How often do you talk to your DP on the phone during the day?

[Rageagainstthebing]

Just as the title says. Both working, me from home in a job that needs me to have a headset on. Also I'm easily distracted so every time I stop what I'm doing it takes me an age to get back into it.

I'm curious what others do as I'm feeling like I'm being unreasonable to not want/need to check in throughout the day and wait until we're both home to chat.

Eight calls about nothing in one afternoon is ridiculous. Is he trying to control you? Would he pout and say ‘I just miss you’?

That's ridiculous, he would do my head in.

I'm pretty confident that the last time we talked on the phone was summer 2019 I called him because I couldn't find him in a park.
We text everyday though (we don't live together and generally don't see each other during the week)

Very seldom. I WFH and he is retired, but often out of the house doing whatever. We will sometimes text as in me to him "Can you pick up some milk while you are out and about." We will also text or sometimes call if we are out and going to be home later than expected.

Before smart phones when we were both working, we usually spoke on the phone every day because we often commuted together and usually needed to coordinate pick-up time at the end of the work day.

Used to work reception at one place and there was a guy who's wife used to call him 10+ times in a normal day, it drove him insane

Me and my partner, if we're seeing each other every evening then we tend not to speak during the day. If one of us is away then we might call once in the day

According to call history I haven't spoken to her for a few days

Anywhere from 2-5 times a day. Were a bit weird though. We chat on the way to work- long drives in! On the way home, usually a few times during the day.
We do the same job, so we often discuss work matters during the day. Might send paperwork to one another or something.

We do appreciate that we're not the "norm" though.

I don't unless it's important, like I need him to bring me home crisps or something

Around 3 times.

Never

Atm just once (unless there's a reason we need to contact each other) usually when the first one of us finishes up for the day to let the other know they'd be home first and will start the dinner/check if we need anything in the shop on the way home etc

we usually email a few times in the day as well, just a good morning/how are things kind of an email as he leaves before I need to get up so I don't usually see him in the morning

Never!

@Rageagainstthebing

Ah ok that makes me feel like I'm not BU! Thank you.

So a call to say "I've not spoken to you for a couple of hours" isn't likely to be received well by others too 😂.

I tend to call only when I need to or if I know he's having a bad day to check in. Not for general chats. He likes to be constantly in touch. Last week I counted 8 calls in one afternoon. It's exhausting.

We may chat if we are both free for 5 mins at lunchtime...

Although either may text to pick up stuff for dinner.

8 times in an afternoon would drive me bananas....

And would be seriously questioning the relationship....

I wfh full time and DH is in the office 2 days a week. On the days when he's in the office I usually get a lunchtime call, for 1-2 mins as he walks to get lunch. We don't talk about anything very important. And we whatsapp through the day too though we can go hours between messages, it's not constant.

We never used to be this in touch - when we both worked in an office fulltime we might text a little in the day, but I think we got really used to being around each other all day every day in lockdown, and now it feels normal. I quite like it, though 8 calls in an afternoon for general chit chat would annoy me and go unanswered.

@Fatgalslim

I might be way off mark but is he calling to check up on you in any way i.e. checking you are where you say you are?

Maybe sometimes. If I'm somewhere nice after work he'll make a 'joke' about me having a nice time while he's hard at work. It's more likely that I'm trying to keep 2 preschoolers entertained and awake between the dreaded preschool finish and bedtime hours than actually relaxing with a coffee most of the time.

@Rageagainstthebing

Ah ok that makes me feel like I'm not BU! Thank you.

So a call to say "I've not spoken to you for a couple of hours" isn't likely to be received well by others too 😂.

I tend to call only when I need to or if I know he's having a bad day to check in. Not for general chats. He likes to be constantly in touch. Last week I counted 8 calls in one afternoon. It's exhausting.

Even for us, that would be excessive. Is he checking up on you? Does he not trust you? As I'd said in my post, myself and DH talk quite a lot throughout the day, but never really because we haven't spoken to one another in a few hours...

Why do you think this is? Is he insecure?

Never. Eight calls in an afternoon?! That seems genuinely bonkers. I don't think we even did that in the first flushes of our relationship when we wanted to do nothing but talk to each other! We would do a call at lunchtime then.

Never. Just checked my phone, I last called my DH on Sunday, which was to say "I'm parked down the road, please hurry before I get a ticket". Who says romance is dead?

We message each other regularly, shopping lists, takeout orders, reminders to pick the kids up and/or anything we think the other one needs to know ASAP. Don't speak unless it's urgent though. In fact I think I texted him to tell him my dad had died.

We do tend to speak on the phone every day if one of us is away overnight. We both used to travel quite a bit for work, and we just got into that habit: a quick check-in and good night. It's the responsibility of the one who is away to make the call, but truth be told, now we often just text, especially if it's just one night away.

He likes to be constantly in touch. Last week I counted 8 calls in one afternoon. It's exhausting.

I would go batshit if I were you. This is not remotely normal.

Tell him not to call you unless it's an emergency or close to it. The odd text is fine, but 8 calls in one afternoon is borderline bloody harassment.

Never unless there is something he needs to tell me eg he has to work late, he's had a row with his boss or something regarding one of the kids. But usually he texts.

We message each other and rarely ring unless it's urgent. My phone is mostly on silent anyway due to work meetings

We do message with practical updates on dc collection / shopping needed etc

And sometimes soppy one telling each other how much we love each other and / or that we miss each other - these are equally instigated and are very nice to receive during what is often a pressured day...

A little reminder of what's real and important in life!

We don't text or phone to keep in touch. It's either to convey information or to talk about something specific.

Only in an emergency.

Once or twice a day when we have a break. 8 times is waaaay to much. That would drive me nuts.