Stranger touching baby's face

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I was on a packed bus today and saw a man standing near the doors who kept looking at my baby in her pushchair. When people got off of the bus he came and stood near the pushchair. He took out his headphones and said 'how old is she?' and smiled. I said '6 months' he said 'aw she reminds me of my granddaughter.' I just smiled and nodded my head. He started waving to my daughter and kept on saying hi. He then stroked/touched her hand to get her attention whilst say hi. I said 'don't touch her please' and he replied 'oh yeah of course, Covid and that.'
I just got a wipe out and wiped her hand to clean it.

I'm all for people being polite to my daughter and trying to get her attention. On the same bus, a woman sitting next to me was waving to my daughter whilst saying hi to her. Of course I have no problem with this.

But a stranger touching my baby whether it's on her hand or her face, what's that all about? I would never touch a baby I didn't know on their hand (or anywhere else) especially a baby I've just come across on the bus.
If a stranger came up to me making conversation, they wouldn't touch me on my hand (unless they're a creep) so why do it to a baby? I was so confused for the rest of the bus journey and both my mum and DP were somewhat shocked when I told them too.

I've seen similar threads on this recently and people tend to say the OP is overreacting. If you think I'm being unreasonable, can you explain why you think it's okay for a complete stranger to put their hands on a baby they don't know at all?

I really don't understand some people. He shouldn't have touched the baby! YANBU. People should stop going around stroking and touching babies they don't know. Covid or no covid. Touching babies shouldn't be encouraged.

I don't want anyone touching my children without my, or their, consent. YANBU OP, I wouldn't be happy about this either.

So, what I mean is that him touching your baby’s hand was not from a lack of self control nor for a lack of respect for you or your baby.

He probably saw it as being a positive and caring thing to do. Something that in the past was socially acceptable and valued.

If your title was just an overlook why did you also bring it up in your reply to me? You went as far as to say the baby's hands may have had germs on/baby is teething. Yet you keep bringing the child's face into it in your reply to me as well. Just wondering.

I love old people, I care about my community and I let them interact with my baby. My baby will not die because an old person touched her.

@IAmMeThisIsI

If your title was just an overlook why did you also bring it up in your reply to me? You went as far as to say the baby's hands may have had germs on/baby is teething. Yet you keep bringing the child's face into it in your reply to me as well. Just wondering.

Ffs I just read back on my reply to you. I'm so used to having conversations about people touching my baby's face without asking (that's also happened to my her) that I'm just writing it automatically🤦‍♀️ I certainly meant to say my baby's hand and not my baby's face. Apologies

I felt exactly like this with my first, long before covid. I've had my second not too long ago and even with covid now, I'm not as worried and don't mind people touching his hand/top of his head, just not keen on strangers touching his face.
That said, it's about personal preference and if you ask someone not to touch your baby, they shouldn't. I wouldn't have taken a wipe out immediately though, that'll only have served to make him feel bad and realistically won't have much effect anyway as baby wipes (AFAIK) aren't antibacterial.

@bakingdemon

I don't want anyone touching my children without my, or their, consent. YANBU OP, I wouldn't be happy about this either.

You can't expect to give consent to every passing physical contact with people. That's just madness. It's a completely normal part of every day life. I have suffered social anxiety all my adult life with many periods that I couldn't leave the house, and even I cannot count the amount of times someone has touched me in passing while we talk. Touched my arm, my shoulder...even my hair shortly after a haircut. Someone holding a babies hand is akin to that type of interaction.

Also it's not just generational I am not from an older generation and I loved it when people were lovely with my baby..particularly holidays in Spain where they were very friendly and affectionate. It's lovely.

I didn't like strangers touching my babies unless they asked first, but that's because I have health anxiety issues, OCD and probably other stuff going on! But, I recognise that I'm uptight and irrational.
You clearly don't believe yabu, so trot along.

