Bridezilla?

[weddingdramagreat]

Live in London, getting married 3 hours outside of London in my hometown in March.

I have invited the 3 bridesmaids down the evening before to have dinner together and to make things easier as we are up reasonably early the next day.

We are paying for the dresses, hair and makeup, accommodation and all food and drink over the weekend.

The caveat is that they are sharing rooms (2 in one and the other in a room with her husband).

One is now refusing to come down the night before because she hates sharing rooms and says 'it's ridiculous to be asked to share at our age' (we are all 32). She's single and no kids so has no commitments in London she needs to stay for.

Travelling down the morning of the wedding means things could go wrong / she might be late etc and also I was hoping to spend the morning with my close friends on my wedding day.

AIBU to think it's ok to share rooms occasionally in times like this, just for 2 nights? Or are we being demanding / stingey?

I don't think anyone should have to share a room if they aren't comfortable to

Are they normally friends? Tell her she can have her own room if she pays for it

If she wants her own room she can pay for it, you are being more than reasonable.

Yes we all went to uni together and lived together and travelled together after

And being single and child free doesn't mean you enjoy staying away from home or sharing with someone

Perfectly fine. If she doesn't like it, suggest she pays the difference.

No, I wouldn’t want to share a room at that age. She could have any number of medical issues which she wishes to keep private.

Yes, you are being stingy.

@cowburp I that. If it was me (and it has been) I have just sucked it up to support my friends!

She can piss off and pay for her own room then. Entitled much?!

What's she planning on doing the other night? Travelling back?

I wouldn't share a room but I would be happy to pay for it.

Can you get another room? Did you ask them before making this plan or has she changed her mind? If they don’t know each other well I can see how she feels.

I’ve shared a bed with a friend the night before another friends wedding but we’re all like sisters and I think it was our idea.

You can’t make her do it so what are the other options?

I don’t think her being single or not having kids is anything to do with it, it doesn’t oblige her to do something she’s not comfortable with.

[quote weddingdramagreat]@cowburp I that. If it was me (and it has been) I have just sucked it up to support my friends![/quote]
Maybe it's a step too far and she doesn't want to suck it up. You should support her if she's your friend. She might have medical needs. Or snore. Or whatever.

Give her the option to pay the difference for single rooms?

She's single and no kids so has no commitments in London she needs to stay for.
This is extremely patronising. I'm wondering if she's staying away because you seem to give no weight to the life she leads in London. There are commitments other than a spouse and kids, you know.

She’s right, you shouldn’t be asking them to share.

You offered a room, she doesn't want it, fine. She's a grown up, you can't tell her where to sleep.

It's fine for her not to want to share but paying for their accommodation at all is generous so she can't expect you to pay for separate rooms. If she doesn't want to pay the difference herself then you'll just have to accept her decision to come up in the morning. It's a shame but nothing you can do.

So she'll share a room the night of the wedding but not the night before?

Honestly I'd let this go.

She had a choice to pay for a room of her own OR travel the morning of the wedding (and evening given she doesn't want to share).

Don't micromanage. She's entitled to make choices for herself.

@PleasantBirthday

You offered a room, she doesn't want it, fine. She's a grown up, you can't tell her where to sleep.

Basically this. You offered and she declined, so don't let it upset you. Just crack on and have a good time with your 2 other bridesmaids until she shows up.

Meh - in her shoes I'd not want to share either. On any of the nights. And if you want here there overnight "just in case" then you ought to pay for it.

In my friendship group sharing rooms would be usual. And we're 50 something women with husbands and kids.
So I don't think YABU.
.but she can if she likes get her own room.

Expecting close female friends to all have separate rooms is weird to me.
But she can decide for herself.

She can pay for her own room if she doesn’t like what you are offering.

I think she's being precious and if I was in her position I'd just suck it up and share a room however, I do also agree that if she doesn't want to there's not much you can do other than tell her she can pay for her own room if she wants.

@SilentPanic

"The life she leads in London"

I live 5 minute walk from her and see / speak the time. It's not some distant world I don't have a clue about.