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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Childcare issues at xmas

230 replies

Cherrytree1621 · 09/11/2021 11:36

Dh has had to take a new job due to personal issues meaning he will no longer be off 23rd and Xmas eve to look after our 5 year old and 10 month old. I've asked my work to have it off, they've said there's too many off already. So any advice on what to do?

OP posts:
Original poster
Cherrytree1621 · 09/11/2021 14:30

@XelaM

You actually work IN A NURSERY and can't bring your kids to work for two days?
Already explained why I won't do this.
OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 09/11/2021 14:30

Sounds like your not willing to consider any of the options people suggest, you don’t want to leave your children in childcare or with a stranger, you don’t want to leave them with anyone who has their own kids or a relative? So yours not making things easy for yourself. There is no magic answer.

RacketeerRalph · 09/11/2021 14:30

@herestoyoucolinrobinson

Why are you discounting anyone who already has kids? You seem to want Mary Poppins to turn up last minute.
Yes. Surely someone who has kids is ideal.
Freddiefox · 09/11/2021 14:31

Just take your children to work with you, lay for the day if they need you too, or make a donations to some toys to cover costs. But I can’t see the problem really.

LIZS · 09/11/2021 14:31

Or are you afraid to ask family and friends, even those with dc, because they will ask why you can't take them to work. Ate there any holiday clubs for your 5yo at least? Two days nursery with you around will not confuse a 10mo old.

anon12345678901 · 09/11/2021 14:32

So what exactly do you want when no ones suggestions are any good? If your work have said no then you and your DH need to think of a way together.

MRex · 09/11/2021 14:33

It looks like you don't want to find a solution OP. If you can't take the time off then you need to find childcare. You can pay for a nanny, ask a friend, ask family, pay for a babysitter (on our road the teens have parents who are available, plus a child minder, or we could ask nursery staff).

If someone else has children they're more likely to take yours to play with theirs. Putting the 10mo in the room with you is Betty sensible if it's just 2 days, then 2 play dates with school friends for the older one that you pay off in advance / after. I don't understand why you think that would be complicated?

Christmas1988 · 09/11/2021 14:33

Can a mum from your five year olds school not help? I had my sons friend and his little baby brother a couple of times during the summer and I didn’t mind at all, I had my own sons to look after and it’s easier with more children. I wasn’t particularly friendly with the Mum back then but we are friendly now I’d she hosted a Halloween party for my children as sort of ‘pay back’ I’d ask around.

Original poster
Cherrytree1621 · 09/11/2021 14:34

@XelaM

I also don't see what was so terrible about being in the same room as your child in nursery Confused I may be missing something
I wouldn't be able to get on with my job. He was a very attached child and he wouldn't let other staff do anything it would always be me so I couldn't get on with looking after the others. Wasn't fair on the staff or him. When I wasn't there he would be absolutely fine.
OP posts:
tallduckandhandsome · 09/11/2021 14:34

He probably thought that I will sort it.

Tell him ge needs to sort this.

Tiredalwaystired · 09/11/2021 14:35

@LittleMysSister

Guessing neither can work from home just for these 2 days?

Does either have the kind of job where kids can go in with you on 24th? I know lots in London take their kids into offices on that day for fun.

I'd ask a local friend if possible, or even a mum from the 5yo's class if you know any. No ideal so close to Christmas but hopefully someone will help you out.

Where I work staff are still being asked to WFH wherever possible to keep covid risk low. It wouldn’t go down well if people bought kids in when colleagues aren’t allowed to be there.

Saying that I guess if the OP could work from home there’s less of a problem anyway.

tallduckandhandsome · 09/11/2021 14:36

I wouldn't be able to get on with my job. He was a very attached child and he wouldn't let other staff do anything it would always be me so I couldn't get on with looking after the others. Wasn't fair on the staff or him. When I wasn't there he would be absolutely fine

I still think your H should sort but it does seem like you’re looking to say no to every suggestion.

What if you spoke to the owner (not the manager) and asked her to ensure you are allocated to a room that does not have your dc in it?

Original poster
Cherrytree1621 · 09/11/2021 14:37

Everyone asking why I'm not getting people with kids to look after them because they have 3/4 kids already that are either around my kids age or a little bit older. Having all those kids by yourself for one day is a bit much to ask. But that's just me.

OP posts:
XelaM · 09/11/2021 14:38

@Tiredalwaystired OP works in a nursery. The ideal "bring your children to work" place.

lovemelongtime · 09/11/2021 14:38

What exactly is it you need to do on those 2 dates? that makes a difference as to what measures you need to put in place

TotallySuper · 09/11/2021 14:40

@Cherrytree1621

Everyone asking why I'm not getting people with kids to look after them because they have 3/4 kids already that are either around my kids age or a little bit older. Having all those kids by yourself for one day is a bit much to ask. But that's just me.
So all your friends and family have 3/4 kids already Hmm

Tell us the truth are you just being difficult with these suggestions because you're annoyed your husband has somehow made this your problem to sort?

Stretchandsnap · 09/11/2021 14:41

So what do you want people to suggest OP? Can’t do it yourself, your DH can’t do it, you won’t ask friends, you can’t ask parents and you won’t use childcare that you don’t know? There are no other solutions

MRex · 09/11/2021 14:42

@Cherrytree1621

Everyone asking why I'm not getting people with kids to look after them because they have 3/4 kids already that are either around my kids age or a little bit older. Having all those kids by yourself for one day is a bit much to ask. But that's just me.
People with 3-4 kids around say 4-9yo can fit in one more 5yo fairly easily and call it a party. Then you take the baby. You don't need to decide for them, you need to ask them.
Cindercat · 09/11/2021 14:45

Sorry but you're being precious about it. You work in a nursery and it's for two days! You both work and there isn't some ideal solution, so you're going to have to choose one of the available solutions. Put your children into the nursery where you work for those two days is the obvious solution and your reasons for not doing aren't honestly very good. Alternatively, source a professional childminder or babysitter and begin using them on a weekly basis so your DC know them by the Christmas dates. Otherwise, it's unpaid leave for one of you.

TheOrigRights · 09/11/2021 14:46

It looks like you will have to take emergency carers leave.

MRex · 09/11/2021 14:47

@TheOrigRights

It looks like you will have to take emergency carers leave.
6 weeks notice opens hundreds of options, it isn't an emergency.
TrufflesAndToast · 09/11/2021 14:47

This is your husband’s problem to solve if he was the childcare over that period. He shouldn’t have accepted a new job without specifying that he was committed elsewhere and had to take holiday over that period. The fact that he took the job and is now assuming you will sort out your shared children…well let’s just say that doesn’t reflect well on him as a husband and father.

I agree a ten month old can’t be left with some random from a website, and other parents aren’t going to line up to care for someone else’s very young kids over the festive period. As far as I can see you either need to arrange to have them at work with you in your nursery or your husband needs to tell his work he has no childcare and cannot work. Same as lots of women are forced to do all the time.

TrufflesAndToast · 09/11/2021 14:49

And will your nursery not be half empty anyway at this time? Ours closes completely over Christmas and new year, I know some people still need to work but surely most nurseries have very few kids in over the holiday. Though I guess they reduce staff numbers accordingly. But still, it does seem like the best solution if your boss allows it and your husband is shirking his parental responsibilities.

jennywasafriendofmrbrightside · 09/11/2021 14:49

@TheOrigRights

It looks like you will have to take emergency carers leave.
Childcare issues with 6 weeks notice is not an emergency
Sally872 · 09/11/2021 14:50

It is a big ask to ask a friend with children and it isn't ideal to take then to your nursery given previous experience. But one of these does seem like the only options.