or have done the bulk of your childcare

That's what I guessed. Fed up of being put upon.

* I'm really glad I'm not part of some posters' families. YANBU OP. In most families parents and siblings want to help out in this sort of situation.*

^This. Mumsnet is weird.

@BlueTouchPaper

I’m going to guess they already do or have done the bulk of your childcare

That's what I guessed. Fed up of being put upon.

Then you haven't read the thread.

Why are so many being harsh with OP? In my family we help each other out. That’s what decent human beings do. I’m sorry that so many of you have families that don’t give a .

Congratulations on your new home!

I would be hurt they hadn’t acknowledged you had moved in that’s shitty. Unless they were asked first and well in advance it’s understandable they said no if they had plans. If your mum had agreed to have the kids on Saturday and then booked a holiday and you had to scramble for childcare. Or if your dad had agreed to do tip runs on a specific day and cancelled for breakfast then yeah I would be pissed.
But I wouldn’t expect people to keep every day free in the run up to a move just in case they were needed.
Mumsnet is weird though about anyone needing any form of help for anything, which is sad.
My friends moved last week, a few weeks before they asked if I could have their little girl for a sleepover on moving day. I didn’t hesitate and they would do the same.