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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Childcare issues at xmas

230 replies

Cherrytree1621 · 09/11/2021 11:36

Dh has had to take a new job due to personal issues meaning he will no longer be off 23rd and Xmas eve to look after our 5 year old and 10 month old. I've asked my work to have it off, they've said there's too many off already. So any advice on what to do?

OP posts:
RedskyThisNight · 09/11/2021 14:51

I (sort of) understand your reasons for not wanting your child in your nursery.
But having them there for 2 days when the nursery will likely be fairly empty? (not to mention that Christmas Eve is a Friday which is normally a quiet day anyway). I think you're making your life unnecessarily difficult.

callmeadoctor · 09/11/2021 14:51

Your DH has plenty of time to sort this........... he tells his new job that he needs to be off those days to look after HIS children.

LampHat · 09/11/2021 14:52

So really you’ve started this thread because you’re pissed off with your DH, and the only solution in your mind is that he has them.

Mary bloody Poppins could join the thread and offer her services for the day and you’d still find a reason that wasn’t good enough. Just get offline and argue it out with your DH. MN clearly has nothing to offer you.

Crunchymum · 09/11/2021 14:53

The nursery you work at is open Xmas eve? Is that the norm?

TheOrigRights · 09/11/2021 14:53

6 weeks notice opens hundreds of options, it isn't an emergency.

That's true and indeed I scorn on people abusing such safety nets so I retract my suggestion.

Blondeshavemorefun · 09/11/2021 14:54

So many of these at the moment

You pay for childcare. Yes likely to be more than you earn

You have 6w for your children to meet them a few times

A nanny is the more costly option but means kids in own home

Or a cm tho may be full

Surely a school mum could have her if you are really stuck - have you asked

We have a wats app group and people ask for favours etc

Could the lady he knows at the nursery he will be going to have youngest

Original poster
Cherrytree1621 · 09/11/2021 14:55

So all your friends and family have 3/4 kids already

Tell us the truth are you just being difficult with these suggestions because you're annoyed your husband has somehow made this your problem to sort?

Yes they do I have 1 brother and he has 5month old twins and a 4 year old. My 2 friends have kids ranging between about to be born and 7. Unfortunately dh's family lives 300 miles away.
Of course im annoyed he's dumped this on me. I didn't want him to change jobs in the first place.

OP posts:
AudacityBaby · 09/11/2021 14:55

10m old goes to nursery with you and 5 year old goes in van for the day with dad?

callmeadoctor · 09/11/2021 14:56

If your nursery starts to have less children in xmas week, why not ask one of the other staff (who may be off) to babysit at your house?

icedcoffees · 09/11/2021 14:59

What do you want people to suggest when everything that's been suggested won't work for you for some reason or another?

arethereanyleftatall · 09/11/2021 15:00

Right. So you dont want to do any of the options that millions of parents choose every single day.

dcadmam · 09/11/2021 15:01

To be honest I don’t think you can be too choosy

Rage the 10 month old to work with you - it’s just for 2 days
See if your 5 year old can go to a school friends house and you reciprocate later in holiday. If not you’ll have to book him into nursery with you and grin and bear it.

Good luck xx

Nanny0gg · 09/11/2021 15:03

[quote XelaM]@Tiredalwaystired OP works in a nursery. The ideal "bring your children to work" place.[/quote]
Not always.

Do you want the staff looking after your children or their own?

Nanny0gg · 09/11/2021 15:03

@AudacityBaby

10m old goes to nursery with you and 5 year old goes in van for the day with dad?
Insurance...
Freddiefox · 09/11/2021 15:04

@Cherrytree1621

So all your friends and family have 3/4 kids already

Tell us the truth are you just being difficult with these suggestions because you're annoyed your husband has somehow made this your problem to sort?

Yes they do I have 1 brother and he has 5month old twins and a 4 year old. My 2 friends have kids ranging between about to be born and 7. Unfortunately dh's family lives 300 miles away.
Of course im annoyed he's dumped this on me. I didn't want him to change jobs in the first place.

Have you asked your in laws? They might like to help.
Rosebel · 09/11/2021 15:05

Just get your husband to say he has those days as pre booked holidays and he forgot to mention it at his interview.
Or you take parental leave.

ImUninsultable · 09/11/2021 15:05

What exactly is it you want people to say?

These are your options:
Ask family
Ask a friend
Hire a babysitter (plenty of god websites to find reputable people with background checks)
Husband tells his work it is pre-cooked and he cannot work it.

You've said no to all of them.

What is it you want?

For God's sake, just hire a babysitter or ask a friend or family member. Literally nothing else you can do. Stop saying "no because".

CompetitiveMumming · 09/11/2021 15:07

I think it's post pandemic. People who've had kids in the last 2 years can't imagine them being in any childcare setting like the ones we have all had to use for years. It's bonkers.

ohdeariforgot · 09/11/2021 15:08

Surely your boss and colleagues would rather you brought your kids to nursery on those 2 days than ask them to swap or take parental leave.

May not be ideal but if you don't want to buy in alternative care it will have to do

mumwon · 09/11/2021 15:08

Hmm can't work in the same room as your own dc
How do you think cm manage? (doesn't get it especially as some teachers have to do same thing) obviously you have to make sure you are careful about your treatment of your child & other children
If you cannot do anything else you might have to go back to this

Whereis · 09/11/2021 15:10

What are you hoping people will magic up if you’re being incredibly difficult about any option presented to you?

What damage or change in routine do you think your child is going to have by spending TWO days in your nursery with you?

Offmyfence · 09/11/2021 15:11

There is no other option, we've tried every avenue, every conceivable person has been considered, nursery a no go, swapping shifts a no go, everything a no go .....

You will just have to sell the children prior to Christmas....

nanbread · 09/11/2021 15:13

@Cherrytree1621

Dh has had to take a new job due to personal issues meaning he will no longer be off 23rd and Xmas eve to look after our 5 year old and 10 month old. I've asked my work to have it off, they've said there's too many off already. So any advice on what to do?
Yes.

Tell your DH to sort it.

They were his days to cover and presumably be knew that?

Why can't he ask for them off?

PicturesOfLily · 09/11/2021 15:17

I second asking the in laws. Are you seeing them over Christmas anyway? Mine live 2 hours away but when I was stuck last year as dh was away training for a new job and my parents were on holiday when I had a parents evening to do (teacher), they were happy to come up and look after dd for a couple of hours between nursery and when I got home. Otherwise, it might have to be your nursery as a one off. I’d much rather have them nearby and with staff you know if possible.

Original poster
Cherrytree1621 · 09/11/2021 15:18

@Crunchymum

The nursery you work at is open Xmas eve? Is that the norm?
Unfortunately yes. I usually take it off
OP posts: