To think that going out drinking at 35+ isn't pathetic?

[CecilieRose]

I've seen quite a few posts on here lately basically implying that 'real grown ups' don't go out drinking/clubbing/to the pub/out late and I find it really irritating and patronising. What's with this idea that there's something immature about going out and having a good time?

I totally understand that people shouldn't be going out and getting smashed if they have young children to look after but what about childfree adults, and especially single ones? Are they just supposed to sit at home with a cup of tea because they're over some arbitrary cut-off age for having fun?

Before anyone implies it, no, I don't have a booze problem, but I do enjoy going out every other weekend or so, out for dinner and then onto a pub or bar, and often stay until closing. It hadn't occurred to me that being mid thirties, this would make me a tragic figure for some. There are plenty of people my age and older doing the same here in London so it's a bit baffling to think some people seem to consider it pathetic or immature. Why? If a grown adult has a good job and their life together, what on earth is wrong with going out at the weekend?

Too many variables.

Let's say a 35yo woman goes out with her friends, has a drink or 5, a meal, then goes to a decent bar that has music or to a club with a band or whatever. Thats different to a 35 year old dad, putting on skinny jeans and going out with his 18 year old son purely to binge drink, gets bladdered and hits on 17 year olds in a cheap nightclub with sticky floors.

Literally wasn't even aware that this kind of criticism was a thing. I am 41 and wouldn't think twice about a night out.

@Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername

I'm a responsible 53yo who has a high pressured responsible job, and grown up DC. I went out for Sunday lunch yesterday and came home plastered. Also to be found regularly in Ministry of Sound with my equally "irresponsible" sister who is older than me

you totally rock in my tribe !

I’m 43 and in the past month I’ve been to four gigs/nights out drinking, I honesty couldn’t care less what anyone thinks.

If you want to stay home that’s fine, but putting an arbitrary age limit on having fun is ridiculous.

I'm 42 and I sometimes like going out drinking, yes drinking to get drunk, having a great time/laugh/dance.

Yes I know you don't need to drink to have fun but it does seem all the none drinkers are usually off home to bed the right side of midnight 🤷🏼‍♀️

YANBU.

I’m 34 but still out most weekends! I don’t like proper ‘nightclubs’ anymore (unless I’m really pissed!) but love a bar with music, be it DJ, something playing on the speakers or band etc. Equally love a wine bar!! I know plenty of people in their 40’s with kids who are really sociable, fun people. Constantly at BBQ’s etc in the summer and nights out/ drinks at theirs in the winter, local gigs, festivals etc.

I do know what you mean though, I’ve encountered that attitude but all of the people I know who have a healthy/ fun social life in their 30’s and 40’s are popular people with lots of friends so it works for them!

I think it depends on venue, I went out for a younger colleague's leaving drinks a few weeks ago , nice cocktail bar, music, good times, it got to about eleven a DJ came on it was very loud, the same music I was clubbing to twenty years ago, lots of under 25s piling in, someone being sick in the toilets and young women getting groped by young men on the dancefloor. I made my excuses and left. If there had been live music, or just continued down the bar vibe I might've stayed longer, but I wasn't interested in getting paralytic or pulling and it got far too noisy for a conversation, and those places aren't very pleasant and quite boring when you're just slightly tipsy and over 25.

Sorry, I do find the whole drinking culture a bit sad. One or two drinks seems adequate and seeing adults 'tipsy' feels like immature behaviour. Sorry, you did ask for different views!

@FissionMailed

Too many variables.

Let's say a 35yo woman goes out with her friends, has a drink or 5, a meal, then goes to a decent bar that has music or to a club with a band or whatever. Thats different to a 35 year old dad, putting on skinny jeans and going out with his 18 year old son purely to binge drink, gets bladdered and hits on 17 year olds in a cheap nightclub with sticky floors.

The problem here is 'being a creep' though really, isn't it? If a 35-year-old single guy goes to a craft beer place with a date or some mates on a Saturday night, is that sad?

@Undertheoldlindentree

Sorry, I do find the whole drinking culture a bit sad. One or two drinks seems adequate and seeing adults 'tipsy' feels like immature behaviour. Sorry, you did ask for different views!

Why, though? I don't get it. What's sad about drinking? I'm not talking loud, obnoxious and falling around the place, I mean sitting at a nice rooftop bar or a craft beer place and having drinks and chatting. Why is that sad?

I'm not a big drinker but I do love a night out! Maybe it's a London thing?

I have young children, and I'm in my 30s but that doesn't stop me, or my mum friends, getting dolled up and heading in to town and rolling back home at 1am

I still think I'm hot and young! I still fit in to my cute dresses and heels.

