Not going mad on presents for the kids!

[30tanned]

Usually we go mad and buy the kids loads for Xmas they always have everything they want and more I will admit they are spoilt!

This year they all have their main presents and then my husband an I have agreed to buy a couple of smaller presents but try keep it to £150 budget for each child for the other bits after the main.
Obviously people know how expensive everything is so they won't have a pile like normal I feel like I am being a bad mum because we could afford to spend more but I am sick to death of them just throwing things an it never seeing the light of day again we just waste money because it's Christmas and we feel we should! The children don't appreciate it and don't play with it ( all believers so obvs we don't get the credit)

AIBU to not go mad on them? They are 10,9,6

@woodhill

I think it's fine to give clothing as presents. We were on a tight budget and I'm not spending for the sake of it

Plus who wants loads of stuff cluttering up their houses

The qn about pajamas was about replacing them in August.

I do get that not every family can afford to replace clothes easily throughout the year and so making them into Xmas presents to last the year ahead means the kids get presents and their essentials without going into debt. Charity shops and online platforms like Vinted are a great source of good quality cheap toys and clothes so you can afford to do both

I like getting pyjammas for christmas, and socks, and bubble bath. Lovely things you will use and appreciate.

Yes not bought in August 😀

My adult dc are not scarred for life from it

I'm buying dgd a cot duvet at her dms request for Christmas and pyjamas

Different times so no online bargains but good NCT sales

@woodhill

Yes not bought in August 😀

My adult dc are not scarred for life from it

I'm buying dgd a cot duvet at her dms request for Christmas and pyjamas

I still can't work out what you are agreeing to...

Would you wrap up and give your 7yo child a pair of needed pyjamas in August and call it a gift to them?

@purplewolfie

I like getting pyjammas for christmas, and socks, and bubble bath. Lovely things you will use and appreciate.

Which is fine, as an adult you might enjoy those things as gifts.

But is giving a small child a needed item of clothing an actual gift?

I don't understanding what is wrong with giving your Dcs pyjamas as part of their Christmas present.

Yes it pads out the presents - so what?

My kids have too much stuff so we're doing music lessons for one of them, a driving lesson for the other one. We don't need more stuff. It's bad for the environment, it doesn't give them the memories an experience day does and Christmas has become disgustingly wasteful. I'd rather they grew up knowing the meaning of things and lockdown plus the current state of the world really opened our eyes to what is important. It's not stuff!

@woodhill

I don't understanding what is wrong with giving your Dcs pyjamas as part of their Christmas present.

Yes it pads out the presents - so what?

Because it's not a gift.If you wouldn't wrap up needed pyjamas for a 7yo in August and call it a gift, why is a pair of needed pyjamas wrapped up and called a gift at Christmas?

What's wrong with it? They're a filler item. They are only there to make piles bigger and
are contributing to and reinforcing the idea that kids need big piles of presents to open etc.

People see large piles of presents in the media and from friends SM accounts etc and feel the need to keep up. So they bung in items like PJs, School Bags, Socks (namely... essential items) to "pad out the presents"... It perpetuates the cycle of consumerism.

On this thread alone there are people who save ALL YEAR to help "pay for Christmas" and part of this is because there's this pressure to spend a fuck ton of money on your kids... because you're told your tight/mean of you by your child a small amount of gifts that can be sensibly afforded.

People are going into debt over Christmas... It's fucking madness.

I’m a bit sad because my daughter in law has asked me not to get my grandchildren anything for Christmas other than a couple of little (£2-£3) stocking fillers as she doesn’t want Christmas to be all about the presents. I’ll respect her wishes of course but I would so like to get them something they really want - they are 5 and 9 so only little.

And I still acknowledge and assert that a much wanted Giraffe Onesie (as a nice to have) would make a nice gift ...or if you knew a child really enjoyed having bubbles on their bath, and were paw patrol mad...then a bottle of Paw Patrol bubble bath would be a gift.

.. because there's thought behind it and it's a non essential item*

Needed clothing as Christmas gifts adds to the gift pile without adding to the plastic tat pike. Mother bought me and my child free siblings underwear and socks well into our forties.

@Sixmonthson

I’m a bit sad because my daughter in law has asked me not to get my grandchildren anything for Christmas other than a couple of little (£2-£3) stocking fillers as she doesn’t want Christmas to be all about the presents. I’ll respect her wishes of course but I would so like to get them something they really want - they are 5 and 9 so only little.

