Entitled male tradesmen.

[EmKayEm]

Ok.
Had an issue with electrics, kitchen keeps tripping out.
Called a couple of people to come and look at the issue and quote.
One came yesterday, gave me a price, agreed the job, and arranged to sort today. I sorted with work to WFH for the day, as can do stuff around the power being off for a couple of hours.

Last night the guy messages me -
''Um...just wondering...''
"???"
"Are you attached?"
"Why? Does that have anything to do with my kitchen?"

He leaves it a bit, then comes back with

"You can't possibly be single"

Then

"Hope this doesn't come across as creepy lol"

I ignored this. But he still went on. If I had had a bad experience in dating maybe he could change that. He is, of course, "a really nice guy".

I messaged back that my personal life was personal and I would rather keep this strictly professional.

This morning, due at 9am, messages me at 08:15 to say he can't come today due to another job.
I message back to ask when he can, he is a bit vague. I tell him not to to bother, I will contact someone else.
He then messages me to say he was only being nice, I should take it as a compliment etc.

WHAT THE FUCK IS IT WITH ENTITLED CHILDREN DEMANDING ATTENTION???

*if he was not ‘if her were’ 🤯

@SeenYourArse

Im going to go against the flow here and say I’d take it as it was meant, a mis guided compliment, in hindsight he was an idiot to do this and if her were genuinely wanting to ask you out he’s gone about it totally wrong. However I’d have replied to the first message and said ‘ sorry I am yes’ see you in the morning! It’s not the rejection that has made him feel he has to cancel it’s the way you reacted, I wouldn’t want to face you after such a sharp response either.

Really?!

@SeenYourArse
No.
I should not have to pretend to 'be spoken for' to get a tradesperson to do a fucking job.
Does he message male clients and suggest going for a pint? No.
Entitled little cunt.

@SeenYourArse men should take no for an answer. Women shouldn’t have to invent a partner to make men accept a no.

@BornInAThunderstorm

Yes.

[quote EmKayEm]@SeenYourArse
No.
I should not have to pretend to 'be spoken for' to get a tradesperson to do a fucking job.
Does he message male clients and suggest going for a pint? No.
Entitled little cunt.[/quote]
You seem to be really, unnecessarily offended here.

You could have said "sorry, I'm not interested. I just need x fixing and was told you were very professional. If you're not able to do the job please let me know and I'll find someone else."

You don't need to tell him you're attached or otherwise but "entitled little cunt" is a really extreme reaction.

@Suzi888

A female poster was encouraged by mn to contact a male tradesman that she fancied via text awhile ago ….

YANBU by the way.

I don't see anything wrong with that, once the business transaction is over. He might feel the same and it could be a happily ever after.

OP might have felt differently had her tradesmen left it until all work was completed and payment made, then asked her out. But this would have been a totally different dynamic as there would have been no pressure to say yes or negative consequences (cancellation of work) by saying no.

Surely you can see the difference.

[quote BornInAThunderstorm]@SeenYourArse men should take no for an answer. Women shouldn’t have to invent a partner to make men accept a no.[/quote]
She didn't say no though. She gave him a non-answer then ignored him.

@Suzi888

A female poster was encouraged by mn to contact a male tradesman that she fancied via text awhile ago ….

YANBU by the way.

Which is totally different to the OP.

I would've cancelled the second he started with messages and asking if I was single.

@Brefugee

I don't know how it works in the UK, but to set up as a tradesman here in Germany you have to be a member of the trade association. If this happened i'd be right onto them and the local chamber of commerce to complain.

And find a new one.

There is no such requirement in the UK, except for certain professions/trades, such as gas installers.

Many areas don't have a chamber of commerce and in those that do, there's no obligation/requirement to be a member.

The UK is VERY lax when it comes to proper regulation/registration of many trades/professions.

Men aren’t idiots, they can tell when someone’s trying to put them off. If they keep trying it’s because they don’t care.
And it’s completely unprofessional to hit on someone who is coming to you for a service, especially if you’re going to have access to that persons home.

Lame come-ons are not a price women have to pay for trying to navigate their adult lives.

