Stranger touching baby's face

[videovixen]

I was on a packed bus today and saw a man standing near the doors who kept looking at my baby in her pushchair. When people got off of the bus he came and stood near the pushchair. He took out his headphones and said 'how old is she?' and smiled. I said '6 months' he said 'aw she reminds me of my granddaughter.' I just smiled and nodded my head. He started waving to my daughter and kept on saying hi. He then stroked/touched her hand to get her attention whilst say hi. I said 'don't touch her please' and he replied 'oh yeah of course, Covid and that.'
I just got a wipe out and wiped her hand to clean it.

I'm all for people being polite to my daughter and trying to get her attention. On the same bus, a woman sitting next to me was waving to my daughter whilst saying hi to her. Of course I have no problem with this.

But a stranger touching my baby whether it's on her hand or her face, what's that all about? I would never touch a baby I didn't know on their hand (or anywhere else) especially a baby I've just come across on the bus.
If a stranger came up to me making conversation, they wouldn't touch me on my hand (unless they're a creep) so why do it to a baby? I was so confused for the rest of the bus journey and both my mum and DP were somewhat shocked when I told them too.

I've seen similar threads on this recently and people tend to say the OP is overreacting. If you think I'm being unreasonable, can you explain why you think it's okay for a complete stranger to put their hands on a baby they don't know at all?

@Staryflight445

Of course it is when strangers are holding babies hands, kissing them etc and people like you on forums stick up for this sort of behaviour *@BlaBlaSmthSmth*

Nobody has any right to be touching/kissing anyone’s child without their permission. It is not part of everyday interaction to either ffs. A smile is enough, there’s no need to touch.

This part especially It is not part of everyday interaction to either ffs. A smile is enough, there’s no need to touch

It literally isn't part of everyday interaction. I'm so tired of trying to explain myself so thank you for this😂

Maybe some of us have just experienced being unable to just simply just go shopping without feeling constantly harassed just because we have a baby with us.
@BlaBlaSmthSmth

No one is sounding childish at all. Unwanted attention is horrible, and I extend this to my child.
I smile, am polite but having people who don’t get the hint in your child’s face and them being increasingly uncomfortable with these interactions, it does get extremely tiresome.

@Staryflight445

Of course it is when strangers are holding babies hands, kissing them etc and people like you on forums stick up for this sort of behaviour *@BlaBlaSmthSmth*

Nobody has any right to be touching/kissing anyone’s child without their permission. It is not part of everyday interaction to either ffs. A smile is enough, there’s no need to touch.

Who is talking about peoples rights here? It is a completely normal occurrence, you don't like it, so what 🤷‍♀️ People have passing physical contact all the time, it's normal and happens all the time.

If you and a few others don't like it fine, but aiming abuse and insults at people who are doing nothing out of the ordinary is completely unacceptable.

@Tonyschoco

Are you pregnant again, OP?

You know I am because you've searched up my name so why are you actually asking me pointless questions @Tonyschoco

I can only imagine that the type of people that enjoy these interactions generally love themselves and like the attention of having a baby/ think their baby is the best baby ever etc.
I personally don’t need to feel validated by random strangers being in my face/ touching my child.

The mockery to those that hate these unwanted interactions is really bizarre. @videovixen

It literally isn't part of everyday interaction. I'm so tired of trying to explain myself so thank you for this😂

Maybe reason you feel like you have to keep repeating yourself is that you aren't grasping what is being said to you 😂

passing physical contact is a completely normal part of everyday interaction.

@ISpyCobraKai

Seriously get a grip, he was just being nice.

He can be nice without touching her baby.

The same way someone can be nice without touching an adult.

I was on a train with DS when he was a baby and a random woman in the aisle asked if she could hold him… no.

Babies aren’t pets to be fondled. He doesn’t know you, he doesn’t need to be touched by you. Gladly say hello, gladly ask questions/pull faces/wave, whatever but don’t touch my kid.

My friend’s daughter was in the neonatal unit for five months and its a miracle she survived. She was discharged with a feeding tube in her nose. The amount of people who would try and touch it and did touch it is staggering.

Babies can be clinically vulnerable, babies ARE clinically vulnerable. Babies have a right to autonomy not to be touched or grabbed or held by people they don’t know.

I always remember the adage that all hands have either held a penis or touched a hand that’s held a penis.

This old man has come to touch OP’s little baby possible after just going for a wee and not washing his hands, after coughing into his hand, after stroking a dirty pet, after touching something dirty in public, after doing god knows what.

Let’s normalise not touching strangers regardless of age.

OP, rain covers are your friend. All day, every day.

Funny how I’m the abusive and insulting one for simply not enjoying strangers making my children feel uncomfortable by getting in their faces/ touching them when that’s unwanted.
@BlaBlaSmthSmth

It really isn’t a normal occurrence to force interaction with a baby/toddler. I wouldn’t even stroke someone’s puppy in the street if I saw it. It’s called respect and self control, don’t normalise this and disrespect those who have boundary’s and tolerance, thanks.

‘ passing physical contact is a completely normal part of everyday interaction.’

Unwanted physical contact is not a normal part of every day interaction, and shouldn’t be minimised by weirdos that try and make this sound normal.

I went to a party once with my daughter and the hosts mum (who id never met before) tried to take my daughter from me as soon as I entered the property, I find this so unbelievably weird. I was told ‘she lovessss babies!’. Babies aren’t toys. It’s so bloody creepy. @Arethechildreninbedyet it’s funny how you get to the age of about 3-4 and no one does it anymore. All interest is lost.

