To be angry that my relative has booked an event on the same day as my child's birthday

[Allsortsofroses]

I booked a venue for my child's birthday party and invited everyone, including this woman and her child (and husband if he wanted to go), about a month and a half beforehand.

I thought that was neither too much nor little notice.

She accepted.

She then contacted me weeks later saying she's booked her child's christening on the same day because she forgot, and says it's the only date she can get ).

She has now suggested another take her child to part of the birthday party while she prepares for the christening, but her child (and that relative, and her child, and partner) will have to leave the birthday party early in order to get ready for the christening etc.
In fact they'll have to leave before we could get to the cake cutting.

My partner has said tk forgoer about it, that we all know from previous experience that's she's selfish and dippy, but I must admit I'm trying hard to stay totally diplomatic about it.

What do you make of it?

I've attended 20 different venues for parties, none have been more than 3 hours, most average 2.

A christening trump's a party.

A christening isn't a case of, oh I have a party that date I'll pick another, the other could be several months away.

I think the real issue here is you're smarting because you invited them to your party but they didn't invite you to their christening.

Jesus wept women, get off your high horse. Invite others in their place and have above day

@TastesLikeFeet "Posters also made lots of other things up too and others posters then laughed along, choosing to accept those things as fact."

You keep mentioning mean girls and looking for laughs but the op was present when the Christening mother was bad mouthed and talked about by numerous people her husbamds friends mil etc and then was two faced and invited this woman to her child's party...that's two faced...there's a saying you should keep in mind "don't tell me what they said about me, tell me why they were so comfortable to say it around you".

At the end of the day op has painted herself in bad light, she doesn't like this woman and even if she doesn't engage in saying saying nasty things about the woman she's present when nasty things are said and then expect the woman to consider her feelings....the op has NOT once mentioned the feelings of her own child in all this only herself!

there's a saying you should keep in mind "don't tell me what they said about me, tell me why they were so comfortable to say it around you".

I've never heard this before but I like it. It's a very good point.

Oh my good god!
I've just read 29 pages of this absolute shite!!

OP there's seriously something wrong with you!!!

1. It's a flipping child's birthday party... Chill out , nothing is worth getting this worked up over.
2. Christenings at the moment are very very difficult to get dates for so for me I don't see the problem that this lady has dared to have her christening on a date your child is having a party.
3. You come across as spiteful and petty about this lady. You are an adult with a child of your own now ..... Grow up
4. The mil sounds harsh and spiteful too.
5. You are getting way too much satisfaction from others hating on the woman... Again grow up.
6. So the poor downtrodden spouse is taking their child to your party but leaving for the christening but you are directing all your anger towards his wife??? Nuts just nuts.
7. I bet you are actually a lovely person but there's badness and a blackness oozing out of all your posts on this thread..... It's just a child's birthday party that someone can't attend fully due to a christening. Get over it, it's NOT actually a big deal.

You shouldn't even host parties if this is what it does to you.

So you invited a child to a party - the mum can't make it so she made other arrangements to get the child to it - and the child is still coming be it to only some of it- I'm not sure what the problem is?

TastesLikeFeet - you've made exactly the same sort of assumptions that you accuse others of making. Nobody knows exactly what was said - or how it was said.

What the Op has said was that Christening mum said that was the only date she could get - it seems reasonable therefore that she'd take that date.

I've hosted 24(ish) kids parties - something always goes awry, people don't turn up or they bring additional kids, or turn up half way through because of football/swimming etc etc. It is the nature of the beast.

The best advice I was given was keep parties short, the food simple and have an extra party bag.

All that matters is that the birthday child enjoys their day.

@Allsortsofroses

Why don't you just call up her MIL to have a good old bitching session. You'll feel better and get the reaction you're looking for.

No need, all her spouse's mates' have such a low opinion of her that I wouldn't need to call up a relative who lives a couple of hours away. They stahed an intervention when when got engaged to her, but he prjcedded with the marriage, against both his Mum and his mates advice

It's definitely me, her mother in law, all her spouse's mates etc who are all the problem. What a weird coincidence.

I'm not getting drawn back in again, thanks for all the perspectives (except for the posters on mn who who purposefully provocative and offensive on pretty much every thread, your usernames are not surprising, seen it all before to other posters).

My goodness you are bitter and unpleasant

maybe OP thinks men are too stupid to form their own opinions, who knows?

Given that the family staged an intervention to get the husband away from CW, I think they were all hoping that yes, he was too stupid to have opinions of his own. It's all CW, making the decisions and leading him astray.

