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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Childcare issues at xmas

230 replies

Cherrytree1621 · 09/11/2021 11:36

Dh has had to take a new job due to personal issues meaning he will no longer be off 23rd and Xmas eve to look after our 5 year old and 10 month old. I've asked my work to have it off, they've said there's too many off already. So any advice on what to do?

OP posts:
Offmyfence · 09/11/2021 14:01

@Cherrytree1621

My 10 month isn't in nursery yet and I'm very anxious about that so I'm not sure I could leave him with a stranger found off the Internet. I work in a nursery but I'm not putting my baby in there due to reasons which they are fully aware of. My 5 year old isn't good with strangers either.
Well then one of you will have to take time off, nothing else will work
Throwntothewolves · 09/11/2021 14:03

Ask friends to help out. You can help them out whenever they are stuck in return, perhaps over the Christmas and New Year period.
This is what we have to do as our normal childcare closes for two weeks (no idea why they close for the whole holiday period). My workplace is open 24/7, I can't possibly take all that time off as it would be unfair on others, neither can he.

A surprising amount of people are off for the full two weeks, I'm sure someone will be willing to host an extended play date to help you out

Landof · 09/11/2021 14:07

Options:

-DH asks his work

  • family member
  • friend
  • babysitter
  • nanny
  • childminder

You're saying you don't want to leave them with a stranger but I'm not sure what you want us to magic up if you won't put your child in the nursery you work at.

halloweenqwueeeen · 09/11/2021 14:07

OP only you know your circumstances, eg if you have family or local support. What miracle answer did you think the internet would have?

Original poster
Cherrytree1621 · 09/11/2021 14:08

@TotallySuper

All great suggestions, family all have their own kids etc, dad doesn't keep well and I keep my mum at a distance. Friends either working or again have children of their own.

I don't want to put my baby into the nursery I work in as the manager (owners daughter) made me feel like my oldest shouldn't have been at the nursery and continuously kept trying to put me in the same room as him (which isn't allowed) and when I brought it up to her the response I got was 'its your choice to have him here' so I eventually took him out. Unfortunately I can't afford to leave.

OP posts:
TotallySuper · 09/11/2021 14:10

Ok but this is all your choice. You do have options but are choosing not to use them. Not sure what else you want us to say.

Original poster
Cherrytree1621 · 09/11/2021 14:11

@Landof

Options:

-DH asks his work

  • family member
  • friend
  • babysitter
  • nanny
  • childminder

You're saying you don't want to leave them with a stranger but I'm not sure what you want us to magic up if you won't put your child in the nursery you work at.

He will be going to a nursery that will be closed (someone I used to work with now works there, who has kids of her own) and I don't want him to be confused about new faces. I have no idea how he's going to settle.
OP posts:
NatMoz · 09/11/2021 14:14

You are making your life difficult due to the restrictions you are placing on yourself.

There doesn't seem to be any solution other than you or husband taking the days off as unpaid leave

TotallySuper · 09/11/2021 14:14

One of you is just going to have to be that person that calls in sick.

What about working from home?

pinkflask · 09/11/2021 14:17

Can they book into your nursery for the day as "holiday club" kids?

LittleMysSister · 09/11/2021 14:19

@Cherrytree1621

My 10 month isn't in nursery yet and I'm very anxious about that so I'm not sure I could leave him with a stranger found off the Internet. I work in a nursery but I'm not putting my baby in there due to reasons which they are fully aware of. My 5 year old isn't good with strangers either.
Don't you have any friends / school mums locally who might be able to help, even for the 23rd?

If you genuinely don't have any options then I guess all you can do is go back to your work and explain the situation (saying you as I'm guessing your husband is still on probation so less risky for you). They then have 6 weeks to sort out cover if necessary.

AudacityBaby · 09/11/2021 14:20

I'm now revoking the suggestion that you ask (and compense) your or your DH's co-workers to swap shifts. I get the distinct impression it'd end up with a guilt trip as you have no other solutions. Happens to me every year and it does my head in.

Original poster
Cherrytree1621 · 09/11/2021 14:20

@TotallySuper

One of you is just going to have to be that person that calls in sick.

What about working from home?

Unfortunately neither can work from home. Dh drives a van. And I a nursery.
OP posts:
TotallySuper · 09/11/2021 14:21

🤷‍♀️

Original poster
Cherrytree1621 · 09/11/2021 14:21

@AudacityBaby

I'm now revoking the suggestion that you ask (and compense) your or your DH's co-workers to swap shifts. I get the distinct impression it'd end up with a guilt trip as you have no other solutions. Happens to me every year and it does my head in.
Oh no I'm not asking them. Its not fair. It was all sorted before dh changed jobs (which tbh I'm not happy with but needs must)
OP posts:
TotallySuper · 09/11/2021 14:23

Usually when you start a new job you carry over any pre booked holiday. Why did he not think of this when switching jobs? Really it's his issue to sort, he's going to have to go unpaid, call in sick or take the kids in the van.

XelaM · 09/11/2021 14:24

You actually work IN A NURSERY and can't bring your kids to work for two days?

LittleMysSister · 09/11/2021 14:24

OP you have no options then, one of you is just going to have to take unpaid leave for those 2 days.

Depending on what your DH is driving his van for he might have more luck getting it off if he explains the situation.

I wouldn't call in sick since you've already requested it off.

XelaM · 09/11/2021 14:25

I also don't see what was so terrible about being in the same room as your child in nursery Confused I may be missing something

herestoyoucolinrobinson · 09/11/2021 14:26

Why are you discounting anyone who already has kids? You seem to want Mary Poppins to turn up last minute.

ilovesooty · 09/11/2021 14:28

@TotallySuper

One of you is just going to have to be that person that calls in sick.

What about working from home?

Call in sick when they aren't? When the OP has asked and been refused and her husband is new to the job?
Original poster
Cherrytree1621 · 09/11/2021 14:28

@TotallySuper

Usually when you start a new job you carry over any pre booked holiday. Why did he not think of this when switching jobs? Really it's his issue to sort, he's going to have to go unpaid, call in sick or take the kids in the van.
He probably thought that I will sort it.
OP posts:
impossible · 09/11/2021 14:29

Could you pay the nursery worker who has kids of her own to look after yours those days?

Even if it's not easy for your dcs to settle, they will be fine so long as they are with a safe, kind person. If they can't be with you or dh they will have to be with someone else so make sure they are going to be somewhere safe. They will be fine and may even surprise you.

Wondergirl100 · 09/11/2021 14:29

I would take the opportunity to find a nice local babysitter that you trust - use them a couple of times for short periods in the run up - then after that you have someone you trust

TatianaBis · 09/11/2021 14:30

So you've 6 weeks to find a registered childminder, or you take both your kids to nursery with you - I'd have thought the latter would be ideal. If the owner's DD is arsey - it's only for 2 days.

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