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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that going out drinking at 35+ isn't pathetic?

312 replies

CecilieRose · 15/11/2021 21:52

I've seen quite a few posts on here lately basically implying that 'real grown ups' don't go out drinking/clubbing/to the pub/out late and I find it really irritating and patronising. What's with this idea that there's something immature about going out and having a good time?

I totally understand that people shouldn't be going out and getting smashed if they have young children to look after but what about childfree adults, and especially single ones? Are they just supposed to sit at home with a cup of tea because they're over some arbitrary cut-off age for having fun?

Before anyone implies it, no, I don't have a booze problem, but I do enjoy going out every other weekend or so, out for dinner and then onto a pub or bar, and often stay until closing. It hadn't occurred to me that being mid thirties, this would make me a tragic figure for some. There are plenty of people my age and older doing the same here in London so it's a bit baffling to think some people seem to consider it pathetic or immature. Why? If a grown adult has a good job and their life together, what on earth is wrong with going out at the weekend?

OP posts:
SpinsForGin · 17/11/2021 15:27

I'm not in the least bit defensive.
I just don't like judgemental people. Simple as that.

ShaneTheThird · 17/11/2021 15:34

Tbh I find adults who think you can only have fun with alcohol are boring and pathetic.

Occasional nights out, occasionally drinking too much not a problem, but adults who literally can't enjoy themselves without booze and think anyone who doesn't drink are boring are cringey.

LolaSmiles · 17/11/2021 16:03

I'm not in the least bit defensive.
I just don't like judgemental people. Simple as that.
Then you don't like 99% of the human race because everyone is judgemental on a range of topics and anyone who claims otherwise is bullshitting.

sofato5miles · 17/11/2021 16:15

Both sides of the camp are at least unlikely to meet socially to hash this out

SpinsForGin · 17/11/2021 16:33

Then you don't like 99% of the human race because everyone is judgemental on a range of topics and anyone who claims otherwise is bullshitting.

I agree, people do make judgements all the time but most decent people recognise that they are judging people and at least don't resort to calling people names because they happen to live their lives differently. I don't care what your views around alcohol are but I do care that you think it's acceptable to call people sad and pathetic for thinking differently to you. That's shitty behaviour.

This topic gets raised on MN every now and then and what always bothers me is the superiority . Those that choose not to drink/go clubbing seems to think they are better than those those do. You are right and they are wrong and therefore you're justified in calling them names. If they stand up for themselves then they're just being defensive because what they are doing is wrong.

LolaSmiles · 17/11/2021 17:29

I agree, people do make judgements all the time but most decent people recognise that they are judging people and at least don't resort to calling people names because they happen to live their lives differently. I don't care what your views around alcohol are but I do care that you think it's acceptable to call people sad and pathetic for thinking differently to you. That's shitty behaviour.

This topic gets raised on MN every now and then and what always bothers me is the superiority . Those that choose not to drink/go clubbing seems to think they are better than those those do. You are right and they are wrong and therefore you're justified in calling them names. If they stand up for themselves then they're just being defensive because what they are doing is wrong.
It's not about superiority between people who drink and don't drink, but that always comes up as an argument (along with the idea that anyone challenging prevalent drinking culture is somehow uptight and only drinks a thimble of alcohol at Christmas, or worse the funny claims that 'Mumsnet' hates alcohol).

As I've said countless times, I couldn't care less whether people drink alcohol or not, nor do I care about clubbing or anything else. The idea that people who question drinking culture are prudes with their cups of tea who never go out is all the way through this thread, along with the idea that people apparently object to adults drinking alcohol (which I don't think many, if any, have objected to).

I find the attitude that alcohol is the main priority of a night out to be quite sad. Plenty of adults manage to drink alcohol without it being the main event.

SpinsForGin · 17/11/2021 17:34

If you genuinely didn't care lolasmiles then you wouldn't keep repeating how sad it is.

miltonj · 17/11/2021 17:37

Of course it's not pathetic! And for the record you're also allowed to go out if you don't have a 'good job', 'your life together' or if you have kids!!

LolaSmiles · 17/11/2021 17:39

If you genuinely didn't care lolasmiles then you wouldn't keep repeating how sad it is.
I haven't said it's sad to drink alcohol and was pointing out that that it isn't the people who drink alcohol and go clubbing vs people who don't drink and/or go clubbing that you seem to be suggesting.

As I said, I couldn't care less if people drink alcohol or don't drink alcohol.
My issue is with an outlook where adults centre alcohol and openly say it is the main event of their socialising. It's fairly crap when a social event centres more on alcohol than the company someone is keeping.

Isitmeorthemm · 17/11/2021 17:57

@fissionmailed

I know a 42 year old who does exactly that!
He gets away with it because he is actually very good looking but it's still tragic when he's trying to pick up 20 year olds when he's pissed out of his face.

SpinsForGin · 17/11/2021 18:05

It's fairly crap when a social event centres more on alcohol than the company someone is keeping.

But nobody on this thread has suggested that this ever the case. It's the combination of friends, drinking and possibly even dancing that makes or so much fun.

Although I've had a whale of a time at various tasting events ( the best was a tequila festival a couple of years ago) so technically alcohol was the focus but the company definitely made it.

Ponoka7 · 17/11/2021 18:15

I envy people who have good local pubs that fairly local people go in. In my 30's to middle 40's we do a pub crawl in our area and the pubs would be full of different groups who'd we chat to. It was always a good night. The drinking went hand-in-hand with the socialising. We would have described it as going out drinking. We wanted to drink outside of our homes. Now there's only three pubs left, one has been destroyed by Weatherspoons, two changed by the focus on food, it leaves one, which caters to a younger crowd. It's a shame that the old pub culture died out.

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