I didn’t mean invent a bloody partner obviously I presumed by your hysterical outrage you had a partner already! So you could’ve just said ‘no thanks’ that simple if you’d been polite and not condescending as though of course you wouldn’t date a tradesman, then you wouldn’t have had this issue. Yes of course he’d ask a bloke out for a pint if he was attracted to h8m, that’s what normal people do if they see someone they might like as a partner they ask if they might feel the same! Not complicated really at all how else should people find a relationship?!!

@MyrrAgain

Why did he ask beforehand?? Do the job and be professional. Then ask afterwards. By text. So you can say no if you want to and don't have to see him again.

Much more normal - people meet people they fancy through work stuff all the time.

This!

OP, he'll be registered with one of the certifying bodies such as the NICEIC www.niceic.com or NAPIT www.napit.org.uk

He'll almost certainly have the body he's regulated by showing on his van or on paperwork. Or just ask him — there are cowboys out there doing illegal electrical work and you need to be sure he's qualified and checked. I think they'd take a dim view of that behaviour.

I'd contact whichever body he's signed up to and make a complaint. He isn't safe to be working around women. This is predatory behaviour and many single women would feel extremely uncomfortable about it. I might even contact my community police officer and say how uncomfortable I found it and how scared I felt about him coming to my home when I was going to be alone.

Once he's done the work I'd also tell him I'd put in a formal complaint with copies of his messages. It will scare the bejaysus out of him.

I agree that it is OK for him to contact you, AFTER he has finished the work, and ONCE only. If you did not express interest, that should have been it. Tradespeople are entitled to like people they meet at work, like anyone else, but this is just creepy stalking.

@Shedbuilder

OP, he'll be registered with one of the certifying bodies such as the NICEIC www.niceic.com or NAPIT www.napit.org.uk

He'll almost certainly have the body he's regulated by showing on his van or on paperwork. Or just ask him — there are cowboys out there doing illegal electrical work and you need to be sure he's qualified and checked. I think they'd take a dim view of that behaviour.

I'd contact whichever body he's signed up to and make a complaint. He isn't safe to be working around women. This is predatory behaviour and many single women would feel extremely uncomfortable about it. I might even contact my community police officer and say how uncomfortable I found it and how scared I felt about him coming to my home when I was going to be alone.

Once he's done the work I'd also tell him I'd put in a formal complaint with copies of his messages. It will scare the bejaysus out of him.

In my experience, the certifying bodies aren't interested in anything but the most dangerous/shoddy work. The electrician in question will know that and won't be remotely bothered.

@user1497207191

You're talking total rubbish. Electrical work is only legal if it's carried out by a qualified contractor who is monitored and checked by one of the certifying bodies. I employ electricians. I know this.

@user1497207191

Oh, so now you know about certifying bodies, do you?

I would name and shame because it sounds like he’s using his trade as a guise for picking up women. He’s not interested in doing the work at all.

Regarding suggestions of using female tradespeople, I like the theory but in practice it has not worked out for me. I went to considerable lengths to employ an all female firm of plumbers for a job in my house. Woman came out to look at the job, informed me that she didn’t do ‘heavy jobs’, and left. Had to get a bloke in.

[quote EmKayEm]@SeenYourArse
No.
I should not have to pretend to 'be spoken for' to get a tradesperson to do a fucking job.
Does he message male clients and suggest going for a pint? No.
Entitled little cunt.[/quote]
This! You are fab.
Do report him the checkatrade or whatever and on social media.

@DrNo007

Regarding suggestions of using female tradespeople, I like the theory but in practice it has not worked out for me. I went to considerable lengths to employ an all female firm of plumbers for a job in my house. Woman came out to look at the job, informed me that she didn’t do ‘heavy jobs’, and left. Had to get a bloke in.

Yep, same here.

We used a female plumber for a couple of small jobs (a leak repair and a replacement tap), but when we asked her about replacing radiators, she said she couldn't do it because it was heavy work (these were only smallish radiators, not huge heavy things).

We also asked a female decorator to repaper/paint our hallway, staircase and landing, but when she came to look at it, she said she "didn't do heights".

Completely unprofessional.

I have no problem with men asking women out on dates for women asking men.
This should have been done AFTER the job was completed and all professional contact ended. And 'no'means no.

What is attractive - Turning up, maintaining your commitments, sparking a genuine connection.

What is not attractive - Messaging "umm..." late at night to a woman you've just met and have a professional relationship with.

He will be whining to himself that nobody wants a nice guy. Pathetic.