Not going mad on presents for the kids!

[30tanned]

Usually we go mad and buy the kids loads for Xmas they always have everything they want and more I will admit they are spoilt!

This year they all have their main presents and then my husband an I have agreed to buy a couple of smaller presents but try keep it to £150 budget for each child for the other bits after the main.
Obviously people know how expensive everything is so they won't have a pile like normal I feel like I am being a bad mum because we could afford to spend more but I am sick to death of them just throwing things an it never seeing the light of day again we just waste money because it's Christmas and we feel we should! The children don't appreciate it and don't play with it ( all believers so obvs we don't get the credit)

AIBU to not go mad on them? They are 10,9,6

Why would you want to buy more for children who don’t appreciate anything? I would make sure this year that they learn that lesson. Maybe pick out some small gifts together for a charity that give to disadvantaged children and explain to them how lucky they are to have a family that are able to give them a lovely Christmas.

I'm in the same boat OP. My boys are always very grateful but really they have more than they can possible need and I'm just bored of the whole thing. I just want to start scaling down the effort I have always put into Christmas. I'm not sure who I'm doing it for anymore. I just want to have a nice relaxing time without the ridiculous commercialism.

So you're currently spending £200-250 each on them and that's a cut from normal years, and they think Santa brings it all? No wonder they're ungrateful.

But no, Yanbu to reduce what you buy so you're not just buying for the sake of it

We don't even spend £150 for everything. We don't earn enough.

It's crazy to buy a main present then £150 more on other stuff. Honestly you would be better putting money into savings for them & then they will have enough for things when they're older.

Nor do we, I have never spent that much on anyone

Not unreasonable at all.
We always budget and I hate buying stuff just for the sake of more things to open, we have too much clutter as it is.

Is this a stealth boast '£150 per child after the main present' .

I have never spent that much on my DS (& we could afford to but prefer to put 'spare' money in savings for his future). And if your DC are so unappreciative why keep spending money?

It's sad that you feel you worth as a 'good mum' is based on what you spend.

Ours get so much from family we only ever buy a few things, one of which is from Santa.

Just get the things you know they want and will use.

As I get old and grumpy this whole concept of "a pile" is really starting to piss me off. I doubt it will even occur to them, and if it does you say "Father Christmas knows you haven't played with half of last year's presents yet".

On that note, I suspect the older two don't actually believe in FC. By now you should be able to get away with things like I did one January "here, Father Christmas told me to tell you he forgot these" (cue amused eyerolls).

"Only" £150 on "bits" after the main present ?

Have a

YANBU. We spend a lot more on our DC but they are incredibly grateful for everything and everything gets used. They’re also believers.
I wouldn’t be buying a lot for ungrateful children.

£150 plus a main present, for 3 children of those ages IS going pretty mad.
I think people lose perspective about these things.

I’d be more inclined to brand you a “bad mum” if you’re buying your DC too many things that are just wasteful. It’s your money. Do what you want with it.
Anyone who would say you’re a bad mum because you’re being more sensible needs to give their head a wobble.
This year, we’re doing something to read, wear, want, need. We could afford to buy much more but I’m very conscious of them not becoming materialistic but appreciate the important things in life more as they get bigger. Hopefully, by the time they’re teens, that tradition will be established.

We could afford to spend a similar amount on our dc but we don’t because it’s ridiculous! You’re going to end up with spoilt, entitled children

Yeah OP, you're terrible.

Just to clarify you are asking if you are being unreasonable to only buy your kids the gifts they will want and enjoy rather than lots of stuff they are not interested in?

Spend less and put the money you would of spent in savings for them when they’re older and appreciate money and you more!

Also I have to echo other posters £150 after main presents is nuts! No wonder they’re spoilt. I mean fair enough if you can afford it but it doesn’t really show them yen value of things if they just get endless expensive thing they don’t even touch. You will just perpetuate their spoilt behaviour

I can't imagine spending £150 per child at that age.....

Some people will struggle to put food on the table. Maybe thinking of them will focus your priorities a bit.

Maybe pick out some small gifts together for a charity that give to disadvantaged children and explain to them how lucky they are to have a family that are able to give them a lovely Christmas.

Fucking don't do this. For kids who have been given it all and more every other year, this will seem like an extreme swing the other direction and feel like a punishment to them. Not what you want young kids to associate with Christmas. There's a gentler way to introduce this.

YANBU to limit the presents this year compared to other years, whatever the budget but YABU to post this here because you'll be ripped to shreds, accused of boasting and told you're raising entitled brats. MNers can have a complex about parents who spend on their kids. Do what's right for your family.

🤯

You’ve blown my mind

I still think that’s quite a lot to be honest.

........Faints

One main present is enough! Anything extra for me would be maybe a book?.... don't get crappy toys to fill up your house

£150 PLUS a main present is already excessive imo. It won’t do them any harm not to get everything on their list.