And no, we're not the oldest ones in the bar/club at all! I was partying in (one of the) Soho house(s) at the weekend and it was jam packed with 30/40yr+

Some people are sad and pathetic and age before their time. Pity them.

I live in a suburban part of Northamptonshire in a small village on outskirts and mums of varying ages at DDs school go out for a few drinks with friends/partners without the kids every other weekend. I am a slob so like being at home in front of the TV. It has never dawned on me once that going out for drinks and to have fun at 35+ is a social faux pas.

I see my best friend for a good late night, chatting, food and wine but not that often. Would like to do more socialising and enjoying local pubs to me tbh.

Yeah I’m
33 - husbands 40 - we have a baby ! But will still
Be going to glasto (grandparents having the baby) will be going on a bit of a wild weekend.

We have tickets for a few club nights coming up too! Again these will be all nighters

It’s just less frequent these days cus we are parents now. But we will just ensure we have proper childcare in place so we can do our thing!

I love going out

As a number of posters have said, just popping out for a drink or 3 a couple of times a week, (over the age of 35,) is fine, but getting totally bladdered til you vomit, and acting like a teenager, and making a total tit of yourself IS pathetic and 'sad.'

I would be embarrassed for anyone over 35 behaving like this, and would not want to be associated with them.

@CecilieRose

Why, though? I don't get it. What's sad about drinking? I'm not talking loud, obnoxious and falling around the place, I mean sitting at a nice rooftop bar or a craft beer place and having drinks and chatting. Why is that sad?

No, that's not sad, that sounds lovely actually.

Well, mumsnet is full of the type of woman usually associated with the Karen meme. In a lot of European places the pensioners sit out and have a drink in the evening.

@LittleDandelionClock

As a number of posters have said, just popping out for a drink or 3 a couple of times a week, (over the age of 35,) is fine, but getting totally bladdered til you vomit, and acting like a teenager, and making a total tit of yourself IS pathetic and 'sad.'

I would be embarrassed for anyone over 35 behaving like this, and would not want to be associated with them.

I got out a lot. But wouldn't get plastered every time.

I'd say I get absolutely shitfaced, can't get out of bed the next day/feel like I'm dying type thing, maybe 1-2 A YEAR these days.

Happy memories

I think there is a certain type of person who morphs at marriage or children or a certain age into "boring bastard" and is then surprised that their OH isnt on the same page.

My mother and my BIL both did this and were both surprised when their spouses (my father and sister) didnt automatically sign up for "a nice cuppa and Morse". My sister and BIL have an arrangement now where she does her letting loose with me (no misbehaving fidelity-wise) and both are happy. My mother however is still, 50 years later, mystified as to why my father resents her being pissed off at him having the odd pint with his mates...and it is the odd pint like once a year at the most. We went out for a drink at the pub I was running at the time with a couple of people my father had been at school with. He was 70 at the time. Said he would be back "around tennish". He got a bit tipsy and at 10:15 she was ringing me in an almighty snit because he was late back. So he said "Sod her" and got another round in. She didnt speak to either of us for days, so we went to the pub again! And no, he doesnt have a drink problem but she has a control problem.

I know several people who did this and then couldnt understand why their OH's left them to their chocolate hob nobs and got together with someone happy to actually have some fun!

Oh and can I join the "old enough to know better" club? 48, pink hair, tattoos and own several pairs of docs!

I totally understand that people shouldn't be going out and getting smashed if they have young children to look after but what about childfree adults, and especially single ones? Are they just supposed to sit at home with a cup of tea because they're over some arbitrary cut-off age for having fun?

Eh why shouldn't I get ti go out drinking? If I've got a baby sitter then wtf is the problem?

I’m in my late 30s with young children. If we’ve got a weekend babysitter (grandparents) then we’d find the nearest music festival and start drinking beer! Or go to a restaurant and then a bar. Wouldn’t feel old or out of place either as we’ve changed venues from our 20s. However we would probably be home at a reasonable hour and not drink tooooo much because who wants to waste a child free morning with a hangover

I'm with you OP. There are some miserable sods around.

Well I'm 41 and I was out clubbing in London on Sat. Used to do it loads into the pandemic came along. Sat was my first proper clubbing event since Feb 2020. I'd forgotten how much fun it all is :)

*until not into

@FissionMailed

Too many variables.

Let's say a 35yo woman goes out with her friends, has a drink or 5, a meal, then goes to a decent bar that has music or to a club with a band or whatever. Thats different to a 35 year old dad, putting on skinny jeans and going out with his 18 year old son purely to binge drink, gets bladdered and hits on 17 year olds in a cheap nightclub with sticky floors.

#weirdlyspecific