How often do you talk to your DP on the phone during the day?

[Rageagainstthebing]

Just as the title says. Both working, me from home in a job that needs me to have a headset on. Also I'm easily distracted so every time I stop what I'm doing it takes me an age to get back into it.

I'm curious what others do as I'm feeling like I'm being unreasonable to not want/need to check in throughout the day and wait until we're both home to chat.

We live together so only speak on the phone in the day if there's a problem or something urgently needs sorting out (something that cannot wait until that evening).

In pre-covid days, when DH travelled overseas for weeks at a time, I insisted on one call or email a day, email if the time zones meant it was difficult to find a slot that worked for both of us.

We have been in the house together since the first lockdown. Some days I swear we spoke more when he was on the other side of the earth.

I have established that he is an introvert and I know I am an extrovert. I like chatting and keeping in touch. He humours me but does not feel any such need.

Last week I counted 8 calls in one afternoon. It's exhausting.

Jeez, that's ridiculous! Especially when you say there was no purpose. I wouldn't be able to answer anyway as I'm usually back to back in calls/meetings so text is usually the only way to reach me. The world had better be in flames if you call me 8 times.

If one or the other of us is in the office, we never do, unless there is a very specific reason. If I'm in the office, I will when I leave, as it's an 8 hour drive home, so OH knows when I have left.

We are both WFH now and there are often days when its dead busy we hardly say a word to each other, even though we are sat at the same table.

I could probably count on my fingers the number of times I've spoken to my wife on the phone in nearly five years of marriage, only for urgent things, last was she's in McDonald's and they don't have my usual order so what do I want 🤣. We do text constantly but that's mainly as we started long distance so it's just habit. We both wfh, if one or other is on a call then we wait for replies but that's about it.

Pretty much never, unless there's a need to. We're both grown-ups, we can cope with not talking to each other during working hours.

I find the idea of calling your partner while they're working pretty weird tbh.

Never unless we have something that cannot wait until we get home.

Last week I counted 8 calls in one afternoon. It's exhausting.

I would leave a man who was this needy or who felt the need to check up on me like this. This is not normal behaviour from a grown man.

while he's hard at work. - not that hard if all he seems to do is call you.

Usually not at all, unless we need to for a specific reason and even then we would text, not call.

Sorry, haven't RTFT but 8 calls in one afternoon would have me heading for the hills, do not pass go, do not collect £200...

How bored must he be at work

We text randomly throughout the day but it’s only one or two here and there, we talk on the phone once or twice though during break times if we have time

Never.

He WhatsApp's me and gets offended when I don't respond but the reality is I spend 5 out of 8 hours a day in meetings so when I do get free time I spend it playing catch up. So I generally just ignore him.

we message during the day (I have a long hours job and so I leave for work before he's awake)

we only call if it's urgent - I can probably count the times on my hand and it's always 'for a reason' i.e. not for a chit chat. We see each other every evening and that's when we catch up!

I would probably block anyone who called me 8 times in an afternoon, wtf is he thinking!

Virtually never, only if something crops up that is too complicated or urgent for a text. We rarely text either, maybe once a week to just check something. I tend to get home form work before him and he does often call to say when he's leaving but that's all. We both have plenty of social interaction in our workplaces so its not as if we are lonely when we're at work.

I sit in an open office. No one ever takes more than the very occasional brief call about practical matters from their other half.

Very rarely. Only if we need to discuss something important. I'd find constant calling or messages very needy and annoying, as would DH.

I don't think non work people call me 8 times in a week let alone one afternoon!

That would get on my nerves.

DH only rings me max once a day when he's working because he works away, if he was home every day he wouldn't.

How is he if you go out with friends OP? Does he let you relax?

I don't generally. If something happens then I'll occasionally call, but not just to chat. It would drive me up the wall if people called me to chat when I was working

not at all. a call would have to be an emergency. i would always pick up and return if so.

typical messages would be once every few days..
e.g.

"can you remember to get more tomatoes on your way home for tonight".
i would only expect a thumbs up in response.

or maybe
"what time is X arriving on saturday? it's not in the calender"
and i'd get or send "8am". not much more.

we're in roles that are hard to step away from/find free time in.. think akin to a GP or something, it's very visible if you're not in work mode!

That would drive me up the wall being contacted that often. I would be really annoyed if it was one of my collegues too as it would be really distracting.

DH rarely phones me or texts during the day. I've just looked at my phone and there was one call yesterday and 3 texts, but that was becuase they want him to do an additional shift this weekend and he was checking it was suitable. The previous text before that from him was last week!

We never call or text unless there is something that needs to be dealt with before we get home.
When we were first dating I would probably have liked more contact during the day but DH really did not appreciate the interruptions so I respected that.
Your issue OP is that your OH is not respecting what you're telling him.

Although my DM is another matter completely, had about 8 missed calls from her earlier, called her back worried and she was "just calling to see if I'd mind nipping to Dunelm to pick up her click and collect".

She doesn't understand that WFH means I'm not free to just run errands 😂. Drives me to distraction.