To be still be seething that DH got me a PEN for my 50th birthday?

[UserOfLotsOfDifferentNames]

Birthday was last month and I got really nice presents from friends and family and he got me that.

What does that say about how he feels about me I wonder?

He said he got it as I’ve just started retraining so am studying part time but it was only about £20 and he could have given me it separately if he really wanted to give me something for that.

For his birthday. I stayed up to make sure I got tickets for something he loved as soon as they were released online, booked a posh hotel as the event was some distance away and gave up my time to go with him when it wasn’t something that interested me. Came to around £350 and it wasn’t a milestone birthday for him. I also got cards and presents from younger DC for him. He didn’t take them to get anything for me.

This has just compounded the fact that he has little care for me at all and I feel quite sick actually.

A quality pen is a nice gift. I still have the lovely gold Messenger ink pen my Mum bought me for my 25th birthday and treasure it.

But it just wouldn't feel personal enough, or thoughtful enough as a gift from my DH for my 50th.

@peaceanddove you're right a quality pen can be a nice gift.

However this is neither of those things. It's a cheap thoughtless can't be bothered gift.

Well it's not a nice pen for £4.50

Buy an expensive diamond necklace from family funds

And never buy him a gift again

@peaceanddove

A quality pen is a nice gift. I still have the lovely gold Messenger ink pen my Mum bought me for my 25th birthday and treasure it.

But it just wouldn't feel personal enough, or thoughtful enough as a gift from my DH for my 50th.

And it wasn't a £4.50 biro

Seems fitting if you keep it for the day you need to sign divorce papers

🤣🤣🤣

I'm amazed the OP hasn't been told how ungrateful she is after the mince pie thread.

Well I was given a Mont Blanc pen for my 60th. I’m a writer, so it was pertinent but I use a laptop not ink … but really, I never look a gift horse in the mouth. A present is a present.

Did the Mont Blanc pen cost £4.50? There is no comparison in your statement. It's like saying 'I got a Rolls Royce for my birthday. Why are you upset you got a third hand Reliant Robin with filler in the wing? A car is a car'.

@RedHot22. I agree that I must have. So as you seem to know, what is the point of the thread?

My DH decided to up his game this year (after 23 yrs of parenting) and bought my 19 YEAR OLD DS2 a gift to give me. 19yr old finally has a student job so was, for the first time ever, in a position to buy something himself. Was annoyed with them both DH's gifts were, as usual, generic.. He's hopeless but I love him!

Mostly, before I saw this thread today, I'd never heard of Mont Blanc pens

@Pippi1970

I'm amazed the OP hasn't been told how ungrateful she is after the mince pie thread.

Link please.

Unless this is a wind up please god tell us it is op why in God's name are you with such a thoughtless, uncaring piece of shit.
I cannot even imagine anyone I know thinking this was acceptable. No one...... unless the relationship was well and truly over and you were in the passive aggressive acrimonious phase where you were trying to sell the house and divorce but aren't quite there yet....

Don't think DW got me anything for my 50th last month so you've done ok.

It is shit but if everything else in your relationship is fine then it just shows he is shit at gifts. If there are other things amiss then yes it is symptomatic of a wider lack of giving a shit.

I ask for what I want. That way I am not as disappointed.

Seen your updates and considering that you told him jewellery and he bought you a shit pen, you are right. He is an arse. Given that cash isn't an issue, choose what you want and pay using joint funds. Tell him that you are upset and that from now on there will be no thoughtful gifts for him either. He would obviously prefer to not bother with gifts.

Sorry but he basically doesn’t give a shit about you …am presuming his present sums up his general attitude towards you ! I would be gutted and am sure your children are embarrassed…presuming they are not old enough to go out and buy a present for you ..by their Dads thoughtlessness!

That's mean. I would be reviewing my relationship.

It's the lack of thought and nothing from the children.

I see it is the icing on the cake.

He may have checked out. It's not the money or the gift it's the total disinterest and nothing thought through from the children. That's not on.

Treat yourself sleep with his mate

Seriously, I think you need a conversation as to why and now what?

I don't think men are useless at buying stuff, it's just when they don't give a shit that they are. DH used to put a lot of thought into presents and bought surprises quite often when we could afford to overspend by £100s, now he mostly just gets what is on my amazon list which I am totally happy with as its much better if he buys stuff I like/want/need.

I don't think my DH puts any effort in anymore but at least he has the decency to pretend he is by getting me what I want.

On mother's day he did piss me off though, he works in a high street but forgot to get cards, he went to the newsagents the day before and asked the kids to write the cards whilst I was sat in the room. Sounds petty but it actually really upset me. We don't bother with all the commercial stuff like valentines day etc but have always done mothers/fathers day and I always put effort in for him.

@Prattypitel

Go to Ikea and buy something really nice just for you and pick up one of those free small pencils to give him.Tell him next year,you will get the pencilsharpener for him.