To be angry that my relative has booked an event on the same day as my child's birthday

[Allsortsofroses]

I booked a venue for my child's birthday party and invited everyone, including this woman and her child (and husband if he wanted to go), about a month and a half beforehand.

I thought that was neither too much nor little notice.

She accepted.

She then contacted me weeks later saying she's booked her child's christening on the same day because she forgot, and says it's the only date she can get ).

She has now suggested another take her child to part of the birthday party while she prepares for the christening, but her child (and that relative, and her child, and partner) will have to leave the birthday party early in order to get ready for the christening etc.
In fact they'll have to leave before we could get to the cake cutting.

My partner has said tk forgoer about it, that we all know from previous experience that's she's selfish and dippy, but I must admit I'm trying hard to stay totally diplomatic about it.

What do you make of it?

No kids party is a relaxing day. Ever.

Literally no one considers a child’s birthday party a relaxing day

The other relative had a choice to turn down the christening and just bring her DC to the party, or cancel coming to your party full stop, but she's chosen to do both. Just be thankful for that.

What are the timings of your child's party?
And what time will your mate have to leave to get the other child to get christening?

Have you paid an amount per child?

I'm guessing the children involved here are somewhere under 9?

This is such a non-event. Totally irrelevant.

No sane adult enjoys these parties so your friend won't be missing out - or even if she is, arrange a time to meet up when there aren't partying kids around, it's not like you will be able to have a full conversation anyway

@MsChatterbox

Wow so even on the day of her child's christening she's going to prioritise making sure the child still attends your party for a bit? I think this is fine and I would have expected her to cancel completely tbh!

She's said it would suit her to have her child out of the house so she can set up for her christening party, get herself ready etc.

If that's the only date she could get the christening then it trumps a kid's party and I'd not dwell on it. It's a shame some kids will have to leave early but if dates for christenings are hard to come by then that's the way the cookie crumbles.

It's also irrelevant that she booked hers on the same day you sent out your invite – she would still have had little say over the date she was given by the church. It's all down to availability.

@Waahingwashingwashing

No kids party is a relaxing day. Ever.

If you're hosting, yes. If not, they can be fine.

But it certainly ly diesbt help if you have to leave early abd have too short a time for your kids to enjoy most of the stuff at the venue.

It's highly inconsiderate.

She's said it would suit her to have her child out of the house so she can set up for her christening party, get herself ready etc.

I don't know a single parent who wouldn't have thought the same! It's a gift when a kid's party invite means you can get yours out from under your feet to get on with other stuff.

OP "AIBU?"
Everyone else "Yes"
OP "No I'm not"

Classic

I am just curious. How old is your child?

It's causing a family member I'm close to and her family to not be able to settle and enjoy the full party

You know adults don't enjoy other kids birthday parties don't you?

This really isn't a big deal. It's the only date she could get for her child's christening. If she'd cancelled to go to a different child's birthday party then you'd have a point.

No children's party is relaxing.

It sounds like you want to show off with this venue and party. How old are the children in question?

As for her booking dates, christenings involve way more VIP guests than birthdays. She likely had limited choice to work with the church and godparents.

Children's birthday parties are pretty casual affairs whereas a Christening is important.

She's still sending her kid to the party.

It's not a big deal, let it go.

@Loudestcat14

It's also irrelevant that she booked hers on the same day you sent out your invite – she would still have had little say over the date she was given by the church. It's all down to availability.

She didn't.

Read the op.

I booked, I invited, she accepted (a month and a half or more ahead).

Weeks later, she messaged saying she'd booked her child's christening for the same day.

@Allsortsofroses

But it's not a clash of dates.

She accepted an invitation and then booked this weeks later

Yes, it is a clash of dates. She accepted the party invitation, then found out that the only baptism date available was on the same day, so she booked it. The child is still coming to the party so I can't see a problem.

Surely your relative/mate could say no they already have plans that day (your DC party) if they really wanted to?

It's causing a family member I'm close to and her family to not be able to settle and enjoy the full party; and venue which has a lot for kids .... it will be a hit and run for them instead of the fun, relaxing day ot could have been.

Have you ever been to a kids party? Relaxing and fun are not accurate descriptors.

But my relative/mate has to rush around and cut the event short because this woman accepts invites, and knows other people accepted an invite, but then books things on on same date

Presumably your relative/mate can say no, and attend yours as planned?

What a load of drama over nothing! Your mate/relative who is now going to bring this child is not forced to attend, she could have told your other relative that she didn't want to and would just attend the christening. So the fact that she is coming for even part of the party is commendable. You are bonkers if you think you could catch up with her at a kids' party which you are hosting so if you want to chat with her find another time to do it! I see you still haven't told us what age your child is or what kind of party you are holding. And no, a child's birthday party is never relaxing, regardless of whether you are hosting or not! Most parents are delighted to dump and run.

It sounds like you want to show off with this venue and party.

Aibu is always crazy and a laugh, but the supposition/projection/whatever I'd often mind boggling.

I think it's a pity those kids, and my relative/mate, can't enjoy the full facilities of the venue because they'll be too rushed. That's not showing off.

That's means there's even less reason to be grumpy about this! She double-booked and she's tried to find a solution and the other relative has kindly said she'll make sure their DCs attend the party for a bit but that's not enough for you. If the other relative means that much to you, arrange a separate get together - it's not like you'd be able to sit down for a good old chinwag when you're hosting and other guests will be there to talk to.

How long will they actually spend at the party?