Entitled male tradesmen.

[EmKayEm]

Ok.
Had an issue with electrics, kitchen keeps tripping out.
Called a couple of people to come and look at the issue and quote.
One came yesterday, gave me a price, agreed the job, and arranged to sort today. I sorted with work to WFH for the day, as can do stuff around the power being off for a couple of hours.

Last night the guy messages me -
''Um...just wondering...''
"???"
"Are you attached?"
"Why? Does that have anything to do with my kitchen?"

He leaves it a bit, then comes back with

"You can't possibly be single"

Then

"Hope this doesn't come across as creepy lol"

I ignored this. But he still went on. If I had had a bad experience in dating maybe he could change that. He is, of course, "a really nice guy".

I messaged back that my personal life was personal and I would rather keep this strictly professional.

This morning, due at 9am, messages me at 08:15 to say he can't come today due to another job.
I message back to ask when he can, he is a bit vague. I tell him not to to bother, I will contact someone else.
He then messages me to say he was only being nice, I should take it as a compliment etc.

WHAT THE FUCK IS IT WITH ENTITLED CHILDREN DEMANDING ATTENTION???

I would have cancelled him coming around the moment he sent you strange messages to be honest.

Agreed, you should have cancelled at the first weird message and then not have continued the conversation. That's the only way they'll learn, hit them in the pocket.

I would name and shame him on sm. This happens all the time and is disgusting unprofessional behaviour

Revolting.

Disgusting. You should have blocked him after the first weird message.

Does he work for himself or for a Company if the later I would report him to his bosses.

Name and shame.

He is a creep.

Keep those messages.

I wouldn't want to be alone with him.

Telling you how YOU should feel?

Twat.

Self employed.
Tempted to name and shame locally, but not sure if it will make any difference.

Report him to check a trade

A female poster was encouraged by mn to contact a male tradesman that she fancied via text awhile ago ….

YANBU by the way.

@EmKayEm

Self employed. Tempted to name and shame locally, but not sure if it will make any difference.

If you mean a local fb group, be aware that mine don't allow members to "trash" the reputation of local businesses.

I don't know how it works in the UK, but to set up as a tradesman here in Germany you have to be a member of the trade association.
If this happened i'd be right onto them and the local chamber of commerce to complain.

And find a new one.

@Sparklfairy
Yeah, I know.
I am not interested in getting into a tit-for-tat over something.
It just really annoyed me that he decides to mess me about because ~I don't want to fuck him. After paying him. And making him coffee.

and yes, deffo keep the messages. Screenshot them too

I would not have allowed him to return for the job! This is not normal behaviour. It is really tricky to get trades in at the moment so you will have to keep trying until you get a normal person.

He fancied you and wanted to ask you out. Nothing wrong with that surely? But he's a tradesman so its unprofessional as now it's awkward. Best you find somebody else. He's lost a job. But not weird really?

However, here's where it is. His comments about you having bad dating experiences etc were over stepping the mark and ARE inappropriate.

Screenshot the text exchange and put it on SM. It's the only way creeps like this will learn!!!! I bet he himself is actually attached.

There is a real market out there for female tradespeople!!!!

@RiverSkater

Fancying me is understandable, I am an absolute goddess (I am joking there)

But it is the entitlement that gets me. I said no to his ham-handed approach, and all of a sudden he can't do a job that he is being paid to do.
Pathetically fragile male egos are not a turn-on for me.

It's awful. The deciding not to come, just because you won't go out with him. So unprofessional. The trying to convince you that you're somehow in the wrong because you don't want to go out with him.

It's just so misogynistic. Women don't know their own minds/are somehow in the wrong when they do know their own minds.

Infuriating.

Incidentally we can't get anyone at all to do jobs in this area. They say they want the job but just won't commit to a date. Infuriating!

Why did he ask beforehand?? Do the job and be professional. Then ask afterwards. By text. So you can say no if you want to and don't have to see him again.

Much more normal - people meet people they fancy through work stuff all the time.

By the way. There is a firm of plumbers (actually i think it's a franchise) who are all women. They are called the Stopcocks. So this may help anyone with plumbing issues and tradesmen issues.

Now what is needed is other firms like that - women lead electrician companies etc etc. If i had my time again it's what I'd do.

I’d name him and shame him locally if I were you. Other women should know he’s a creep.

Some guys seem to have no sense of appropriate boundaries, or rather they do, but they think they’re the exception.

Asking you out isn't a problem. But he should have waited until the job was complete and you were no longer a client. Basic professionalism.

I deal with this all the time, and it's at the point where my male flatmate now handles all contractors, because it's ridiculous. I tend to be too "nice" - chatty, smiley, open, welcoming, etc. And they seem to take this as a come-on. Even though I'm gay and most definitely not interested.

He was either entitled or embarrassed and didn't want to face you. Which is why he shouldn't have done it in the first place.

@Brefugee

I don't know how it works in the UK, but to set up as a tradesman here in Germany you have to be a member of the trade association. If this happened i'd be right onto them and the local chamber of commerce to complain.

And find a new one.

Lol - you think we have regulations in the UK to protect the public from incomptentence, dishonesty, correuption etc? lolololol

Yuk, so inappropriate. He could at least have done the job, in a professional manner, and THEN asked you, and that wouldn't have come across as creepy.