To be angry that my relative has booked an event on the same day as my child's birthday

[Allsortsofroses]

I booked a venue for my child's birthday party and invited everyone, including this woman and her child (and husband if he wanted to go), about a month and a half beforehand.

I thought that was neither too much nor little notice.

She accepted.

She then contacted me weeks later saying she's booked her child's christening on the same day because she forgot, and says it's the only date she can get ).

She has now suggested another take her child to part of the birthday party while she prepares for the christening, but her child (and that relative, and her child, and partner) will have to leave the birthday party early in order to get ready for the christening etc.
In fact they'll have to leave before we could get to the cake cutting.

My partner has said tk forgoer about it, that we all know from previous experience that's she's selfish and dippy, but I must admit I'm trying hard to stay totally diplomatic about it.

What do you make of it?

I’d assume the birthday child is very young? There’s no mention of them being upset a friend has to leave early and the christening would imply we’re talking about babies/toddlers. Is that right? If so, it really doesn’t matter.

We may have been invited if not for covid rules.

What covid rules still exist around Christenings?

You're clearly not that close if you're not invited. Covid or no covid. I'm sorry but I think you're taking it a bit too personally.

Relaxing day out?! Moderately stressful couple of hours (maximum!) surely?

A child's birthday party isn't a whole day event.

Why are you avoiding saying how old your child is?

Admit it, you either hate this woman, or the world revolves around you?

This!!

Op, no one thinks you are right or reasonable.

OP you are cracking me up, this is such a mountain out of a molehill!
You clearly have an issue with this relative so aren't seeing clearly and you are creating a problem where there isn't one.

I'm with the 'this is no big deal' pps.

With all due respect, life for that day goes on regardless of whether it's your DC's birthday or not. She's doing what she can to have her child attend for part of it - it's very common for children to arrive late or leave early from parties because of other commitments.

@Allsortsofroses

Would you rather the other relative and both kids just didn't come now? If so, you should withdraw the invite for them all.

No, because I'd like to see my relative/friend and her family.

And I'd like them at my child's party.

But my relative/mate has to rush around and cut the event short because this woman accepts invites, and knows other people accepted an invite, but then books things on on same date.

Can't you just arrange to see the relative another time?

@Allsortsofroses ok but that's their choice to make.

You e still not said how old these children are and if they are under 1 they won't remember or care what great venue you've picked.

How old are the children in question?

@girlmom21

We may have been invited if not for covid rules.

What covid rules still exist around Christenings?

You're clearly not that close if you're not invited. Covid or no covid. I'm sorry but I think you're taking it a bit too personally.

Church of Scotland still have quite strict social distancing. Don't know what church ops relative is of course.

@GertrudeBElion

But my relative/mate has to rush around and cut the event short because this woman accepts invites, and knows other people accepted an invite, but then books things on on same date

Presumably your relative/mate can say no, and attend yours as planned?

Not a fkg chance.

It's her sibling's child.

She's stuck in this position because double booker has put her in it.

(We're relatives but also longterm mates).

@girlmom21

We may have been invited if not for covid rules.

What covid rules still exist around Christenings?

You're clearly not that close if you're not invited. Covid or no covid. I'm sorry but I think you're taking it a bit too personally.

Lots of churches are still implementing 30 guests to baptisms and weddings. It's down to the vicar.

@Allsortsofroses

But it's not a clash of dates.

She accepted an invitation and then booked this weeks later

Honestly, I do not commit birthday parties of other peoples' kids to memory weeks in advance. It's more like:

• send a text to say we're coming
• stick the invitation to the fridge
• see it and remember two days before
• Nip to Tesco on my lunch break to get a present
• Remember my kid has no nice clothes to wear
• Dash into Primark for something not covered in stains
• Drop them off at the party
• Dash off to do what I had planned before I remembered about the party

On the scale of events, a Christening outweighs a birthday I think. I would be pleased they're making an effort to still make sure their child attends tbh.

"Why are you avoiding saying how old your child is?" - for the same reason we aren't being told what the venue is - apart from relaxing and with "full facilities", I expect!

I think it's a pity those kids, and my relative/mate, can't enjoy the full facilities of the venue because they'll be too rushed.

Yes, I'd be absolutely gutted not to enjoy a mediocre lukewarm overpriced cappuccino whilst my kid fails to avoid the piss puddle in the ball pit. Gutted.

Here, have a grip.

She's not "making" your relative/mate leave early. Does this person not have the option to decline either invitation or not look after the other child? Just enjoy your dc birthday with whoever makes themselves available. How old are they?

She's stuck in this position because double booker has put her in it.

Not really. They could've both turned round and said they couldn't make your party, that logistically it's a nightmare dashing around. But no, they are trying to make it work but that's still not good enough for you. I don't think you'd be satisfied unless the christening was moved!

I don't understand the big deal.

Sometimes I think threads on here are created by a bored/desperate journo at the Daily Fail to create some content for the next day's website.

Not a fkg chance. It's her sibling's child. She's stuck in this position because double booker has put her in it (.We're relatives but also longterm mates)

She's hardly stuck in a position. No one else cares about your child's birthday party except you and their other parent. Honestly, this really isn't a big deal.

Can't you just arrange to see the relative another time?

Of course, but she has to half ass a party (I'm saying party but it's a day out loud party if you get me - with lots to do, see, lots of activities, rides etc). The kids will be taken away in the middle of it, not get to do a quarter of the stuff including the really fun part which the venue ends parties with etc. Because of this woman.

Op I feel like you are ignoring everyone who is telling you that getting baptism dates are a nightmare ATM. You have to grab the good dates with both hands and commit to it. Babies have continued to being born throughout the whole pandemic and they are still catching up in most parishes.

Also I'm desperate to know what sort of venue must be enjoyed across a whole day?

How long is your party on for and how long can they stay?

What age is your child?

Either way YABU, these things happen unfortunately. It's not a big deal.

Look, she obviously forgot about your child’s party / didn’t write it down / whatever

She’s still bringing her child whether it’s her bringing her or someone else bringing her to the party. Does it really matter if the kid isn’t there to watch yours cut the cake?!

Stop being precious. We all forget stuff