Stranger touching baby's face

[videovixen]

I was on a packed bus today and saw a man standing near the doors who kept looking at my baby in her pushchair. When people got off of the bus he came and stood near the pushchair. He took out his headphones and said 'how old is she?' and smiled. I said '6 months' he said 'aw she reminds me of my granddaughter.' I just smiled and nodded my head. He started waving to my daughter and kept on saying hi. He then stroked/touched her hand to get her attention whilst say hi. I said 'don't touch her please' and he replied 'oh yeah of course, Covid and that.'
I just got a wipe out and wiped her hand to clean it.

I'm all for people being polite to my daughter and trying to get her attention. On the same bus, a woman sitting next to me was waving to my daughter whilst saying hi to her. Of course I have no problem with this.

But a stranger touching my baby whether it's on her hand or her face, what's that all about? I would never touch a baby I didn't know on their hand (or anywhere else) especially a baby I've just come across on the bus.
If a stranger came up to me making conversation, they wouldn't touch me on my hand (unless they're a creep) so why do it to a baby? I was so confused for the rest of the bus journey and both my mum and DP were somewhat shocked when I told them too.

I've seen similar threads on this recently and people tend to say the OP is overreacting. If you think I'm being unreasonable, can you explain why you think it's okay for a complete stranger to put their hands on a baby they don't know at all?

@videovixen

What is not on is to pretend to be shocked and confused and to invite other people to insult someone who was doing something completely normal

Who was pretending to be shocked?
Wtf are you actually talking about.

I haven't invited anyone to come and insult him. Rather I've asked people if I'm being U then can someone explain why it's okay to touch a strangers baby who they don't know at all. If others have insulted him, that's their own choice

So you didn't go home and retell the story to your husband and mother and all of Mumsnet as if something extraordinary had happened? Ok 😅

And yes you asked for opinions and I gave one 🤷‍♀️
If other posters are going to misrepresent what I've said, of course I'm going to come back and clarify..you may call that yapping but TBH OP I could not GAF what your opinion of me is.

Do you control what I tell people?😭
I tell DP and my mum the littlest of things and even if I didn't, I can tell them if I wanted too. I came on MN because I wanted too, it's really that simple

And I responded. It's really that simple 🤷‍♀️

As for control what you say? What?

I’m really not uptight or fearful but can still acknowledge that touching random babies is not acceptable or something I have to tolerate, thanks.

Good for you. Call the police next time a friendly person even smiles at your chid for all I care, but don’t be surprised if your kid grows up to be as anxious as you. You’re welcome.

I wouldn’t have been keen on it but sometimes it’s just a reflex to touch a little baby’s hand or cheek. They’re kind of designed in that way to be cute and cuddly.
When I take my dd in the pram on school pick up lots of kids crowd around trying to touch her. It’s cute but at the same time I do always have the wet wipes handy

No I wouldn't be bothered OP..... at all.

I really thought this would be something that bothered me when I had a baby. But honestly I bloody love people loving him. He's amazing and everytime someone coos over him I'm just like "Yeah I made him ☺"

It has nothing to do with being anxious @PinkSyCo

And as I’ve already stated, this created anxiety in one of my kids.

I never minded strangers going gooey or touching my kids when they were babies, if it brightened their day then no harm done. However I DID have a problem when whilst waiting for my husband outside some public toilets with my 4 week old daughter on holiday, the cleaner came out and whilst I was fine with her cooing over her, she then proceeded to take her out of my arms for a cuddle. Boundary definitely crossed there.

PFB perchance?

I always find reactions to these type of posts so weird. I don't think you're unreasonable for not wanting a stranger to touch your baby (especially at the moment). I would never touch a baby's hand or face without permission especially a stranger's. I dont think you did anything wrong by reminding the man not to touch.

What is not on is to pretend to be shocked and confused

Yep I’m confused and surprised ( note not quite shocked, but getting there) that OP is soo confused and her family shocked when people have supposedly touched her baby on previous occasions. I mean, come on.

Staryflight445 Your child must be very special indeed if you can’t go out of the door without being constantly stopped by passers by clamouring to touch your baby? Is his name Jesus by any chance?

It’s happened with both of my children @PinkSyCo

And let’s face it whilst we’re at it, no my child isn’t special, people who do this don’t care what the baby looks like, it’s just a baby and they just HAVE TO poke their nose in.

@PinkSyCo

Staryflight445 Your child must be very special indeed if you can’t go out of the door without being constantly stopped by passers by clamouring to touch your baby? Is his name Jesus by any chance?

😂😂😂

Hahaaha.
We all know that doesn't happen.
Just someone exaggerating.

It’s happened with both of my children @PinkSyCo**

Wow I am shocked and confused! Do you reside in a land with an exceptionally low birth rate?……Like Gilead?

It’s not sweet - it’s an invasion of privacy and potentially dangerous to the baby.

I get that in the past in most cultures touching or even kissing a strangers baby was a nice thing to do. But it’s 2022, post covid and total strangers have absolutely no right to just start touching someone’s children just because they feel like it.

politely ask if someone minds or keep your distance. Don’t take it into your own hands to start touching other people because it’s what you want.

It’s about asking.

I appreciate people like to hold/touch babies but you can’t decide on a parents behalf that you are going to touch their child. The parent decides.

ask first. You might get a yea, you might not. But it’s not on the decision of the stranger to just start touching away maybe in a split second where the parent doesn’t notice and then it’s too late. You might have crossed a boundary that particular parent isn’t happy with.

the fault is entirely on a stranger doing this without engaging their brain first

I should imagine OP is over it after thirteen months.

I don't have an issue with it. It's nice to see people wanting to talk to my baby and to be fair my baby often teaches out to get other peoples attentio. It's for this reason you can be on a bus , struggling to fold a pram and none will offer to hold the baby. I've been in this situation and had to ask for help. The person I asked did so gladly but she said she was reluctant to ask me because people get annoyed if you touch their child.

I've had kids fall in front of me at baby class and my instinct is to help them up but been unsure because some mums would be annoyed by you touching their child. Thankfully at the local class I go to people will scoop up my dd without a second thought and other peoples kids.

You feel as you do and so that's fine.

I'd imagine the baby is pretty used to all sorts of germs by now and no doubt putting everything in her mouth as this thread is over a year old.