How often do you talk to your DP on the phone during the day?

[Rageagainstthebing]

Just as the title says. Both working, me from home in a job that needs me to have a headset on. Also I'm easily distracted so every time I stop what I'm doing it takes me an age to get back into it.

I'm curious what others do as I'm feeling like I'm being unreasonable to not want/need to check in throughout the day and wait until we're both home to chat.

Where does he work where he can make 8 personal phone calls in an afternoon? He must be shit at his job, and his employer would be furious he is wasting so much time I imagine.

He doesn't sound self sufficient as in ha anxiety or depression and needs constant reassurance or he's controlling.

Hopefully you can set some healthy boundaries and stick to them.

DH and I speak quite a lot, which looking at this thread is unusual!

We message back and forth throughout the day, things we've seen or random updates (today's: "Ooh just had that meeting with X finally" "Furious with the bank about this card mix-up, I just went in and they said Y") - it's mostly memes and nonsense, though.

It's not every day - if we're busy, we don't. But I work for myself and he has weird working times, so there are about an equal number of days where we do and don't message throughout the day.

And then we also call relatively regularly - a few times a week one will call the other at lunchtime to say hi, or we'll call while we're out and about and ask what the other fancies picking up for tea, or one of us is driving somewhere and just ring for a chat. He always calls on the way home from work, partly to ask if we need anything and partly just cos... we like talking to each other?

Reading the other replies makes mine sound like we're dangerously co-dependent, haha, but we're not. In the evenings at home we spend loads of time in our respective office/workspaces doing our own thing, spend plenty of time apart etc. But we just really like to chat to one another, and we're both talkers generally to think things through - we often talk each other through challenges or problems at work, or whatever.

Funny, as I know lots of people who message literally back and forth all day with SOs or call often, despite it being unusual in this thread - mostly under 35, though, so wonder if it's a 'having grown up with MSN and BBM and Whatsapp' thing. So I've never really considered it out of the ordinary!

Very different if you're trying to concentrate, though, OP - neither DH nor I would be remotely bothered if the other didn't answer a call/send a message back, and if the other had expressly said "No please don't call in the day", we wouldn't. So while I don't think his style/frequency of communication is that unusual or bad, the fact that you don't like it and he's doing it anyway is.

When we both worked out of home we kept in touch by text a lot more, whenever we could throughout the day.

Now that we’re both at home and he’s working a stressful and demanding job I wouldn’t dream of disturbing him constantly with phone calls and being so ridiculously needy. I keep myself busy and leave him to work. We catch up throughout the day when he has his lunch break or when he can get away for a bit - sometimes we’ll have a little snuggle or go for a walk together, whatever. But when he needs to work he needs to work and I respect that.

sometimes a couple messages like Have a good day or Love You
odd time a phone call as I leave work ,if I'm popping to the supermarket and want to ask if he wants anything ...
But there are days we don't ...we don't tend to talk/ message just for a chat .

@scarpa I’m 25 and DP and I rarely ring or text whilst we’re at work. We’re too busy. Maybe a text during our lunch break. We ring if the other is out and we need something. I envy the people who can text and ring all day long at work!

Never call probably just a couple of texts back and forth at lunch time to check in. Multiple calls a day would def annoy me!

Usually 0 times unless for specific reason.

We tend to message if he needs to pick up some food/issue w DCs/big news story. He might call if he’s going out straight from work and I won’t see him at all.

Depends. Today he was about 90 miles away. We texted each other a bit when he was waiting for someone. Sometimes we don't text at all.

I'm single now but ExH was like that

Phoning to catch up while I'm rushing to meet deadlines

OP he can't be busy if he can phone so often. I wonder what his colleagues think

A few times a week we call for a very brief 'check in with each other' when I've finished work - just to say hi, check anything we need to bring in after work etc. No real reason, just a quick 3 or 4 minute hello.
Dh gets home about 2-3 hours later.

Texts between us tend to be more practical based during the day, rather than chit chat.

I work from home and my dh is a lorry driver so often just sat about working. We'll chat maybe once or twice a day. If I'm busy then I won't ring at all. He tends to let me call him. He won't call me in case I'm busy, and I know he'll answer if he can, if not I'll catch up with him later. He works odd hours so we don't always see each other during the week so it's nice to just 'natter' for a bit

Don't speak to him at all normally on a work day. May whatsapp a message if need to tell each other something.

Mostly not at all , and if we do text it's usually practical about childcare etc or like this morning when he managed to take both sets of car keys (granted that was a grumpy phone call from me and could have waited but I was bloody furious getting on a bus with two dc to get to school)

On the odd occasion DP will train somewhere uninteresting and as he goes on a walk in the break will ring for a chat but he does that rarely now as I'm usually teaching online and very busy so he doesn't call in case I've forgotten to switch the ringer off and he disturbs a lesson.

To ring 8 times in an afternoon I'd be asking what the hell was going on in his mind ? That's really excessive and would royally piss me off.

Only in an emergency really or to discuss kids pick up/drop off etc. We're both quite difficult to contact at work.
Sometimes check in at the end of the day if he's not arrived home at usual time..

Never. Occasional WhatsApp messages usually of the boring variety.

Sometimes I call at the end of a long day to ask him for a lift with my heavy bags. Hehe.

We don't communicate in any way at all, except for a short phone call on a Sunday evening....and he works/lives in a separate country!
If he was calling, texting etc daily I would end up taking a hammer to my phone.

Typically, never. Catch up at home. Short messages just need a text.

8 calls! 😱

Blimey .......

Quick phonecall @ lunch everyday! Maybe a cheeky text in the morning.

Yeah that's not normal or OK.

We never contact each other unless it's pick milk bread up or DD needs something .

8 times hw would get a restaining order.

I can’t remember the last time I spoke to DH on the phone at work-it’s probably years ago. We text if there is something to say.