@VladmirsPoutine

I really don't understand some people. He shouldn't have touched the baby! YANBU. People should stop going around stroking and touching babies they don't know. Covid or no covid. Touching babies shouldn't be encouraged.

I'm West Indian and I'm starting to think this may just be a culture thing. In my family we were all raised not to touch a baby on their face or kiss them on their lips even if they were our family members. We were also taught to keep our hands to ourselves when around babies we didn't know very well. So I guess I just have that same expectation about strangers not touching my baby at all too🤷‍♀️

Nope, wouldn't like this either OP. Not my first baby either before anyone suggests "PFB". Just simply do not want a stranger's hands on my child, thanks.

I'm West Indian too, I can't fathom for the life of me just touching anyone's baby. Even things like accepting sweets from 'kind' strangers is a huge no no! It was only recently that many people discovered how to wash their hands properly yet some of them think they can go around caressing babies. Issa no from me.

I'm not West Indian, I'm White British, and I don't like it either. So culture doesn't explain it completely. I think it's perfectly acceptable not to want a stranger to make physical contact with your child.

@VladmirsPoutine

I'm West Indian too, I can't fathom for the life of me just touching anyone's baby. Even things like accepting sweets from 'kind' strangers is a huge no no! It was only recently that many people discovered how to wash their hands properly yet some of them think they can go around caressing babies. Issa no from me.

Exactly!! Maybe I have such expectations because I'd never do such a thing. And haha such a huge no no taking sweets from people!😂

Never mind talking and touching your babies hand.
When I was young my neighbours thought nothing of smacking our backside if we did something wrong. If we were stupid enough to tell my mum we got another smack on the arse before she would ask if we'd done anything 😂😂😄

Are you this overly anxious about everything?
You wiped your child's hand because a stranger stroked her. She will be picking up bugs eating dirt rolling around on the floor, no doubt she's peed in the bath and probably drank some of the water or god forbid a poo explosion and she gets some on her finger your don't see and it's gone in her mouth.

Jesus.

Really? You typed FACE when you meant HAND? That's not really a typo is it? You didn't just type it once though, you typed it twice.

He didn't touch your baby's face, he touched her hand.

It's weird to get so riled by this.

@VladmirsPoutine

I'm West Indian too, I can't fathom for the life of me just touching anyone's baby. Even things like accepting sweets from 'kind' strangers is a huge no no! It was only recently that many people discovered how to wash their hands properly yet some of them think they can go around caressing babies. Issa no from me.

And sweets is totally different. It's not a special cultural thing to teach children not to accept sweets from people they don't know

@Clymene You're right, it's not a 'special' cultural thing to teach kids not to accept sweets from people they don't know but I'm not sure how to word what the cultural aspect of it is without getting jumped on so I'll leave it at that

@Clymene

Really? You typed FACE when you meant HAND? That's not really a typo is it? You didn't just type it once though, you typed it twice.

He didn't touch your baby's face, he touched her hand.

It's weird to get so riled by this.

Why you so triggered hun😂

I know he touched my baby's hand and not her face. I already said it's automatic to just say my baby's face and I didn't even realise I wrote face once let alone twice

I'm not triggered. He touched your baby's hand. You said it was her face in your title to make it sound more dramatic.

He was an old man doing something perfectly normal thing. You were really rude in getting out your baby wipe like her has cooties.

It takes a village

It was only recently that many people discovered how to wash their hands properly

What?

Hmm idk OP. Typing "face" instead of "hand" twice because it happens so often? I'm not sure I believe you... I reckon your post is bogus. I don't think anyone touched your baby. Or, he touched the baby's hand and you wanted to make it sound more dramatic by saying it was the baby's face. You knew by saying it's just the hand and then actually wiping it off would look unreasonable, so you ramped it up to the baby's face. Just my opinion but you can't blame me after you did this twice.

@BlaBlaSmthSmth

It was only recently that many people discovered how to wash their hands properly

What?

Ha ha, makes you wonder how we all survived before doesn't it?! Thank goodness Boris showed us how to do it properly.