DH Nightshift Christmas Eve

[TwinkleTwinkleSeren]

DH is a nurse and we’ve been preparing ourselves for him having to work on Christmas Day. He’s been lucky enough to have the last few Christmas days off. Just found out that he’s likely to do a night shift on Christmas Eve and honestly I’m gutted. Our youngest son has ASD and whenever DH does nights we have to ship our oldest DS off to a grandparents house for a sleepover as our youngest disturbs his sleep, goes into his room, turns on all the lights, bounces all over him and tries to wrestle him 😂DS (youngest) gets wound up and excited by the oldest. We cope by DH having to sleep in oldests bedroom locked in! Now I have no idea how Christmas Eve would work if I’m alone with the two of them driving each other crazy 😱The solution would be for oldest to stay at his grandmothers house but I’m absolutely gutted to think that I won’t see him wake up and open his stocking etc. It might be his last year of believing in Santa (he’s 9) and this makes me so sad 😭 seeking advice, I don’t want to split them up but might have to for our sanity 😯

You have an incredibly tolerant grandparent!

Good luck I hope you find a work around it sounds very difficult.

Could he go to GPS as usual and your DH collect him on the way home from his night shift?

Would someone swap him for Christmas day? If that's better for you.

Have your eldest sleep in with you while your husband is working? Of course don’t ship him out on Christmas Eve!

Thanks both! We are lucky to have her. Yes, her house is on his way home so that’s something. It was either a nightshift or a long day - 7am-7.30pm

Can grandparents come and stay with you? Extra hands to sleep in with your oldest?

I don’t think he can swap tbh. He’s requested Boxing Day off as it’s DS birthday 🥳

Oh that's a shame

Is there anyone he can swap with? My nurse relative used to always do New Year's Eve over Christmas if possible and younger people would swap.

If not, then I don't know what to suggest practically but try not to beat yourself, you sound to me like you are doing an amazing job with extra complications and I hope you have an ok Christmas.

Why don't you ask the grandmother if she'll come and stay at yours instead that way you have the two adults you need and both the children are in their own home.

Christmas aside, my only advice would be to go back to your doctor. You and your family need sleep and the children need a settled routine. This isn't sustainable.

@canary1

Have your eldest sleep in with you while your husband is working? Of course don’t ship him out on Christmas Eve!

Really don’t want to ship him off on Christmas Eve but finds the oldest wherever he is and they end up fighting all night 🙁

Honestly, I would get a swap with someone for a Christmas day shift if that's possible. I know that buggers Christmas day but you can pick a different day to celebrate. I think these circumstances are incredibly difficult and you are doing an amazing job.

@ANameChangeAgain

Christmas aside, my only advice would be to go back to your doctor. You and your family need sleep and the children need a settled routine. This isn't sustainable.

We plan to, I’m up with youngest at 2am/3am most nights. Hopefully looking at getting him on melatonin but he’s only 5.

So your DH sleeps in with him every night? That must be a nightmare for you all, have you sought help? Is there a reason you can't sleep in with him with youngest in a different room? I hope locking was figurative, I wouldn't lock a bedroom in case of fire. Otherwise I agree with the pp who aid ask grandma over.

I don't mean this in a flippant way but most kids don't sleep much on Xmas eve night -is the issue that your son will be tired on Xmas day ? I'm sure the excitement will keep him going? I'm assuming your Dh has Christmas day and Boxing Day off which is actually pretty good even if he will need an early night or a nap at some point ?

Have one of the kids share your bed for one night.,"

How about moving Christmas to a different day?

Kids are going to be excitable on Christmas Eve anyway. Keep him at home. Have a picky tea, go for a winter walk and watch Christmas movies with hot chocolate.

If they don't sleep it's fine. It's Christmas.

I don't understand why it'd be any different if DH was there though, to be honest. I don't understand why your poor DS gets shipped off constantly and why you can't just teach your youngest how to behave.

we have to ship our oldest DS off to a grandparents house for a sleepover as our youngest disturbs his sleep, goes into his room, turns on all the lights, bounces all over him and tries to wrestle him

This must be incredibly disruptive for your eldest and isn't really a long term solution. Also the thought of people being locked into a room really makes me uncomfortable, what if there was a fire?

Is there any way a grandparent can come and stay at yours on this occasion? Then going forward I really think you need to look at other solutions, your eldest is the one who seems to be punished for his younger brothers behaviour by being sent away.

Sounds like your oldest needs to learn to stop winding up his little brother when their dad is trying to sleep. What are you doing about that behaviour?

Why does oldest need to be locked in with DH? Doesn't youngest need to be locked in with an adult and oldest can sleep undisturbed?
Do you and DH always sleep separately?

Why doesn’t you’re husband go sleep at the grandparents as a one off?

Christmas is a red herring here. The priority needs to be to get your DS’s sleep sorted. He, and you, must be exhausted. Go back to whoever diagnosed the ASD and explain what your nights look like. Melatonin has completely changed our lives.

@Marmite27

Why doesn’t you’re husband go sleep at the grandparents as a one off?

When he's at work?

Could t your husband go and sleep at your parents for one day ? Leave children in their own homes since Christmas ?