To be angry that my relative has booked an event on the same day as my child's birthday

[Allsortsofroses]

I booked a venue for my child's birthday party and invited everyone, including this woman and her child (and husband if he wanted to go), about a month and a half beforehand.

I thought that was neither too much nor little notice.

She accepted.

She then contacted me weeks later saying she's booked her child's christening on the same day because she forgot, and says it's the only date she can get ).

She has now suggested another take her child to part of the birthday party while she prepares for the christening, but her child (and that relative, and her child, and partner) will have to leave the birthday party early in order to get ready for the christening etc.
In fact they'll have to leave before we could get to the cake cutting.

My partner has said tk forgoer about it, that we all know from previous experience that's she's selfish and dippy, but I must admit I'm trying hard to stay totally diplomatic about it.

What do you make of it?

I honestly don’t see the issue.

Yes it’s a little annoying, but overall why is it important? Is it because it’s someone your child is really close to?

I'd make ... nothing of it.

It's just a clash of dates and of no consequence to anyone in the long run

I don't understand why this has made you cross. She's forgotten the date but she's now arranging things to make sure her child still attends your DC's party while she's prepping for the christening. What more do you want from her?

depends what the relative relationship is- sister= fuming, cousin-= couldnt care less

That should have read "She has now suggested another relative take her child..."

The other relative is someone I've been quite close to, but haven't got to see much of her (or her child) because of covid etc. She'll have to leave, with her child and "double booker's" child, in the middle of the party. It's a medium sized where it would be noticeable. It's also cutting short and hugely rushing the kids day at the venue, which has a lot to do.

What's the problem? The kid is still coming for as much of the party as they can.

Mountain out of a very very wee molehill.

Does it really matter?

What do you make of it?
That you have issues with this woman and are looking for a reason to take offence against something that is no big deal.

I wouldn't think much of it. She can't come. One of those things. Her priority are different to yours.

And to be fair, getting a favourable date for a baptism are at a premium, there's a backlog!

But it's not a clash of dates.

She accepted an invitation and then booked this weeks later

Not a problem

I’m guessing your dc is very young? You need to roll with the punches when it comes to kids parties. Sometimes half the guests are down with the measles, and sometimes all the siblings stay!

I think your child is not the centre of the world, and to her, her child’s christening is more important.

I thought you were going to say that loads of people would now be missing your child’s party due to the christening, but in fact the only impact is this one family having to leave a bit early, is that right? If that is the case, I think you are over reacting. I would be a bit annoyed that she had got the dates confused, but as she’s trying to make arrangements for some/all of them to attend some of the party I would let it go.

Wouldn't really care about this. Kids party ambitions for me are low. Get birthday child there, get an unspecified amount of other children there to have fun.

That is just really no big deal. Kids often have to leave early from parties. They will be there for most of it.

If it's 6 or less at party- annoying, especially as it's at a venue.
7 or more- won't matter.

So her kids still coming to the party and you're not close enough to her to be invited to the christening?

I don't see the issue.

Either have child for part of party, no big deal if leave early or if it’s an activity where they need to be there for duration to make worthwhile eg pottery painting then just say it won’t work coming for part. It’s no skin off your nose if they come or not. At least you know in advance.

Depends how close to your child this ‘relative’ is……

Is it your sister? Is it your kids 1st birthday?

But actually I don’t think I’d care because in 10 years time no one will remember the finer details of that day.

unless you hold grudges

Nothing to get wound up about.

It's not like she's demanding that everyone drops out of your arrangements.

It's still difficult to get baptism dates around here as they are still catching up...plus loads are rushing last minute to meet the deadlines for school applications in January!

I would just shrug it off.

The kid is still coming for as much of the party as they can.

She's making my relative, who's also my mate who I haven't seen in yonks for various reasons (nor her daughter) leave half way through an event to attend her event, (which she booked on the same day after accepting invite to mine).

Are you invited to the christening

Is your DC going to be bothered? As long as their friends are there, what's the problem? How old will your DC be?

It’s really not worth getting so worked up about. Her child is still attending.