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AIBU?

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Original poster

Childcare issues at xmas

230 replies

Cherrytree1621 · 09/11/2021 11:36

Dh has had to take a new job due to personal issues meaning he will no longer be off 23rd and Xmas eve to look after our 5 year old and 10 month old. I've asked my work to have it off, they've said there's too many off already. So any advice on what to do?

OP posts:
Thehop · 09/11/2021 11:41

What area are you in? People may be able to make recommendations?

Local childminder or uni student hime for holidays?

Local nurseries often close, maybe ask if a staff member will babysit?

Justcallmebebes · 09/11/2021 11:50

Any family who can help?

ArblemarchTFruitbat · 09/11/2021 12:15

Can your DH not say it was pre-booked holiday?

AudacityBaby · 09/11/2021 12:27

I'm loathe to suggest it as it contributes to the narrative that childless people will just work all of the holidays, but have you spoken to colleagues to see whether any of them would take one or both of the shifts for you? (I'd consider offering them a payment to do it, to be honest, as it at least shows that you don't take it for granted and you're likely to have to pay someone to do something here).

caketiger · 09/11/2021 12:38

Take unpaid leave, speak to HR about parental leave

SW1amp · 09/11/2021 12:41

You've got 6 weeks to find a temporary nanny or childminder to look after them for them day

Look on Bubble/Childcare/Nextdoor/Facebook groups and find someone to do a couple of days of childcare for you

RedskyThisNight · 09/11/2021 12:41

Parent of one of your children's friends? (with you returning the favour at another point obviously). Or you'll have to pay for a babysitter.

AndTime · 09/11/2021 13:12

I would tell DH employer that it was pre-booked and can't be changed. failing that, family or friends?

gogohm · 09/11/2021 13:15

Local teen back from university is your best bet. Or a favour from a friend. Asking 6 weeks out was always a long shot, they need cover

Bushkin · 09/11/2021 13:16

What is their usual childcare?

JetRocket · 09/11/2021 13:18

I do think ‘jeez’ when I read these threads.

I’d not feel at all comfortable leaving my 10mo in the care of a ‘teen back from uni’ or a stranger off the internet.

Personally I’d put this at DH’s door. Either he finds family/friend/trusted professional cover or he stays home even if he has to ring in sick xx

RacketeerRalph · 09/11/2021 13:26

@Bushkin

What is their usual childcare?
DH. He can't do it this year.

Most nurseries and holiday schemes don't cover Christmas week and sometimes the 2 week period. Thankfully my child's nursery is open until Christmas Eve but there's not a holiday club or play scheme I can get DS in to and all childminders round here are full.

OP I'd ask specific colleagues if there's any chance they'd swap but failing that, look for a nanny cover as it's just for 2 days, I'd be very worried about leaving a 10 month old being left with a uni student.

Nonnymum · 09/11/2021 13:28

I agree with JetRocket. You can't just leave your kids with someone you and they don't know.
If you have no family or friends that can help your husband should tell his employers that he must take those days off as they were prearranged before he accepted the job.

Bushkin · 09/11/2021 13:30

Sorry, didn’t think it was that obvious - ‘new job’ to me implied there had been an ‘old job’ so some childcare at some point. Nursery and holiday club is open until Christmas Eve here, as are most childminders.

Anyone visiting for Christmas who couple come early? Grandparents? I don’t think it’s fair to try to guilt your colleagues into changing their holiday plans

mrsm43s · 09/11/2021 13:40

You book them into paid for childcare, surely?

If their existing nursery/childminder isn't open, then use Sitters or a similar ad-hoc childcare agency.

I struggle to understand why anyone needs to ask this question!

megletthesecond · 09/11/2021 13:45

Most childcare shuts down near and over Xmas.

I have never, and would never leave my children with a babysitter stranger or student I didn't know.

Can you call in two different (sensible!) friends with kids the same age and ask if they can help? I did that one year.
Failing that it sounds like your DH's problem to solve.

LittleMysSister · 09/11/2021 13:47

Guessing neither can work from home just for these 2 days?

Does either have the kind of job where kids can go in with you on 24th? I know lots in London take their kids into offices on that day for fun.

I'd ask a local friend if possible, or even a mum from the 5yo's class if you know any. No ideal so close to Christmas but hopefully someone will help you out.

SW1amp · 09/11/2021 13:48

@Nonnymum

I agree with JetRocket. You can't just leave your kids with someone you and they don't know. If you have no family or friends that can help your husband should tell his employers that he must take those days off as they were prearranged before he accepted the job.
There are 6 weeks for the children and parents to meet a prospective childcare provider Confused
Whaleandsnail6 · 09/11/2021 13:50

I think your dh needs to say to his new job that he has pre-existing childcare needs these days so can't work them...he should have already told them really when he accepted the job.

It's not fair on you or your work to put this back on to you when it's already been arranged that you'll work those shifts on the basis he'll be around to look after the children.

sociallydistained · 09/11/2021 13:52

Put an ad on childcare.co.uk for a temp nanny/student (whatever you feel comfortable with but a qualified nanny will obviously have a higher rate) make their dad pay 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
Cherrytree1621 · 09/11/2021 13:54

My 10 month isn't in nursery yet and I'm very anxious about that so I'm not sure I could leave him with a stranger found off the Internet. I work in a nursery but I'm not putting my baby in there due to reasons which they are fully aware of. My 5 year old isn't good with strangers either.

OP posts:
TotallySuper · 09/11/2021 13:54

You must have
Friends
Family
Babysitters
Friends older children off for school holidays who want to make a few quid?
Childcare websites for professional childcare options
The option to bring the kids to work (for either of you if possible)
The option to work at home for those days?

TotallySuper · 09/11/2021 13:55

@Cherrytree1621

My 10 month isn't in nursery yet and I'm very anxious about that so I'm not sure I could leave him with a stranger found off the Internet. I work in a nursery but I'm not putting my baby in there due to reasons which they are fully aware of. My 5 year old isn't good with strangers either.
Why don't you want to put your baby in the nursery you work in? Confused that's worrying
CoffeeAndDryShampoo · 09/11/2021 13:59

Please don't ask your colleagues to swap/cover for you and make them feel guilty if they have to say no!

mrsm43s · 09/11/2021 14:00

@Cherrytree1621

My 10 month isn't in nursery yet and I'm very anxious about that so I'm not sure I could leave him with a stranger found off the Internet. I work in a nursery but I'm not putting my baby in there due to reasons which they are fully aware of. My 5 year old isn't good with strangers either.
Well, if you're not prepared to use childcare, you don't have any friends and family that could do it, and you can't take leave, then either you or your DH will need to quit your jobs!

What do you want us to say?

You can't force your employers to let you have the days off, so if you want to keep your jobs, your only option is finding and using childcare. You have 6 weeks to do that, plenty of time to sort something out.