Not going mad on presents for the kids!

[30tanned]

Usually we go mad and buy the kids loads for Xmas they always have everything they want and more I will admit they are spoilt!

This year they all have their main presents and then my husband an I have agreed to buy a couple of smaller presents but try keep it to £150 budget for each child for the other bits after the main.
Obviously people know how expensive everything is so they won't have a pile like normal I feel like I am being a bad mum because we could afford to spend more but I am sick to death of them just throwing things an it never seeing the light of day again we just waste money because it's Christmas and we feel we should! The children don't appreciate it and don't play with it ( all believers so obvs we don't get the credit)

AIBU to not go mad on them? They are 10,9,6

[quote TammyTwoSwanson]@rockingmyfiftiesnot
Sickening?! That is a really bizarre reaction. She's not abusing her children! Such a weird thing to say.
Surely you can understand that people have different levels of income and budget, and £150 being a lot of money is just your subjective opinion, and may not be a lot to others?
If someone can afford 3 Lego sets and their kids would get enjoyment from it, it's not sickening in the slightest! It might not be what you would do, you might even think she's crazy and wasting money, but it's not "sickening" [/quote]
I don't have an issue with people spending as much or as little as they can afford. The OP is fretting about £150 on secondary gifts, on top of main presents, not being enough and what other people will think. THAT is what sickens me, and makes me very sad .

@Sixmonthson

No, actual things to go in their stockings. She’s not getting them anything else so they’ll have maybe £10 worth of bits each. No sweets, they’re never allowed any. It just seems a bit joyless to me as I’d like to spoil them a bit especially at Christmas.

What happened last year? What do you buy them throughout the year?

Can you speak to your son and agree to buy them an experience?

@Sixmonthson

I’m a bit sad because my daughter in law has asked me not to get my grandchildren anything for Christmas other than a couple of little (£2-£3) stocking fillers as she doesn’t want Christmas to be all about the presents. I’ll respect her wishes of course but I would so like to get them something they really want - they are 5 and 9 so only little.

Just weighing in to say that's quite sad. The whole point of grandparents is to be a bit indulgent . My in-laws - who are NOT poor - spend precisely £5 on each grandchild at Christmas (we know this because they do all their present shopping through the two-for-a-tenner offer at Home Bargains). Wondering if I can swop with your DIL

@TammyTwoSwanson, is it Rammstein stuff you're after?

If so EMP have loads of band merch and have had pretty decent black Friday deals on all week, especially if you sign up for their newsletter. We've used them a few times without issue so worth a look :)

I’m a bit sad because my daughter in law has asked me not to get my grandchildren anything for Christmas other than a couple of little (£2-£3) stocking fillers as she doesn’t want Christmas to be all about the presents. I’ll respect her wishes of course but I would so like to get them something they really want - they are 5 and 9 so only little.

I agree this is a bit sad. While it shouldn't be all about the presents, presents are a big part of Christmas for kids.

We agree presents with parents/in laws as they are very generous and we don't want a whole load of random stuff coming into our house at Christmas. PIL usually pick a 'big ticket' item (bike, wooden play kitchen, toniebox etc.) and my parents upgrade with nicer accessories than we would buy for it (lots of tonies/play kitchen food and utensils/expensive helmet and bell).

Threads like this always turn into a pissing contest, it happens every single year. You get varying responses from people who claim to only buy their children one present each through to others who think £150 isn’t enough. It’s like the Yorkshireman sketch sometimes- ‘you spend £150?! Your kids are spoilt, we only spend £50 if they’re lucky’. Weird.

We're doing a stocking for DS from Santa (totals about £45). One small present from us (about £25). That's it. He'll get spoiled by his grandparents, I'm sure, but anything beyond that is unnecessary in my eyes.

You're not a bad mum for choosing not to blow money on unnecessary crap.

@Sixmonthson

I’m a bit sad because my daughter in law has asked me not to get my grandchildren anything for Christmas other than a couple of little (£2-£3) stocking fillers as she doesn’t want Christmas to be all about the presents. I’ll respect her wishes of course but I would so like to get them something they really want - they are 5 and 9 so only little.

I agree with your daughter in law, sorry. Kids have too many toys!!!

Maybe you can ask her if there is something she wants for the kids that you can help buy?

Otherwise give them an experience, a day out with you! They would LOVE that. Day at the zoo? Cinema? A fair ground? A safari park/petting farm? Crazy golf? What would you enjoy doing with them?

@DoucheCanoe Lindemann - Rammstein spin off group! And there's another group Engelman or something? Will check it out!

I don’t und

I don’t understand the competition to spend the least on your kids, all the post saying they could never spend £150 on their child as they wouldn’t have enough things to buy to use up the budget. I big Lego Friends or Lego Harry Potter set will set you back £100 of that budget or the new Call Of Duty Game is £80+ this year.

For what it’s worth OP one of my dd’s for example has a Nintendo Switch (the all in one console not the lite) extra controllers, 6 games and a carry case as her main gift. I have spent £200 so far on tree gifts such as slime kits, craft sets, a few medium Harry Potter Lego sets, earrings etc. I still need to do her stocking which I budget £100 for and then new Pj’s and a new cuddly toy. I think you Christmas budget looks more than normal to me.

@LittleBirdy1

I don’t understand the competition to spend the least on your kids, all the post saying they could never spend £150 on their child as they wouldn’t have enough things to buy to use up the budget. I big Lego Friends or Lego Harry Potter set will set you back £100 of that budget or the new Call Of Duty Game is £80+ this year.

