Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Entitled male tradesmen.

186 replies

EmKayEm · 11/11/2021 08:46

Ok.
Had an issue with electrics, kitchen keeps tripping out.
Called a couple of people to come and look at the issue and quote.
One came yesterday, gave me a price, agreed the job, and arranged to sort today. I sorted with work to WFH for the day, as can do stuff around the power being off for a couple of hours.

Last night the guy messages me -
''Um...just wondering...''
"???"
"Are you attached?"
"Why? Does that have anything to do with my kitchen?"

He leaves it a bit, then comes back with

"You can't possibly be single"

Then

"Hope this doesn't come across as creepy lol"

I ignored this. But he still went on. If I had had a bad experience in dating maybe he could change that. He is, of course, "a really nice guy".

I messaged back that my personal life was personal and I would rather keep this strictly professional.

This morning, due at 9am, messages me at 08:15 to say he can't come today due to another job.
I message back to ask when he can, he is a bit vague. I tell him not to to bother, I will contact someone else.
He then messages me to say he was only being nice, I should take it as a compliment etc.

WHAT THE FUCK IS IT WITH ENTITLED CHILDREN DEMANDING ATTENTION???

OP posts:
Keke94LND · 11/11/2021 09:40

I think it's important to put the correct label on instances like this, he was sexually harassing you, eugh!

MuthaFunka61 · 11/11/2021 09:42

I know Stopcocks and have used them numerous times,it's a great company.

Locally there's a company named Miss Electrical,another all woman business who're efficient and professional. Plus they tidy up after themselves.

Maybe a women run trade directory on Mn would be useful.

CharityDingle · 11/11/2021 09:43

@pjahsy

I would have cancelled him coming around the moment he sent you strange messages to be honest.
Definitely.
LynetteScavo · 11/11/2021 09:44

I can't believe you didn't tell him you no longer required his services after he asked if you were single.

What a dick!

I'd find someone else, and if they're have decent massively big them up on local social media, hinting that other tradesmen in the area are not always appropriate.

Samcro · 11/11/2021 09:45

tradesman not men. it was one tradesman.

Eddielzzard · 11/11/2021 09:45

Revolting. Deeply unattractive

Helloise · 11/11/2021 09:46

I have had shit like this from two different tradesmen in the last couple of years- one who stopped at the door to say "I normally don't do this but could I take you out?" and another who sent me a topless photo with his shorts pulled down to show the top of his pubic hair, followed up immediately with "oh sorry that was a progress pic for my personal trainer". In both instances they were sole traders so I couldn't even report them to anyone (though I did consider reporting the second one to the police... maybe I should have).

And of course there was the joiner who came a couple of weeks ago to repair a broken stair and who directed all of his questions, comments about what he was doing, and all of his chitchat about" how lovely these old Georgian terraces are, they don't make 'em like they use to" to my daughter's visiting 19 year old boyfriend. And no, the boyfriend has no interest in architecture or woodwork, and was very confused. Still, any random male must have more authority over and interest in my home than I, the middle aged woman who bought and paid for it.

Harlequin1088 · 11/11/2021 09:49

What a revolting entitled shitbag. Name and shame on social media and/or to his company if he works for someone else. Other more vulnerable women might fall prey to this shit.

Helloise · 11/11/2021 09:51

@Samcro

tradesman not men. it was one tradesman.
Many women on this very thread including me will have experienced everything from a bit of patronising old-school sexism up to frightening and blatant sexual harassment from multiple tradesMEN. In their own homes! It's fucking endemic and if you don't like it, take it up with the tradesMEN who are acting like this instead of the women who are trying to support each other in this thread.
TasteTheMeatNotTheHeat · 11/11/2021 09:56

Name and shame him on a relevant Facebook page where people tend to ask for tradie recommendations.

Patapouf · 11/11/2021 09:58

Fucking creepy. Why are some men so disgusting and incapable of being professional?

Brefugee · 11/11/2021 10:01

tradesman not men. it was one tradesman.

haha - i was waiting for the NATMALT.

A directory would be good - it needn't even be women only companies (although that could be flagged) just ones that take this kind of harassment seriously.

A register that companies could sign up to with standards, so that you'd know they were ok would be good. (always thankful to live in Germany when i read things like this)

samesign · 11/11/2021 10:06

Omg he thinks the reason your not interested is because you've had a bad dating experience and he could change that 😂 what a knob.
People just don't think and jump to their own conclusions before they say something.
The very thought of getting with him after paying him and making him coffee, he does sound like a very self entitled twat.

