Not going mad on presents for the kids!

[30tanned]

Usually we go mad and buy the kids loads for Xmas they always have everything they want and more I will admit they are spoilt!

This year they all have their main presents and then my husband an I have agreed to buy a couple of smaller presents but try keep it to £150 budget for each child for the other bits after the main.
Obviously people know how expensive everything is so they won't have a pile like normal I feel like I am being a bad mum because we could afford to spend more but I am sick to death of them just throwing things an it never seeing the light of day again we just waste money because it's Christmas and we feel we should! The children don't appreciate it and don't play with it ( all believers so obvs we don't get the credit)

AIBU to not go mad on them? They are 10,9,6

150 seems pretty standard to me

Only on mn would someone say if they won the lottery they would not spend 150 on their kids at christmas. 150 goes nowhere nowadays especially if you are buying lego etc. I budget and i hate piles of gifts but sheeeesh!

Wow that's alot. I don't think ever spent that much. Great idea not to go mad on present s as less to store.

This year we've gone for quality over quantity, I won't give figures as it's meaningless, but rather than presents for a pile we've thought of things they'd really like and use through the year. So we haven't reduced costs but numbers. I think it'll look different when they go downstairs (expectations will be managed) but I think they'll recognise they're getting things they will like more long term, not just for the initial fun of presents if that makes sense. Similar age to yours.

Totally agree, figures are meaningless. If someone wants to spend £1000 and someone wants to spend £100, it's up to them and they shouldn't be made to feel bad about it. I feel like this has turned into an OP bashing thread!

That said, OP, if you don't think they are appreciating it, maybe this year limit it and if they moan, just point out what lovely things they have and how some children don't have a lot, so make sure they look after what they have.

If you feel your budget is too high. Lower it and see what deals you can get... there is a wonderful thread on the Christmas group that helps with this.

Happy Christmas!

OP probably won't come back but ...

Why give Santa all the credit ? I've never let him bring everything . DD gets a small stocking and maybe 2 or 3 gifts from Santa and then the rest from us.

How much do you normally spend? £150 in total for a child seems quite reasonable to me.

Where are people shopping that they think £150 creates a massive pile of presents? board game, lego set, puzzle, book, nice onsie, soft toy, something for the bedroom like night light/ nice posters - £150 gone.
The people I know that claim to do Christmas for 50 quid including wrapping paper, when I go to their houses their kids have bikes, scooters, technology, bookshelves with board games/ puzzles/ boxed science experiments/ art stuff. These kids are getting stuff, just maybe not for Christmas. It's dishonest show faux shock and disgust that someone elses kid is given a big ticket item plus some games.

@Athomewiththehales89

We buy four presents, something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read and it’s enough and sets a standard of them knowing that’s what they will get so really appreciating and playing with the gifts they have

This is brilliant but can I add something to make/do as well? It's keeps them entertained on the day

Also, I know it's been mentioned before but FC shouldn't buy the big gift, when kids compare after the holidays, some kids will question why one kid got an iPad from FC and they got a small craft set.
We do stockings from FC. Everything else comes from us/family.

A friend got in a right mess with all gifts from FC and when they were older then they started questioning why parents/family didn't buy them presents and had to change and then they were confused about why FC didn't bring them as much anymore

The cost of the gifts are irrelevant, if you're buying stuff for the sake of it then it's just wasteful really!

It's probably not that they don't appreciate it but more that they're overwhelmed.

But yes @TangoWhiskyAlphaTango - I agree with you. Every year we have the "I spend £10 Vs I spend £1.5k so I'm better than you" argument. who actually cares?!

Just make sure the amount is the same for all
Why? Would you really spend the same on a 3 yr old as on a 13 yr old? If so, what is your rationale?

I don't understand how people spend so little unless they really cannot afford it. Under 5s you can get away with it as toys are cheaper but once you hit the tech years, 200quid doesn't get you very far!

My older 2 children have iPhones for mains ( nearly new phones on contract) so we haven't actually spent a massive amount in 1 lump sum before I get flamed for it and my little one a wooden toy shop.
The £150 would be for everything else so stockings, few smaller toys ,Lego sets ,pjs , I would get the older 2 a pair of trainers etc but of course it will not look much for my older dc as iPhones are the main present and very expensive!
I don't think £150 is unimaginable like some have said and no it wasn't a bragging post it was a post asking if I was being unreasonable to cut back on presents as they don't appreciate it. I know the phones will be greatly appreciated as they have wanted them for awhile so thanks for those who answered I will not be going mad like usual I will get a couple of smaller gifts each and use the money wisely only things they will actually enjoy/ use.
Thanks all x

What I would do in this situation is maybe prepare them for less. I'd be the same worried they wld be disappointed so you need to come with either the proper reason or a made up one. If they know to expect less than usual then I wld doubt they will be disappointed especially when they still getting iPhones and other gifts.

My DC are having a £150 each. Total. And that's going to be a struggle.

You can do whatever you like OP, why are you bleating about it on here seeking validation?

Agree £150 doesn’t get you far. My 4 year old was begging for a frozen Lego set & a baby annabel doll. That alone was like £80!

Best part of this thread is op actually falling for her 10 and 9 year old kids still believing in santa. Likely they don't, but they aren't going to say anything or they might get less presents. Kids aren't stupid, we all did this when we were younger. Kept the parents believing that we believed in santa and the tooth fairy.

Wise up op. They don't believe in santa, they have you believing they do.

I'm just shocked by a 9 and 10 year old a) getting a contract phone b) getting new-ish iPhones.

@30tanned I don't think you'd be unreasonable at all.

My 15yo has a £400 (second hand) DSLR camera and long shot lens, the full back catalogue of his favourite bands albums on CD (at his request), hobby related books, a couple of sensory fidgets and a fake oodie.

He'll use and appreciate all of it but compared to the 9yo, his pile looks tiny despite having spent almost 3x as much!

Should have posted on the Xmas board if you wanted helpful replies, OP. You are just going to get redirect anger here.

But YANBU. £150 doesn't get a massive pile of presents at that age - one computer game, a lego set and a jumper and it's mostly gone. But if these are on top of an iPhone, then that's a fantastic set of gifts for them, far more than most people get, and they are old enough to understand that they shouldn't expect more. But YANBU to want your kids to have a great Christmas.

I was behind 2 women in BM the other day and they both had trolleys full of plastic crap.

One paid £75 and the other just under £60.

So, taking off my judgy pants I thought that maybe they could be buying them for a charity/toy donation scheme etc, unitl I heard one of them say ""I've no idea if she will like it all but it makes the pile look bigger!"

Then bugger me, I saw them in another shop similarly trolley loaded with more tat.

It's gross.

I honestly feel that you will massively regret getting them phones, if they aren’t appreciating your efforts now, giving them phones might just make them more detached.

As for budget, it probably would do them the world of good to have less. It’s easy to spend allot if you have it, and even if you don’t!

I dont know how its possible to only spend £150 per child and actually get decent stuff.

They would only end up with one or two things each.

Decent toys are at least £45 each and there is alot of stuff in smyths that is around £65 a toy

Are people missing that the £150 is on top of the main gift?

And for the oldest 2 (aged 10 and 9) the main gift is a nearly new iPhone.

They are hardly "getting nothing".