For what it’s worth OP one of my dd’s for example has a Nintendo Switch (the all in one console not the lite) extra controllers, 6 games and a carry case as her main gift. I have spent £200 so far on tree gifts such as slime kits, craft sets, a few medium Harry Potter Lego sets, earrings etc. I still need to do her stocking which I budget £100 for and then new Pj’s and a new cuddly toy. I think you Christmas budget looks more than normal to me.

The £150 was for extras on top of the main presents. I can understand how easy it is for people to spend a lot of money and it is up to each individual as long as you can afford it. But to be beating yourself up for 'only' spending £150 in addition to main presents is so sad.

@Sixmonthson

No, actual things to go in their stockings. She’s not getting them anything else so they’ll have maybe £10 worth of bits each. No sweets, they’re never allowed any. It just seems a bit joyless to me as I’d like to spoil them a bit especially at Christmas.

Christmas is whatever you make it I suppose.

If they're all happy with this (and in particular the 9yo is aware this is what is happening) then who cares?

I can imagine there'd be some confusion and upset come Christmas morning if the kids aren't warned in advance but that's on your daughter.

@Hemingwayscats

Threads like this always turn into a pissing contest, it happens every single year. You get varying responses from people who claim to only buy their children one present each through to others who think £150 isn’t enough. It’s like the Yorkshireman sketch sometimes- ‘you spend £150?! Your kids are spoilt, we only spend £50 if they’re lucky’. Weird.

in breaking news, it has been observed that everyone is different and there's no one way to do Christmas ...

[quote RussianSpy101]@RockingMyFiftiesNot this level of spending? £150 is 2, maybe 3 toys? I bought DD 3 Lego sets this weekend that came to over £200. What are you posters buying that you think £150 is buying a huge amount of gifts?[/quote]
If you buy 3 presents that are £50 of course you can only get 3 gifts.

But if you are buying presents that are around £10-20 then you can get more...

A quick scoot through the Smyth's Website show, for £150 I could get an average 6-8yo the following:

Tabletop Football £10
Pokemon/Marvel/Disney Puzzle Pack £9
Buckaroo/Guess Who/Kerplunk £14-£17
Marble Run £15
Lego Ninjago/Friends/City £9
Annual £10
Scooter £16
Telescope £9
vTech kiddizoom camera £50.
Fidget Popper £2
Mashem £3

That's 11 gifts with two "big" presents (Scooter and Camera)

@00100001 AND they already have big presents - the £150 is for extras....
as you say, you can make money go a long way. Some children would appreciate one thing off that list

Doing them a huge disservice by giving them so much. No one was ever made happy (long-term) or became a better, nicer person by being given absolutely loads of stuff.

No one was ever made happy (long-term) or became a better, nicer person by being given absolutely loads of stuff.

Have you seen the number of pp on here who still harbour a grudge against their parents because they didn't get a Mr Frosty machine? I did get one and it's definitely had a positive overall effect on my long-term relationship with my parents .

My budget is about £50 each per child all included. I can't imagine spending huge sums like some people seem to. I can't afford to.

@Gliderx

No one was ever made happy (long-term) or became a better, nicer person by being given absolutely loads of stuff.

Have you seen the number of pp on here who still harbour a grudge against their parents because they didn't get a Mr Frosty machine? I did get one and it's definitely had a positive overall effect on my long-term relationship with my parents .

A "frosty machine". Not several little bits of stuff it's ok to give kids what they want, but giving too much makes those special gifts mean less

I think it's a good idea to limit how much they get. £150 is still very generous (especially as you have three!) and it's important to teach your kids that Christmas is not about getting as much stuff as possible. Do what's right for you! :)

@30tanned

My older 2 children have iPhones for mains ( nearly new phones on contract) so we haven't actually spent a massive amount in 1 lump sum before I get flamed for it and my little one a wooden toy shop. The £150 would be for everything else so stockings, few smaller toys ,Lego sets ,pjs , I would get the older 2 a pair of trainers etc but of course it will not look much for my older dc as iPhones are the main present and very expensive! I don't think £150 is unimaginable like some have said and no it wasn't a bragging post it was a post asking if I was being unreasonable to cut back on presents as they don't appreciate it. I know the phones will be greatly appreciated as they have wanted them for awhile so thanks for those who answered I will not be going mad like usual I will get a couple of smaller gifts each and use the money wisely only things they will actually enjoy/ use. Thanks all x

Are you not concerned about your 9 year old having unsupervised access to internet?

@Foxglovesandlilacs86

I don’t have a strict budget with my kids but I would guess I spend between 4-5 hundred each now the older 5 then maybe 2-3 on the younger three. Eldest is 13 youngest is a baby (so probably more like 1-200 for the baby).

My older ones have Christmas at their dads too and he spends similar amount on them, maybe slightly less.

That being said I don’t buy them anything except clothes or pocket money the rest of the year and I don’t have any family on my side to buy them anything, exdh family live hours away and will buy them one present each.

Things are so expensive nowadays and I’ve noticed as they get into their teens they want branded things which is fine but you don’t get much for your money when buying them alongside a main present too (my oldest two want a new laptop each!)

Have I misread this post? £400-£500 per elder child x 5, £200-£300 per younger child x 3... and their dad spends the sameish? That's at least £5,000 you're spending on the same set of kids? Every single year?

Crikey moses.

@AudacityBaby 🤷🏻‍♀️ some people have money. I get a bike second hand, they can afford a new fancy expensive one

I do find that regardless of money kids only need a select number of toys not all the toys you can possibly afford

Just because your DC 'wants' a lap top or branded designer gear doesn't mean you have to buy it for them . My DS got his first lap top the year he went to Uni & if he wants designer clothes he happily buys his own from DePop or Vinted.