Well, maybe she's getting them something they really want...?

Did she ask for actual stocking fillers to go in their stockings, or something along the lines of stocking fillers
Because you could ask if you can buy them one small gift at around £10... you'll be able to find them something thoughtful for them.

And tbh you could probably find a couple of small gifts they'd like as well.

Having said that, the 9yo in particular will already have certain ideas about how Christmas is, so I wonder what has happened to make your daughter change it so drastically? What would you have normally got them?

@Ericaequites

Needed clothing as Christmas gifts adds to the gift pile without adding to the plastic tat pike. Mother bought me and my child free siblings underwear and socks well into our forties.

But why "add to the pile"? To make it look better? So kids have "plenty to open"?

What is the point of that???

...and needed clothing is not a gift!

It's like saying... here's your lunch, happy birthday, hope you like the sandwich I made for you!!

'Only' £150 on "bits" after the main present ?

Sorry, I find this sickening. We had plenty enough money to fund this level of spending but why would you? What are you teaching your children? Makes me very sad.

I totally agree, I never bought into the huge pile thing but preferable to the plastic tat and this was before the environmental awareness. At least the pjs were useful😀

No, actual things to go in their stockings. She’s not getting them anything else so they’ll have maybe £10 worth of bits each. No sweets, they’re never allowed any.
It just seems a bit joyless to me as I’d like to spoil them a bit especially at Christmas.

Sixmonthson can you ask if you can give them a voucher for a day out somewhere? Either together or separately as 5&9 probably have different interests. Those are the gifts my DC like the best.

@RockingMyFiftiesNot this level of spending? £150 is 2, maybe 3 toys? I bought DD 3 Lego sets this weekend that came to over £200. What are you posters buying that you think £150 is buying a huge amount of gifts?

It's not the cost of the presents that boggles my mind - different people have different budgets and that's all good, but this thing about a big pile of presents - especially a pile of plastic shit that doesn't get looked at ever again - its just crazy!!! Why??? It's so stupid, pointless and wasteful!!! What does it achieve?

So you want your kids to come down the stairs on Christmas day and see a huge massive Home Alone Christmas morning style pile of presents by the tree? That's it? They don't actually care what's in the presents, they don't get joy from it, you just want that one second of awe? How much do you pay for that? Isn't there another way you can make the day nice, that isn't completely stupid and pointless and just rampant consumerism to their detriment?

Also, I don't think needed clothes are gifts. However, clothes that are a bit special or difficult to source do count as gifts in this house! Eldest wants a couple of obscure German industrial metal band t shirts that are hard to track down and a bit more expensive than the stuff he normally gets from the high street, so they count as Xmas presents imo!

I find the negative comments re Christmas pyjamas and clothes as gifts generally bizarre! Do none of you do Christmas Eve pyjamas? My kids get new Xmasy pjs on Christmas Eve (wrapped up) and a new pair each with their presents. They also both usually ask for specific clothes, not stuff they need but, for example, a certain hoody or t shirt, my teen dd has done this for the last few years.

Re the fuss about a 9 year old having a phone, mine uses hers to chat to her friends, play games on and call/text us if she's sleeping out. I don't see the issue with this. She had our old phones from around 7 then got an iPhone 11 for her 9th birthday. She loves it and understands it's a very expensive gift and certainly doesn't expect that level of spending as standard.

[quote RussianSpy101]@RockingMyFiftiesNot this level of spending? £150 is 2, maybe 3 toys? I bought DD 3 Lego sets this weekend that came to over £200. What are you posters buying that you think £150 is buying a huge amount of gifts?[/quote]
That's £150 ON TOP OF main presents. Walk round any toy shop and you can get many decent gifts for way less than £50-£75 each, no idea why you think you can only get 2 - 3. toys for £150? Books are lovely presents, craft materials etc.
Ill say it again. Sickening.

@rockingmyfiftiesnot
Sickening?! That is a really bizarre reaction. She's not abusing her children! Such a weird thing to say.
Surely you can understand that people have different levels of income and budget, and £150 being a lot of money is just your subjective opinion, and may not be a lot to others?
If someone can afford 3 Lego sets and their kids would get enjoyment from it, it's not sickening in the slightest! It might not be what you would do, you might even think she's crazy and wasting money, but it's not "sickening"