How often do you talk to your DP on the phone during the day?

[Rageagainstthebing]

Just as the title says. Both working, me from home in a job that needs me to have a headset on. Also I'm easily distracted so every time I stop what I'm doing it takes me an age to get back into it.

I'm curious what others do as I'm feeling like I'm being unreasonable to not want/need to check in throughout the day and wait until we're both home to chat.

It depends! Typically we'll ring each other when we finish work to let the other know. We do text throughout the day just random silly things. Occasionally we'll speak at lunch time if one of us is bored or upset.

It's not unusual however for us to not speak from leaving the house in the morning until the time we get home.

Typically, not at all. Maybe one WhatsApp to ask the other to get milk/pick up a prescription or whatever, but thats it

Why would you phone each other during the work day?

We text a bit but would only call for practical reason or emergencies

never, we are both very pressured during the day

We probably speak on the phone every other day-ish. Sometimes just to check in but more often because we need to ask something to the other one and it's easier to ask straight away than wait til we see each other.

We never speak on the phone unless something urgent has happened/will happen, and we’re going to be very late home. Text occasionally.

I don’t really understand checking in during the day for no reason, but these threads always have loads of people who are texting or calling multiple times a day.

Never

We see each other every morning and every evening. We both have more important things to do during the day than chit chat.

Probably send a text or two as things crop up - who’s doing pick up, are we both home for dinner, life admin question, DGP requests etc.

I prefer not to actually talk during the working day but I appreciate a text. When I hear about what a doss DP has had at work, messing about, going for long lunches with his team and doing a lot of driving about, if he hasn’t found 10 seconds during all of that to send me a quick hello, I feel quite invisible. I work at home alone and sometimes it’s the only human connection I have in 6-7 hours. Obvs I also send him messages too, I’m not just waiting around. We don’t live together and sometimes it gets to 11pm and I haven’t heard from him all day, and that makes me feel totally unimportant. I know he won’t be doing anything exciting or important, just watching TV, making dinner etc and I just think in all that time, it hasn’t once occurred to him to check in and say hi. If he’s coming round that night (and I assume if I lived with him) it wouldn’t matter so much because I’d see him at home time. But it because it’s 3 days I’m between visits I do need a bit of attention in between times to stay connected to him.

I never ring my partner in the day.

I might send a couple of texts throughout the day of funny things happen or if we are discussing which snacks to buy for the evening😂.

Rarely, as PP have said the odd text if there is anything to report or a call if it's something specific, but otherwise we don't talk to each other until I get home.

Sometimes not at all, maybe once if I've got something to tell him. We message on and off throughout the day though.

He’s WFH and I’m a SAHM so he’s always in the way but back in the office days I never rang him. I would text him things we needed to do/talk about/remember or send him tiktoks a lot 😄 but nothing urgent ever came up for me to call him really. He’d call me if he had to stay out or stay over or whatever m.

Usually never, the only time we speak on the phone is if we need to change arrangements for who is picking up DD, and that’s right at the end of the day. Generally 1 or 2 messages on WhatsApp though.

I’ve worked with loads of people in the past whose spouse would just ring them for a chat in the middle of the work day, and was always a bit

I have just spoken to DH as he tried to WhatsApp call me which is very unusual an DH was concerned something had happened. He said it was a mistake. Normally do not speak at all during the day but we do message.

Never. Just a text to say got to place safely, leaving now, that's it.

Never.

Ah ok that makes me feel like I'm not BU! Thank you.

So a call to say "I've not spoken to you for a couple of hours" isn't likely to be received well by others too 😂.

I tend to call only when I need to or if I know he's having a bad day to check in. Not for general chats. He likes to be constantly in touch. Last week I counted 8 calls in one afternoon. It's exhausting.

Re phoning v texting DP will often call while he’s driving because it’s easier for him to use that time to check in rather than texting, but I find that a real intrusion instead of a message which can be read and replied to when it’s convenient. I guess the phone people are the same, phoning is instant, needs less concentration so you can do it while driving, cleaning, doing many physical things, whereas texting only takes a moment but it’s a conscious decision to stop what you’re doing and write it.

Yeah 8 calls with no particular reason would be too much! 8 texts saying I miss you, how’s it going, look what I did, what’s for dinner etc I might be ok with, but honestly I’m pretty needy and 1 or 2 is enough for me!

Not at all unless it's an emergency. We both might send the odd text but with no expectation of a reply.

We don't really. Maybe a whatsapp here or there throughout the day but we're both often busy at work.

Never. He doesn’t finish work until 7 or 8 so will usually call me on his way home for a chat about our days. It does my head in as I’m usually trying to cook dinner or just chill out. I don’t know why he can’t wait 20 minutes to talk to me when he’s actually home!

Only if we needed an answer about something extremely urgently or there had been an emergency. Neither of us are really in a position to pick up the phone and talk during our working days so even then a text is probably more efficient.

We don't really text chat either, if we send messages to each other it's either random memes/in-jokes, or boring logistical shit.

I might be way off mark but is he calling to check up on you in any way i.e. checking you are where you say you are?

8 calls! What on earth does he want to talk to you about??