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AIBU?

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Original poster

Stranger touching baby's face

223 replies

videovixen · 19/11/2021 19:49

I was on a packed bus today and saw a man standing near the doors who kept looking at my baby in her pushchair. When people got off of the bus he came and stood near the pushchair. He took out his headphones and said 'how old is she?' and smiled. I said '6 months' he said 'aw she reminds me of my granddaughter.' I just smiled and nodded my head. He started waving to my daughter and kept on saying hi. He then stroked/touched her hand to get her attention whilst say hi. I said 'don't touch her please' and he replied 'oh yeah of course, Covid and that.'
I just got a wipe out and wiped her hand to clean it.

I'm all for people being polite to my daughter and trying to get her attention. On the same bus, a woman sitting next to me was waving to my daughter whilst saying hi to her. Of course I have no problem with this.

But a stranger touching my baby whether it's on her hand or her face, what's that all about?Confused I would never touch a baby I didn't know on their hand (or anywhere else) especially a baby I've just come across on the bus.
If a stranger came up to me making conversation, they wouldn't touch me on my hand (unless they're a creep) so why do it to a baby? I was so confused for the rest of the bus journey and both my mum and DP were somewhat shocked when I told them too.

I've seen similar threads on this recently and people tend to say the OP is overreacting. If you think I'm being unreasonable, can you explain why you think it's okay for a complete stranger to put their hands on a baby they don't know at all?

OP posts:
BlaBlaSmthSmth · 19/11/2021 20:43

Why do people on these threads always compare the way we interact with a baby to how we interact with other adults? Saying variations of "you wouldn't hold my hand whilst talking to me so why do you think it's ok to touch my baby?"

Surely you understand that we don't interact with an adult the same way we would with a baby? ..because, you know, we're not babies. If someone came up to me cooing and holding my hand as if I were an infant I would be like WTFConfused

Original poster
videovixen · 19/11/2021 20:45

and always think “You wouldn’t touch MY face, why do you think she’s fair game? She’s got the right not to be touched by strangers too”.

This is literally my point. People keep saying 'they're being kind/friendly' etc. I never said he wasn't being kind or friendly. That's all good and well but no one would come up to me and just start touching my hand.
Why do it to a baby? I just find it strange

OP posts:
BlaBlaSmthSmth · 19/11/2021 20:47

@videovixen

Imagine the heartbreak to tell them don't touch her hand..

Maybe just keep your hands to yourselves?
It's not hard at all

You can't control every interaction you have with other people. Physical contact with other people in every day life is completely normal.
BlaBlaSmthSmth · 19/11/2021 20:48

@videovixen

and always think “You wouldn’t touch MY face, why do you think she’s fair game? She’s got the right not to be touched by strangers too”.

This is literally my point. People keep saying 'they're being kind/friendly' etc. I never said he wasn't being kind or friendly. That's all good and well but no one would come up to me and just start touching my hand.
Why do it to a baby? I just find it strange

Because you're not a baby Confused people don't talk to you the same way they would a baby. You know this, surely.
Voord · 19/11/2021 20:49

I probably prefer it if they didn’t but I can’t get worked up about this stuff. He was just being friendly.

DappledThings · 19/11/2021 20:50

@Sayke

Unclench
Yep. This is all that needs to be said!
ParkheadParadise · 19/11/2021 20:51

When my dd's were babies STRANGERS put money in their prams and touched their hands. 😛😛😛

Original poster
videovixen · 19/11/2021 20:52

Also for the people saying what do I think will happen or saying it's unlikely a single touch will pass on a fatal disease.

It's not about that at all.
It's about people not keeping their hands to themselves. Babies bring joy and that's totally understandable but people should be able to have some self control when it comes to touching babies they don't know.
Some people may not have any problem with someone touching their baby and that's great for you. Others may not

OP posts:
LettertoHermoine · 19/11/2021 20:52

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IAmMeThisIsI · 19/11/2021 20:57

Alright, so germs aren't the problem.

You didn't think the guy was the problem.

You're not worried about Covid being the problem.

What IS your problem?

Do you think people should get consent?

And IF germs/Covid wasn't the issue then why did you wet wipe your baby's hand after?

ParkheadParadise · 19/11/2021 20:57

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BlaBlaSmthSmth · 19/11/2021 20:58

All good questions @IAmMeThisIsI

Clymene · 19/11/2021 20:59

Honestly, you sound utterly barking. He touched the back of her hand.

Go and see your GP. Your anxiety is not normal.

Pebbledashery · 19/11/2021 21:00

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Piglet89 · 19/11/2021 21:00

Why have you entitled your thread “stranger touching baby’s face” when, from what I read of your OP, he touched her hand?

lovescaca · 19/11/2021 21:00

So he didn't touch her face? Why does the title say so?

Clymene · 19/11/2021 21:00

And why is your thread titled 'stranger touching baby's face' when he touched her hand? Confused

TabithaTumbler · 19/11/2021 21:03

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MrsSkylerWhite · 19/11/2021 21:06

Maybe he hasn’t been able to see his own grandchild? (My elderly parents haven’t yet met our grandson because of Covid concern).
That doesn’t make it right or wrong but is possibly an explanation?

hotmeatymilk · 19/11/2021 21:07

Ah, so OP’s baby is like grandchild vape?

Original poster
videovixen · 19/11/2021 21:09

@IAmMeThisIsI

Alright, so germs aren't the problem.

You didn't think the guy was the problem.

You're not worried about Covid being the problem.

What IS your problem?

Do you think people should get consent?

And IF germs/Covid wasn't the issue then why did you wet wipe your baby's hand after?

I've said multiple times that people should have enough self control to keep their hands to themselves. That's literally what it's about.
I definitely think if people want to touch a strangers baby they could at least ask the parents but clearly people will do what they want.

I wiped her hand because she's teething so her hands are forever in and out of her mouth. Never know what germs she can pick up from anywhere so I just wiped her hand in case.

My reasoning for not wanting strangers to touch my baby's face isn't solely because of germs more so because I think it's unnecessary but I guess germs is a factor now it's been mentioned

OP posts:
ImustLearn2Cook · 19/11/2021 21:09

@videovixen Society has changed in what is deemed appropriate. It has been thought of as a positive to interact with babies and children, including touching their hand or face or even cuddling. It has been seen as: it takes a village to raise a child.

Often as we get older it gets harder for us to keep up with changing values in society.

If there is no harm done, no real threat then is it really that hard to just let it slide and understand that this man is from a different generation when it was thought to be good for babies to have lots of love from their surrounding community?

Peahead321 · 19/11/2021 21:09

Honestly I could not care less. I am so blessed to not be hysterical about things like this.

Original poster
videovixen · 19/11/2021 21:10

@Piglet89

Why have you entitled your thread “stranger touching baby’s face” when, from what I read of your OP, he touched her hand?
I didn't even realise that. Simple mistake made in the title, no other reason. It obviously should say hand
OP posts:
Original poster
videovixen · 19/11/2021 21:11

@Clymene

Honestly, you sound utterly barking. He touched the back of her hand.

Go and see your GP. Your anxiety is not normal.

Nothing to do with anxiety luv
OP posts:
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