To expect my DH to get out of our bed?

[PurpleDaisy2114]

DD is 10,with additional needs. She has been in a lot of pain yesterday and today with muscle strain in her back.
She wanted to sleep in our bed tonight.DH was adamant in saying no- said it's the only thing he insists on,it's our space.
DDhas slept on the sofa, lying next to me most of evening.To me,she's poorly and wants her Mum.
I just think he is being selfish. I've come into her room and am in her bed instead.

Sorry OP, I agree YABU not to take her into her own bed and sleep there with her if you wanted.

If she was already asleep on the sofa, it stands to reason she was ready to sleep when she followed you up to bed, so you shouldn't have let her get in yours. It's not like she was awake and just wanted a cuddle before heading back to her own room, she was likely half asleep before she even got in with you.

I think it's fair enough to have a 'no kids sleeping in our bed' rule, especially as your daughter has a big enough bed for you to join her there if necessary.

@RedskyThisNight

Do people really still sleep with 10 year olds just because they are poorly and want their mum? DD was going through puberty at that age!

Agree with DH - she has her own bed she should sleep in.

If my teen daughter broke up with a bf and wanted me in with her then of course I would. Hell if my ADULT child wanted me in bed with them because they were emotionally not coping I would. Wtf is wrong with people.

If my teen daughter broke up with a bf and wanted me in with her then of course I would. Hell if my ADULT child wanted me in bed with them because they were emotionally not coping I would. Wtf is wrong with people.

I don't think that not wanting to share a bed with someone else makes you "wrong". People are entitled to their own beliefs around body autonomy and should not be ridiculed about them. But clearly some families have different boundaries to others. A bit like some families are entirely fine with nudity and others are more private from an earlier age. I admit that this thread has surprised me that sleeping with 10 year olds is apparently so common place. Even the families I know who co-slept entirely with their children, from birth had stopped by about age 7/8.

I think I have been wrong in quoting a queen-it is smaller than a double

She has a queen size, YABU - you move in with her instead, she's 10 not 2.

But it’s bigger than a single and it’s her own bed so you getting in with her still makes more sense.

Also if you have a small house - any disabilities aside - DC gets a bigger bed which can be used for the few occasions when you have visitors and they ( DC) can sleep else where for a night or two - just practical
When I was young my brother ( younger than me got the 2nd biggest bedroom - I was in a tiny room ) , but when Granny and Grandpa came to stay he had to sleep on a camp bed or similar for a night or two. Although my room was smaller I liked not having to move.

Do people really still sleep with 10 year olds just because they are poorly and want their mum? DD was going through puberty at that age

If my DD gets to the point of asking me to stay with her then of course I will do so, its not like I'm just deciding "DD is unwell, I'm going to sleep in her bed with her". It is entirely her choice and so I don't understand the comments about puberty etc - if she was uncomfortable with me being in her bed then she wouldn't have asked in the first place. Even if I just stay long enough to get her settled and asleep and then decamp back to my own bed, if she asks me to stay then I will, because she has asked and it is not unreasonable to acquiesce.

It's not like I'm getting into bed with her every night or even ever week, it's maybe a couple of times a year (if that) when she is really ill, or if something has really upset her and she doesn't want to be alone (eg a few years ago when her paternal grandfather died whom she was very close to, it really upset her as this was the first real death she had faced and I slept with her in her room for a few nights because she needed the comfort as her emotions were all over the place).

I wouldn't be evicted from my bed. However I would invest in an electric blanket to sort out the muscle pain for your daughter.

YANBU

@PurpleDaisy2114

I think I have been wrong in quoting a queen-it is smaller than a double

Nah, you don't get to change the story to change the comments.

YABU

For the poster talking about her 9 year old son having wet dreams, I must say that I am rather surprised that you know. I have adult male children, and once they were past the age of soiling the bed when toilet training, I stopped checking their bedding. I would just go in, whip their sheets off and.put them in the washing machine. I have no idea if any of them ever had wet dreams, they probably did, but when it came to ironing the sheets I never noticed any stains; I don't even remember thinking about it. Nine years old does sound very young to me for a boy to start going through puberty though, I think mine were about 12 or 13. Girls can start earlier, but as I said, I am surprised at 9 for a boy.

Lol, just get in her bed and stop giving your husband a hard time.

Nah, you don't get to change the story to change the comments. YABU

@DecadentlyDecisive She isn't- often what firms mean by a Queen is a small double. www.dreams.co.uk/beds/small-double

Nine years old does sound very young to me for a boy to start going through puberty though, I think mine were about 12 or 13. Girls can start earlier, but as I said, I am surprised at 9 for a boy.

@HeartvsBrain It's not unheard of nowadays. But if I had children it wouldn't mean I stopped them cuddling in with me occasionally if that's what they wanted and needed.