Stranger touching baby's face

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I was on a packed bus today and saw a man standing near the doors who kept looking at my baby in her pushchair. When people got off of the bus he came and stood near the pushchair. He took out his headphones and said 'how old is she?' and smiled. I said '6 months' he said 'aw she reminds me of my granddaughter.' I just smiled and nodded my head. He started waving to my daughter and kept on saying hi. He then stroked/touched her hand to get her attention whilst say hi. I said 'don't touch her please' and he replied 'oh yeah of course, Covid and that.'
I just got a wipe out and wiped her hand to clean it.

I'm all for people being polite to my daughter and trying to get her attention. On the same bus, a woman sitting next to me was waving to my daughter whilst saying hi to her. Of course I have no problem with this.

But a stranger touching my baby whether it's on her hand or her face, what's that all about? I would never touch a baby I didn't know on their hand (or anywhere else) especially a baby I've just come across on the bus.
If a stranger came up to me making conversation, they wouldn't touch me on my hand (unless they're a creep) so why do it to a baby? I was so confused for the rest of the bus journey and both my mum and DP were somewhat shocked when I told them too.

I've seen similar threads on this recently and people tend to say the OP is overreacting. If you think I'm being unreasonable, can you explain why you think it's okay for a complete stranger to put their hands on a baby they don't know at all?

Modern society rules decree that it's not okay. But we are in fact social animals who are naturally drawn to the infants of our species and find them delightful. I suppose that sometimes some individuals get a bit carried away. I'm sure no harm is meant

Seriously get a grip, he was just being nice.

I don't think it's unreasonable to not want people to touch your baby, but equally you don't have to make them feel bad if they do. You have every right to have your boundaries, but generally children bring joy to people, you're also on a slippery slope to teaching your child how to be anxious.
I wouldn't like a stranger touching my child on a bus like that, but equally I wouldn't make them feel like crap for doing so as it's likely they are just being friendly.

Seriously?????

I wouldn't have minded at all. I'd be happy for my children to learn that strangers are (mostly) kind.

'If you think I'm being unreasonable, can you explain why you think it's okay for a complete stranger to put their hands on a baby they don't know at all?'

Because someone very gently touching a baby on the hand when they are being lovely to them is actually quite sweet.

@ISpyCobraKai

Seriously get a grip, he was just being nice.

I never said he wasn't being nice. However you can be nice without putting your hand on a baby you don't know...

Another one of these threads, we must get treated to these once a week.
My daughter gets adored in the supermarket, particularly by elderly folk. Imagine the heartbreak to tell them don't touch her hand.. People who are just being kind a friendly.
I'm guessing this is your first child?

I am drawn to babies, I have to stop myself playing with them, talking to them, touching them unless they are known and I have permission. It's not hard to believe that someone who might be a little lonely would forget to stop themselves. I had some lovely conversations with older people when mine were babies. Sometimes they wanted to leave money in the pram, sometimes it was bitter sweet e.g. they they told me how their grandchildren live in Australia so they rarely see them, or that sad such as they never had children of their own. Be kind, it's highly unlikely a single touch will pass on a fatal disease.

I was in a cafe once and the waitress asked for a cuddle with DD. Crack on love, I'll eat my pasta😜

Get a grip.

I can see why you don’t want a stranger touching your babies hand at the moment; as your baby is then likely to put their hand in their mouth.

I hate this too, OP – I’ve had a fag-scented claw-hand pinching her cheek, all sorts of germy randoms touching her with their grimy fingernails on display, and always think “You wouldn’t touch MY face, why do you think she’s fair game? She’s got the right not to be touched by strangers too”.

But! I’ve read 8,000 of these threads on MN and they always end up with 900 pages of vitriolic frothing accusing you of being an antisocial germaphobe Boo Radley PFB syndrome with extreme anxiety, so… good luck.

Unclench

What do you think will happen as a result of her hand being touched?

I know what you mean OP, this happened to me. I was having coffee with a friend with my 3 month old DD was in her pram and the waitress serving us was cooing over her and kept holding her hand and getting in her face saying things like "oh aren't you beautiful".
It did make me feel uncomfortable to be honest but I know she was just being nice and wanted to make my DD smile. I didn't say anything, I just made an excuse about needing to change her and took her out of the situation. YANBU in my opinion but I don't think the man was either.

Totally agree OP. It seems sensible to be a little cautious during a pandemic? It’s also the time of year for all sorts of bugs, seems best to limit the chances of babies becoming unwell?

Both of my children were born prematurely, and we had to be so careful of germs when they were really little. People are weird. I’d never touch a baby, you can easily say hello without putting your (probably unclean) hands on a baby?!?

YANBU

People can coo over a baby without touching them especially their face. I had my son in a car seat while at the grocery store and he was content and on his way to sleep. I reached to pick something up and he started crying. I looked over and there was some woman stroking his face. Didn’t ask, didn’t hear her approach, heck, the aisle had been empty when I stopped. She apologised and I just nodded because I was in shock that someone had the gall to touch a stranger’s child without even asking the parent who is right there and why the face? Call me precious but it’s rude and I have no idea where their hands have been.

I was so confused for the rest of the bus journey

Really?

Oh god not another one of these threads. How dare the germ-ridden man go anywhere near your baby. Good job you had your wipes with you

That wouldn't bother me.
When dd2 was a newborn I took her to my mums care home.
The resident's face's when they saw her was something else. They all had a hold of her. I was always happy for people to talk and touch my dd's.

@ParkheadParadise

Was this during a pandemic after 18 months of being told to socially distance or risk
Death?

@ParkheadParadise

That wouldn't bother me. When dd2 was a newborn I took her to my mums care home. The resident's face's when they saw her was something else. They all had a hold of her. I was always happy for people to talk and touch my dd's.

This is absolutely beautiful xx

@ParkheadParadise

That wouldn't bother me. When dd2 was a newborn I took her to my mums care home. The resident's face's when they saw her was something else. They all had a hold of her. I was always happy for people to talk and touch my dd's.

That is lovely ❤️

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@ParkheadParadise

Was this during a pandemic after 18 months of being told to socially distance or risk
Death?[/quote]
No, as there was no visiting care homes during the pandemic.

If I had a Newborn now I wouldn't stop a stranger talking or touching them. What exactly do you think will happen?

Imagine the heartbreak to tell them don't touch her hand..

Maybe just keep your hands to yourselves?
It's not hard at all