Seriously though OP, chill out about it. You're not getting completely your own way for your child's birthday party. This is normal, we all have to bend a little and put up with other people doing irritating things. We cannot control what they do, but we can choose how we react to it. So you can choose to get wound up and vengeful or you can choose to shrug it off and enjoy your, slightly altered, day.

@TheBlessedCheesemaker

Ah, The MN of old has been resurrected, if only briefly before the thread dementors come and take down this down for not being supportive enough.

I know. It's like going back in a time machine

@TastesLikeFeet The majority of people on here have not called anyone a cow or a cunt or 'bitchy' (unlike you). You seem a bit obsessed with the "cool girls". I don't think there are any "cool girls" here: I just think there are an awful lot of people who are unimpressed by the OP's unpleasantness regarding pretty much anyone apart from her perfect MIL.

🧦

I think the child is aged between 5 and 7.

Wow. I'm about to tell someone I can't come to their birthday party this weekend because a family member wants to visit and I would rather see the family member than go to the party. The party host, I guarantee it, will handle it.

You sound pretty toxic to be fair. It's absolutely nothing to be annoyed about.

Mountain out of a molehill. She's made a mistake, as people do, and she's done her best to resolve it in a way that enables her kid to still attend your kid's party without losing her spot for the christening.

Your child will have many parties. Don't fall out over something so inconsequential, it just isn't worth it.

If you particularly want to see the relative who will be ferrying the children can you make plans to catch up with her on another day? You'll hardly get to chat to her at a kid's party anyway, so it might suit you to arrange a coffee or something instead?

Don’t let your friend/SIL sense this side of you otherwise you are likely not to see them for “yonks” again ….

@Othersideofthemoon

I think this is your ex-husband's new wife's child's christening. The friend/relative is your ex SIL (your ex husband's sister). I think this woman is the OW and the child coming to the party is your child's step/half sibling. I think you have got a grudge to bear against this woman, you are not invited to the christening as you are the ex-wife. You are cross because you want the day to be about your child and now it is about a newer/younger child who has possibly taken the limelight away. There is no mention of any other family having to cancel your party for the christening, if it was a cousin, there would be joint grandparents. I think the MIL is your ex-husband's mum that you were quite close to and have a bond with. If you won't tell us the dynamics of this family set up, we can only presume so many other options.

Why the fuck would OP invite her ex-husband's new wife / other woman to her child's birthday party? And surely if OP's ex-husband is the father of both OP's child and the child being christened, HE would object to the christening and the birthday party being on the same day?

She probably thought to her myself, my child's christening is much more important to me than Xs birthday party. Of course she was incorrect, your child's birthday party should be of utmost importance in everyone's mind and how dare she not consider it first when planning her own special family event. Who cares if the christening would have to take place next year, maybe after the child has outgrown an heirloom christening grown or perhaps when a beloved family member is unable to attend? Birthday parties are much more important.

@User4272946730203 didn't you see the post the other day where a woman got kicked out of a party because she'd got into an argument with her husbands ex wife?
It was the ex wife's friends party and the new wife hadn't been invited by the hosts but by someone's daughter.

People are weird.

Oh this is all still here! Fab! MN of old.

God i've missed all this sort of shite

It’s just a child’s party. It doesn’t matter whether the adults can come, the party child won’t care as long as you make it fun. And if they’re honest, nor will the adult! The only one really getting the rough end of this is the child that has to leave early. Arrange with your friend to come over another time when you’re less busy for a catch up - it will be better all round.

@Laiste

Oh this is all still here! Fab! MN of old.

God i've missed all this sort of shite

I know!!! It’s the beautiful gift of crazy that just keeps on giving

I don't know what is more amusing, the OP's hyperbolic posts (and I think OP has had enough fantasy and won't be back) or the somewhat insane in-fighting betwixt certain PPs.

@esloquehay

I don't know what is more amusing, the OP's hyperbolic posts (and I think OP has had enough fantasy and won't be back) or the somewhat insane in-fighting betwixt certain PPs.

It is fascinating. These long threads always go tribal.

Something about the swirling circular arguments punctuated occasionally by a poster who hasn't RTFT, with an occasional injection of a new nugget of info. by the OP. It's brain chocolate

[quote girlmom21]@User4272946730203 didn't you see the post the other day where a woman got kicked out of a party because she'd got into an argument with her husbands ex wife?
It was the ex wife's friends party and the new wife hadn't been invited by the hosts but by someone's daughter.

People are weird. [/quote]
Right, but that's a bit different to the OP inviting her own ex-husband's other woman to a child's birthday party!