Bridezilla?

[weddingdramagreat]

Live in London, getting married 3 hours outside of London in my hometown in March.

I have invited the 3 bridesmaids down the evening before to have dinner together and to make things easier as we are up reasonably early the next day.

We are paying for the dresses, hair and makeup, accommodation and all food and drink over the weekend.

The caveat is that they are sharing rooms (2 in one and the other in a room with her husband).

One is now refusing to come down the night before because she hates sharing rooms and says 'it's ridiculous to be asked to share at our age' (we are all 32). She's single and no kids so has no commitments in London she needs to stay for.

Travelling down the morning of the wedding means things could go wrong / she might be late etc and also I was hoping to spend the morning with my close friends on my wedding day.

AIBU to think it's ok to share rooms occasionally in times like this, just for 2 nights? Or are we being demanding / stingey?

Maybe she was hoping you'd offer to pay for a room for her?

Either way she's said that she'll travel on the morning so that's that!

She'll maybe x´change her mind before March, but even if not, it's not as if she's refusing to come at all.

Sharing with a friend isn't the same as sharing with your husband!

Don’t even worry about it 😁

If she doesn’t want to stay the night before it’s no biggie she can come on the day and if she misses out on the morning then that’s on her, honestly don’t even sweat it, you’ll have a lovely day whether she’s there or not 😁

I don't like sharing rooms, I would offer to pay whatever the difference is, to have a room of my own, if I were in her shoes. Otherwise, travelling in the morning sounds fine to me.

The OP used to live with the bridesmaid and has been on holiday with her recently where she was sharing a room - yes it's possible that she has recently developed a medical problem that means she isnt comfortable sharing, but in this particular case, it sounds unlikely

I’m not a fan of sharing a room and like my own space. But if the bride is paying a room, I’d either suck it up or pay for my own room

Would she have to take time off work to get there on time? Maybe she doesn't want to use up the annual leave.

Honestly all this guff about 'medical issues' etc etc really is (I hate to say it but in this case it's true ...) very 'snowflake' generation.

Bollocks to that.
I have digestive problems. It manifests itself in me having the shits a lot, and it smells as though something crawled up my arse and died. The shitsplosions are loud and disgusting, even for me, and it is embarrassing for me and anyone who has to put up with it. I need somewhere I know I can use a toilet instantly, sharing just doesn't cut it. Very few of my friends know about this.
I also have insomnia and often watch TV, read or listen to podcasts. I can't do that while sharing.

So no, I'm not a snowflake and I don't need to get over myself. I don't like to inflict that on anyone, and I also wouldn't want to force anyone to disclose things like that (their reasons for not wanting to share

Itv will be fine on the day

Nope, not sharing a bed as adult women. I just like my own space and room. I wouldn't want to share either.

[quote weddingdramagreat]@Hoppinggreen the reason is she just doesn't want to.

We went on holiday in the summer and she shared, she complained about it but didn't suggest paying more for her own room.[/quote]
She shouldn't have to want to though. It's fine for her to want to do her own thing.

Weddings can be very stressful for the bride but there are some things you can't control and have to let go of. She's your friend, a long standing friend. Don't let stressing about everyone not doing what you want tarnish that.

@RedCarsGoFaster

She can piss off and pay for her own room then. Entitled much?!

how is she entitled?

She doesnt want to share she hasn't requested or demanded anything, its the OP requesting her to do something and she has simply said 'no, I'm uncomfortable' which is her right.

OP chose a venue 3 hours away for an event entirely for herself, no one has to go or do anything if they don't want to when it inconveniences them (and that includes the inconvenience of being uncomfortably forced to share a room).

I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at sharing a room. You are not being a bridezilla.

I think if they know each other they are being ridiculous. When I went on my hen do I shared a triple room with two good friends, I was 28 at the time. We had a blast.

She shouldn't have to share if she doesn't want to but it was really generous of you to pay for the rooms. If she doesn't like it then she can pay for a separate room. If she doesn't like that then I guess the only other option is for her to travel down on the day.

I can see why you'd be disappointed. But other than paying for another room what choice do you have?

I had to share not just a room but a bed with a girl I'd only met that day during my friends hen party. I didn't mind but some people wouldn't be comfortable with it.

I do think you've been really kind though and not sure why you're getting a hard time. You're definitely not a bridezilla. I've never been to a wedding and had accommodation covered, even when I've been a bridesmaid.

@CharityDingle

I don't like sharing rooms, I would offer to pay whatever the difference is, to have a room of my own, if I were in her shoes. Otherwise, travelling in the morning sounds fine to me.

What difference?

Surely she either shares a room or pays for one herself?

So other bmaids get a free room & she doesn't?

Why don’t you just book an extra room for her and be done with it? It’s a one off.

She’s being precious. It’s 2 nights for her best friend

However if she is adamant then that’s fine, she can sort her own accommodation out for the wedding night, as I assume she won’t want to share then either, and you just share a meal the night before with those who will be there

If she doesn’t get there in time on the day then just carry on without her

It's hilarious that so many threads bash women with

'Why didn't you say no if your uncomfortable, you don't need to justify it you're a grown up act like it'

and then someone comes on and says

'my friend/family/neighbor said no to me because they claim they are uncomfortable AIBU to expect them to do as I say'

and the responses are always

'What a rude, entitled bitch how dare she say no to you? and her justification isn't good enough because X, Y, Z'

@mam0918 you are spot on!

She’s a bridesmaidzilla. Don’t listen to Mn they hate weddings! You sound very generous your friend is being being difficult

I couldn't share a room; I would be awake all night, I can't stand any snoring or any breathing if truth be told.
why do people think it's okay to expect people to be out of pocket to take part in their wedding? You should get her a separate room.

@Lasair

She’s a bridesmaidzilla. Don’t listen to Mn they hate weddings! You sound very generous your friend is being being difficult

She's hardly stopping the wedding from happening is she?

[quote weddingdramagreat]@Hoppinggreen the reason is she just doesn't want to.

We went on holiday in the summer and she shared, she complained about it but didn't suggest paying more for her own room.[/quote]
YANBU

It's for one night. She can suck it up or come down on her own in the morning. Just tell her you'll see her there, then.

What time is the wedding

She doesn’t have to share if she doesn’t want to but equally she didn’t have to accept the role of bridesmaid with the responsibility it entails if she didn’t want to.

If she won’t stay in the accommodation you’ve paid for and won’t pay for her own and wants to drive up all good but…

If damn well be expecting her to arrive in time to get ready with everyone else in the morning. It’s your wedding not hers. If she wants the important position of bridesmaid in your wedding and the esteemed place within your friendship she needs to show she can support her friend on her wedding day.

Nobody likes a glory supporter.

*I’d