PopsicleHustler · 11/11/2021 10:07

I have my eldest son round or my husband home when tradesman come to the house. I dont even.open the door to parcel delivers. I tell them they can leave at the door and thanks for dropping it off.
I dont like.being alone at home with tradesman. They could steal something or worse, try it on or whatever. My dad was the same. He would take the day off if we needed workmen to come.to the house to do something as my mum is partially blind and had other health issues that very much impact her mental wellbeing. So he would be her support and then eventually he dropped work altogether and became her carer.

JohnKettleyIsAWeatherman · 11/11/2021 10:09

Reminds me of ordering a meal delivery, one time during my single days, and having the middle-aged driver rock up asking questions like 'is your husband home?' before presenting me with a crappy calling card he'd had printed up from somewhere like Vistaprint with his name and number on (i.e. nothing to do with the food outlet he was delivering from) and telling me to ring him if I ever wanted a free meal. I reported him.

RosiePosieDozy · 11/11/2021 10:10

Lucky escape. I would have immediately cancelled when he started asking if you're single. He is meant to be a professional.

Watchingyou2sleezes · 11/11/2021 10:12

That's a complete liberty. If he'd been, done the job and you'd had a bit of banter beyond the usual then maybe it wouldn't have been as bad.
Good job he doesn't work for someone or he'd be out on his arse for this.

DeeCeeCherry · 11/11/2021 10:13

I had similar, and cancelled immediately. This guy had taken it upon himself to add me on Whatsapp(!), looked at my pic then commented/innuendo. Fucking cheek.

When I cancelled he messaged back saying 'I bet youre a slag anyway'. To which I replied 'I can't be much of one then as I wouldnt touch you with someone else's', then told him I'd report him to the police if he harassed me.

Then theres the washing machine engineer who smilingly told me most times when he has to do a repair it's because woman's lacey knickers are stuck somewhere in the machine🙄. I reported him to his company.

I only call Tradeswomen now.

Sorry OP. Its the pits isn't it.

NAMALT's can get lost

girlmom21 · 11/11/2021 10:18

I don't think this is entitlement though, is it.

Yeah it was a bit inappropriate using your number, which you'd given him for work reasons, for his personal gain, but you could've just cancelled the work and told him you're not interested.
Block his number if you're that bothered.

He's probably been watching too much "plumber fixes young woman's pipe work" porn Envy

foreverandalways · 11/11/2021 10:18

I had a male doctor tell me that I look good for my age on Tuesday !!! WTAF....😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

Mochudubh · 11/11/2021 10:24

Sounds weird. Surely if you fancied a potential client a normal person would turn up to do the job, have a bit of a chat (and possibly suss out the relationship status), finish up then maybe suggest going for a drink sometime.

Or maybe that's my sensible woman-brain talking.

Hardybloodyhar · 11/11/2021 10:24

@Helloise

I have had shit like this from two different tradesmen in the last couple of years- one who stopped at the door to say "I normally don't do this but could I take you out?" and another who sent me a topless photo with his shorts pulled down to show the top of his pubic hair, followed up immediately with "oh sorry that was a progress pic for my personal trainer". In both instances they were sole traders so I couldn't even report them to anyone (though I did consider reporting the second one to the police... maybe I should have).

And of course there was the joiner who came a couple of weeks ago to repair a broken stair and who directed all of his questions, comments about what he was doing, and all of his chitchat about" how lovely these old Georgian terraces are, they don't make 'em like they use to" to my daughter's visiting 19 year old boyfriend. And no, the boyfriend has no interest in architecture or woodwork, and was very confused. Still, any random male must have more authority over and interest in my home than I, the middle aged woman who bought and paid for it.

The jokes write themselves.
RB68 · 11/11/2021 10:25

Nothing wrong with him texting to ask out etc AFTER the job was done in a professional matter.

IntermittentParps · 11/11/2021 10:27

After paying him. And making him coffee.
I thought he HADN'T done the job yet? have I misunderstood?
Obviously YANBU either way and he's a fucking creep.
I'd absolutely warn people off him on Facebook or wherever. It's not 'trashing' if you keep it factual and calm.

SeenYourArse · 11/11/2021 10:29

Im going to go against the flow here and say I’d take it as it was meant, a mis guided compliment, in hindsight he was an idiot to do this and if her were genuinely wanting to ask you out he’s gone about it totally wrong. However I’d have replied to the first message and said ‘ sorry I am yes’ see you in the morning! It’s not the rejection that has made him feel he has to cancel it’s the way you reacted, I wouldn’t want to face you after such a sharp response either.