To be angry that my relative has booked an event on the same day as my child's birthday

[Allsortsofroses]

I booked a venue for my child's birthday party and invited everyone, including this woman and her child (and husband if he wanted to go), about a month and a half beforehand.

I thought that was neither too much nor little notice.

She accepted.

She then contacted me weeks later saying she's booked her child's christening on the same day because she forgot, and says it's the only date she can get ).

She has now suggested another take her child to part of the birthday party while she prepares for the christening, but her child (and that relative, and her child, and partner) will have to leave the birthday party early in order to get ready for the christening etc.
In fact they'll have to leave before we could get to the cake cutting.

My partner has said tk forgoer about it, that we all know from previous experience that's she's selfish and dippy, but I must admit I'm trying hard to stay totally diplomatic about it.

What do you make of it?

@Allsortsofroses

The kid is still coming for as much of the party as they can.

She's making my relative, who's also my mate who I haven't seen in yonks for various reasons (nor her daughter) leave half way through an event to attend her event, (which she booked on the same day after accepting invite to mine).

Well she's not making her, is she? It's up to your relative whether she wants to leave halfway through!

It’s not just the cake cutting ceremony that’s going to be ruined.
What about the seating plan?
This could cause family feuds lasting years.
Sounds like a deliberate attempt to sabotage your dc’s big day.
Definitely time to go NC with them.

@Allsortsofroses

The kid is still coming for as much of the party as they can.

She's making my relative, who's also my mate who I haven't seen in yonks for various reasons (nor her daughter) leave half way through an event to attend her event, (which she booked on the same day after accepting invite to mine).

Surely your relative/mate is choosing to do this?

I feel like you have your answer op.
Even if you don’t agree with the replies your getting, it hopefully might highlight that a lot of people don’t place the same importance on children’s parties as you. So probably what she though was organising the christening on the same day was a minor thing, and wasn’t her intending to cause hurt/difficulty for you.

If you're hosting, yes. If not, they can be fine.

Kids parties are a pain and boring and not relaxing whether you are hosting or not.

You obviously don't like this person because this is such a non-issue.

It's a half day due to covid would be a full day normally.

I've never hosted or been to a kids birthday that's been longer than 2-3 hours at the very most. They're usually 2 hours for very good reason.

Op how old is your child?

I'd have thought it would be patently obvious which party venues could take hours - well obviously not or so many people wouldn't be asking so why not enlighten us?! Wait, are you teaching them the latest spy techniques at GCHQ?

None issue op, the child will still be attending.

Get a grip.

A christening is more important than a birthday party. Just invite another child job done!

I also don't think it's obvious what kind of venue it could be. I can't think of a single place that lasts half a day never mind a whole day usually. Especially not one that is relaxing for adults but also has lots for children to do.

Please do tell us, I feel like I am missing out and my youngest is almost past party age! this is a matter of urgency OP!

YABU.

Sometimes people can't come to things. Your child's birthday party is WAY less important to other people than you.

Then grab one that's not on the same day as a event that you've already accepted an invite too, and that your relative (also a close mate of the party host) has already accepted an invite to, how's that for an idea.

Now you're being ridiculous and spiteful. Presumably you've never booked a christening before – you have to take the date you're offered or it could be weeks before you get another one. But you think the relative should've turned down the date just because your kid is having a party? You won't even say how old your DC is, so it can't even be a significant age.

Just uninvite them if it’s putting you out. Say it won’t work to be only there for part.
I’m bemused by references to all day and fun and relaxing - that’s not a child’s party.
I’m guessing yours is a First birthday at a fancy hotel. Relative has now booked similar Christening party same day. But hers trumps yours as it’s an actual ceremony not just a party.
It’s not worth stress. Have a nice party with the people who can be there.

Cop on to yourself, a christening is really difficult to get a date for just now, and is much more important than a birthday party, kids have 18 of those, but only 1 christening.
You sound salty that you've lost in a self perceived popularity contest between your presumably cousin and yourself.
Let it go, you're making yourself seem very petty.

@SirChenjins

Here's an idea - if it means so much to you why don't you look after the child for the day (pretend it's your DC's sibling - those of us with more than one DC host partners whilst supervising multiple offspring) and take it home with you afterwards? Then the woman can collect her child after the Christening or you or your partner can take it back home.

Job done.

What?!

I honestly think you're letting a general frustration or dislike of this person cloud the issue. It really REALLY isn't a big deal and she's made an attempt to accommodate both plans. You may have to move on.

''Then grab one that's not on the same day as a event that you've already accepted an invite too, and that your relative (also a close mate of the party host) has already accepted an invite to, how's that for an idea.

It's a half day due to covid would be a full day normally.

Desperate to know? Have you never attended or hosted kids parties? I'd have thought it would be patently obvious which party venues could take hours''

tbh I think YABU and coming off as rude and entitled

Christening trumps birthday party, no matter when they're booked. It's good they're coming at all. You're being daft.

OP, you just seem miffed that your close friend/relative has chosen the christening over your party.

I’ve also never attended (or want to) a kids party that takes more than around 2hrs

OP: AIBU?
Everyone: yes
OP: no I'm not

Then why post?!

@Blahdyblahbla

Cop on to yourself, a christening is really difficult to get a date for just now, and is much more important than a birthday party, kids have 18 of those, but only 1 christening. You sound salty that you've lost in a self perceived popularity contest between your presumably cousin and yourself. Let it go, you're making yourself seem very petty.

You sound salty that you've lost in a self perceived popularity contest between your presumably cousin and yourself.

There is no popularity contest, and even if there were; how exactly would I have lost when my relative m/friend is still attending??!!!

Logic - not even.

Absolutely no problem whatsoever - she’s doubly booked herself - clearly a christening on the only day available takes precedence - obviously. A children’s birthday party is really neither here nor there.
She’s let you know apologised and explained.
How on earth could anyone even mind let alone be angry ?

How comes you’re not accepting that you are being unreasonable?

@ChicCroissant

OP, you just seem miffed that your close friend/relative has chosen the christening over your party.

But she hasn't .