To think that going out drinking at 35+ isn't pathetic?

[CecilieRose]

I've seen quite a few posts on here lately basically implying that 'real grown ups' don't go out drinking/clubbing/to the pub/out late and I find it really irritating and patronising. What's with this idea that there's something immature about going out and having a good time?

I totally understand that people shouldn't be going out and getting smashed if they have young children to look after but what about childfree adults, and especially single ones? Are they just supposed to sit at home with a cup of tea because they're over some arbitrary cut-off age for having fun?

Before anyone implies it, no, I don't have a booze problem, but I do enjoy going out every other weekend or so, out for dinner and then onto a pub or bar, and often stay until closing. It hadn't occurred to me that being mid thirties, this would make me a tragic figure for some. There are plenty of people my age and older doing the same here in London so it's a bit baffling to think some people seem to consider it pathetic or immature. Why? If a grown adult has a good job and their life together, what on earth is wrong with going out at the weekend?

Going to a bar or a pub is different from a club especially at 35. I think clubbing every weekend at 35 is more for the younger ones each to their own though.

Oh but if you have anything more than a tot of Baileys on here at Christmas you have a drinking problem, so you’ll probably get some skewed responses.

Also I have a child, a baby actually, not single either, I’m 35 and very much like to go out and enjoy myself still- albeit in a lower key way than before. Next month I’m going to see the Libertines and get pretty tipsy I imagine. DH will look after the baby.

Pre baby i loved wiling away a couple of hours in a lovely pub with a good book and a couple of wines. All on my own!

I’m in London too OP and I do wonder if it’s just more of the norm to do that in bigger cities?

Do what you want when you want; it doesn’t matter what internet strangers think. I was relieved when age meant less pressure to go clubbing, but in my 50s I still enjoy a few drinks, a band or whatever, and don’t follow any ‘rules’ about it.

I'm early 30s and love a good pub or bar night out. Never been much of a clubber other than very cheesy places.
Christ I've go out with my mum who's in her 60s and stay til last orders...she's the one insisting we stay!

As long as DH and DS don't suffer the next day as a result (ie missed trips, broken promises, bad moods etc) then what's the harm?

We still your round UK and Europe for festivals, just that we stay in hotels now, rather than camp, we are in our 50's

Tour

‘Going out drinking’ sounds faintly depressing. I presume you mean having a night out with friends, which is far from pathetic.

I like going out with friends for dinner/cinema, and might go to a bar before or afterwards. I’m 45, with teens so don’t need a babysitter, but would feel very out of place in a city centre club.

Ooh I'm a few years off 35 yet, and I'm already a proper grown-up it seems! I've never been interested in going out drinking and I hate the sound of clubs.
Seriously though, it's not pathetic or sad, or whatever. I have kids and am quite happy to have a good excuse of why I can't do those things 😳 but I wouldn't judge those with kids for going out, as long as there is decent childcare in place.
If you're happy with your nights out and it works for you, I don't see a problem.

Or even a parent of a young child if the other parent is a reasonable human capable of care for a night? Or loving grandparents!

It's like it's criminal for people to enjoy alcohol and loud music once in a while. Why must it be dinner parties and early nights after 30?!

I dont think going out is immature but regularly and intentionally getting blind drunk I do find quite sad and immature

I'm 34 and still feel 24, I like nice bars and restaurants and 1-3times a year I'll hit a club and party. Life is too short not to have fun.

i'm supposed to be in blue rinse territory but i still go to rock concerts and music festivals. I wear pink doc martins, have pink hair and love heavy metal. Judge away i don't care i'm having a fab time !

Absolutely not pathetic. I don’t go out as much as I used to and when I do it’s probably slightly more sedate but still love a night out, a few drinks and seeing where the night takes us. Great to have a blow out from time to time.

'Going out drinking' sounds sad to me because it makes the focus of the evening about drinking alcohol, which most people grow out of in their 20s. I feel the same about talk of 'going out out' as it all seems to be part of immature excessive drinking culture.

If someone said they enjoy going out with their friends though then I wouldn't bat an eye lid, even if that meant sitting in a pub until closing time. The focus is on a social occasion with friends, not getting drunk.

I'm 45 and one of my favourite things is spending a boozy afternoon in a beer garden with my friends. Bloody love it!

@HelloDulling

‘Going out drinking’ sounds faintly depressing. I presume you mean having a night out with friends, which is far from pathetic.

I like going out with friends for dinner/cinema, and might go to a bar before or afterwards. I’m 45, with teens so don’t need a babysitter, but would feel very out of place in a city centre club.

Yes, but drinking, and sometimes quite a bit. A lot of people on here seem to think getting tipsy is some kind of crime!

I've never really liked clubs but I very much doubt I'd look much out of place in some of the big London ones at my age.

I would be sad to think a meal out couldn’t turn into drunken dancing and a 5am finish at any age. Gran could still do that in her 80s.

“Going out drinking” at 35+ is fine, but it’s a bit pathetic if you still feel at that age that you have to get off your face to have a good time.

Well I’m 37 and have quite an exciting (for me!) social life! My eldest are 17 and 16, I had many a quiet night in my 20’s (although did still manage nights out and weekends away from them although being young with dc meant most of my weekends were spent at home with dh and the little ones while my mates were all out), I’m determined to make the most of life.
Love going out for dinner and a few drinks with friends, or just out for drinks, going out to see a band, letting my hair down in general. Clubbing is absolutely not for me, but my god life is short, enjoy it while you can! And if that’s sitting down with a crossword and a cup of tea, do that.
If it’s going out to a rave, do that. If you enjoy both, crack on!
Who gives the tiniest shit what other people think? You’re not hurting anyone, ignore the judgypants.

I’m going out tomorrow night, it’s a school night so I won’t have more than 3 or 4 drinks but I’ll have a lovely time at a gig I’ve been looking forward to for ages and seeing a couple of friends I haven’t seen in over a year. Going for dinner first and I’m just happy to get to do things like this again.

I've never seen this attitude, but I would laugh at it. I fairly often (every couple of weeks or so) go out for drinks with friends, some of whom are well into their 50's. Nothing wrong with it!

I'm a responsible 53yo who has a high pressured responsible job, and grown up DC. I went out for Sunday lunch yesterday and came home plastered. Also to be found regularly in Ministry of Sound with my equally "irresponsible" sister who is older than me

I'm 43 and got home at 2am on Saturday morning after a fair few pints and a couple of shots. My children were perfectly happy with their other parent at home and I was generally present if a bit tired during the day. This is maybe once every 3-4 months, and I have a fab time.

It hadn't occurred to me that being mid thirties, this would make me a tragic figure for some

They will be people who think in ageist stereotypes, and they can easily be ignored