Not going mad on presents for the kids!

[30tanned]

Usually we go mad and buy the kids loads for Xmas they always have everything they want and more I will admit they are spoilt!

This year they all have their main presents and then my husband an I have agreed to buy a couple of smaller presents but try keep it to £150 budget for each child for the other bits after the main.
Obviously people know how expensive everything is so they won't have a pile like normal I feel like I am being a bad mum because we could afford to spend more but I am sick to death of them just throwing things an it never seeing the light of day again we just waste money because it's Christmas and we feel we should! The children don't appreciate it and don't play with it ( all believers so obvs we don't get the credit)

AIBU to not go mad on them? They are 10,9,6

I don't think cost matters - spend what you can afford and but what will be appreciated.

I've spent about £200 on my 9yo and £500ish on my 15yo but it's all things they will get a lot of use from 🤷‍♀️

Why would you be unreasonable to buy your children gifts they want? I don't think children are 'spoilt' just from buying them excessive things; it's more of a learnt attitude. I also think the cost is a a bit of red herring as younger children aren't really aware of how much things cost. It's better for everyone though if you stop buying your children crap they don't want and the planet would be grateful if people would consume less at Christmastime. I'm also skeptical of how much your older children truly believe and if they're just going along with it so the gifts keep coming in.

This HAS to be a wind-up...

If I won the lottery I still wouldn't spend like this!

@yoyo1234 really? Dont your DC like Lego? That’s easily on 1 or 2 Lego sets.

I can’t believe it’s actually beyond anyone’s imagination that it’s possible to spend £150 on a child

Given that you're mentioning amounts, I can see you'd be upsetting people here. You do you, you're a great mum whether you spend £500 or £50.

Mine are 2 & 6 months. I usually get toys that will be played with for a long time + put money in crypto currencies for them for their future.

I used to spend an absolute fortune on my 3 children....really over the top....pointless....two have turned out lazy scrounging bums.....do what you think is best and they will be hopefully grateful for...save your money and your time worrying about it....honestly.....time over I would do everything so differently.....

By a big game between them and then do smaller gifts wrapped (chocolate, toiletries and pjs) to bulk it out.

Bloody hell… main presents plus £150 and that’s not going overboard 🙄. That so a ridiculous amount of money

What have you bought as a main present?

What does the £150 go on?

A lot of kids get far too much these days for the sake of getting a huge pile. YANBU to cut it down a bit. I know it's hard when you/ your kids see all the pictures of massive piles other kids are getting but I think it's better to concentrate on quality rather than quantity. You could always put £50 for each kid into a big day out over the year.

You spend what you want.
But I wouldn't spend 150 as a rule. Only on a bigger present, and then it could be more or a joint Christmas and birthday present (Jan). Or spend more on one and less on the other occasion.

Just make sure the amount is the same for all, but don't just add to a set amount for the sake of it if the presents aren't wanted or valued.

@RussianSpy101 for Christmas at primary age for toys circa £100 is what I would spend, hence for me I find it hard to imagine spending more than that. I do me . I think Christmas is often ridiculously over commercialised and I dread to think how bad for the environment (I try not to buy decorations etc maybe a set of crackers where I try to recycle what I can). When adding in things from extended family I found it to be loads .

Honestly, if you spend so much on them that you are noticing they don't appreciate it, then continuing to do the same is what will make you a bad mum. (Irrespective of how much you actually spend).
We give them one present from their list, although to be fair, they've only ever written one thing on their list. Then go for the 4 want, need, wear read from us.

@30tanned Personally I think the amount of money spent is completely irrelevant. Spend what you can afford and what you’re comfortable with - whether that’s £5 or £500.

My issue lies with the fact that you’re spending money despite them being ungrateful and not using half the stuff! Spending for the sake of spending or for the sake of “having a big pile” is just ridiculous to me! Also the fact they think it’s all from Santa 😬🙄 please be mindful of other children and what they can afford. My DC isn’t of an age to understand yet but we will definitely be doing the “one gift from Santa” thing. The rest will be from us. It kills me that some kids go back to school after Christmas and Santa got them a football but Santa hit another kid a football, a bike and a PlayStation etc.

I hope the pile of gifts isn’t for the sake of a picture on social media 🙄

*santa got

We buy four presents, something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read and it’s enough and sets a standard of them knowing that’s what they will get so really appreciating and playing with the gifts they have

When I was about 12 I remember staying at my cousin's house for Christmas. They had a huge present pile each and we just had about 6 gifts each. They ripped open everything and discarded it, didn't seem interested and didn't play with any of it.

I could afford to buy loads for my DCs now but that has stayed with me. They don't need it, I don't want the clutter, they have loads already so the budget is about 100 each

That does seem a lot !

What do you get them? Is it all toys and 'stuff' or do you slip some nice 'necessaries' into the pile too?

I probably spend £80-£100 on toys/games/treats/crafty stuff, but then a bit more on things I would have bought anyway, only a bit nicer.... so a warm winter jumper, a backpack, socks, a book etc. We could afford to spend more but I don't know where we would put it!

Ah its the annual competitive MN overspending / underspending thread.

@30tanned I think you are being reasonable.
Everything adds up quickly. 14 yo ds has got a Spicery kit, a Gordon Ramsay cook book and a mini coffee machine (I use a mocha).
That’s at least £60. None of it is crap. He will get £100 as his main present, and a stocking with chocolate, Christmas socks, japanese sweets, and a book, that sort of thing.
All of it will be used. You can spend money on decent stuff and it’s still expensive!
Enjoy your Christmas

Oh yes the pods for the coffee machine?
£20. Can’t use it without them

@BlueFlavour thank you for that list. I have an impossible to buy for 16 year old and some of those things would be perfect!

@yoyo1234 you are very welcome!
I got him the little Bosch £30 one from John Lewis. He’s also got the bananagram game as I can sometimes force him to play scrabble with me! About £6. A few cans of American Fanta and a giant Pringle tube from QD. That’s it. But I’ve probably spent around £150.

It’s easily done.

Don’t worry op

My boys don't need anything. They get treats throughout the year when I see something they will enjoy and they have lots from family.
They are 2 and 4 so obviously younger than yours.
The last few years I've bought plastic crap for the sake of it but this year I've just done:
1 outfit and a pair of shoes each.
1 set of PJs with matching dressing gown and slippers each.
1 book each.
1 toiletries set each.
1 item for their bedroom.
1 chocolate item each.
And 1 nice toy I know they will really love each.

That's it. Anything more than that would be a waste. It seems like most the house is toy storage.

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