Love the PFB comments. I think your tolerance to it gets less and less with each child.

If people do this to my third I wont beat around the bush. My child’s comfort comes waaay before a strangers feelings.

@Staryflight445

Maybe some of us have just experienced being unable to just simply just go shopping without feeling constantly harassed just because we have a baby with us. *@BlaBlaSmthSmth*

No one is sounding childish at all. Unwanted attention is horrible, and I extend this to my child.
I smile, am polite but having people who don’t get the hint in your child’s face and them being increasingly uncomfortable with these interactions, it does get extremely tiresome.

Really? Constantly harassed? Jesus, why can't you have a conversation about something without hyping it up to an absurd extent?

No one is saying people should be forced into unwanted interactions, I am saying that passing interactions are completely normal and you not wanting to participate is one thing but pretending to be confused about it is ridiculous and fucking slagging the poor guy off to whoever will listen and having people pile in to call him names is out of order.

Without consent it is forced, funnily enough @BlaBlaSmthSmth

I never said this guy was a weirdo. It is weird to justify such behaviour though.

Genuine question.

Hands up who would like to be touched by stranger being nice?

Not even groped. Hand kissed? Hand held?

And yes really, when you’re trying to just do your shopping and all the elderly people you pass keep stopping you to peer into your pushchair and have a chat.

Like, come on. These interactions get tiresome when you’re busy and have things to get on with.

@Staryflight445

I can only imagine that the type of people that enjoy these interactions generally love themselves and like the attention of having a baby/ think their baby is the best baby ever etc. I personally don’t need to feel validated by random strangers being in my face/ touching my child.

The mockery to those that hate these unwanted interactions is really bizarre. @videovixen

As I said early in the thread, I have had severe social anxiety and I find attention excruciating however I love seeing my baby interact with other people, it's such a joy.

The issue isn't that the interaction was unwanted, I myself have avoided many many interactions over the years..the issue is the judgment being placed on this man for doing something completely normal.

I don’t understand this logic of many of us saying we don’t like people touching our children/ forcing conversation as it makes us feel uncomfortable

And people laughing at us and saying we are the problem?

Not all babies enjoy this interaction though @BlaBlaSmthSmth.
If your baby became frightened would you still enjoy it then?

@Staryflight445

Funny how I’m the abusive and insulting one for simply not enjoying strangers making my children feel uncomfortable by getting in their faces/ touching them when that’s unwanted. *@BlaBlaSmthSmth*

It really isn’t a normal occurrence to force interaction with a baby/toddler. I wouldn’t even stroke someone’s puppy in the street if I saw it. It’s called respect and self control, don’t normalise this and disrespect those who have boundary’s and tolerance, thanks.

Omg 🤦‍♀️ 🤣 the issue isn't that someone doesn't want an interaction. Jesus it's the mockery and the ridiculous language being used to describe this poor man. "Weirdo" "pawing at" and now "fondling" 🤣 If you genuinely have a problem and think it's completely reasonable, why the need to repeatedly amp up the language? It's to make other we people seem unreasonable and it's pathetic.

You know I am because you've searched up my name so why are you actually asking me pointless questions @Tonyschoco**

I didn’t know actually, I wasn’t sure if your other thread was about the baby you have now. So I asked. anyway, I just wondered if that might be making you more vigilant/territorial than normal, that was all.

But for me, as I had my baby in the first lockdown-proper, there was literally nowhere I could go, no groups, no shops, no cafes, no health visitors, no GP appointments face-to-face, so for me, those little interactions with strangers where they showed interest in my baby were wonderful. I liked showing him off because I had literally nowhere to go.

I think that it's up to the parent how they want to react. The situation described wouldn't personally bother me but I couldn't personally put myself in the shoes of the parent in question.

Glad you find a serious issue with society amusing.

Perhaps if your child hated these interactions you’d understand the issue with it.
Or if you’re a parent that’s had a child become ill because of this too.

We teach our kids to keep their hands to themselves, it’s a shame these adults can’t do the same.

@Staryflight445

Without consent it is forced, funnily enough *@BlaBlaSmthSmth*

I never said this guy was a weirdo. It is weird to justify such behaviour though.

You're doing nothing to further the discussion around consent and tbh it's pretty fucking disgusting to bring something like that into this petty shit.

The poor guy has been called a weirdo on this thread and I'm not defending a behaviour, there is nothing to defend. I am saying step back from social interactions all you want (I will too) but that is your issue do not accuse strangers of all sorts, it is your issue not theirs.

I always remember the adage that all hands have either held a penis or touched a hand that’s held a penis.

Adage?!?! 😂😂😂

It really isn’t disgusting to say that without consent these interactions are forced. Some kids become terrified of strangers because of these interactions, it isn’t fair, or wanted.

No one has a right to touch anyone else, adult or child and it’s disgusting to think otherwise.

As I stated before, I never called this man weird. But let’s face it, many of these unwanted interactions are strange and some people are a bit weird. Such a shame you find that more offensive than people touching children without consent.

@Staryflight445

Not all babies enjoy this interaction though *@BlaBlaSmthSmth*. If your baby became frightened would you still enjoy it then?

I would say something like "oh he doesn't seem to be in the mood for socialising today" or whatever..again, a completely normal interaction. It's not a big deal, and I certainly wouldn't be pretending that the poor person had done something wrong. Like I said, social anxiety here and I ruminate a lot about interactions I've had, but that is my issue, no one else's.