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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect my DH to get out of our bed?

215 replies

PurpleDaisy2114 · 08/11/2021 22:27

DD is 10,with additional needs. She has been in a lot of pain yesterday and today with muscle strain in her back.
She wanted to sleep in our bed tonight.DH was adamant in saying no- said it's the only thing he insists on,it's our space.
DDhas slept on the sofa, lying next to me most of evening.To me,she's poorly and wants her Mum.
I just think he is being selfish. I've come into her room and am in her bed instead.

OP posts:
Shitfuckcommaetc · 08/11/2021 22:42

Erm... She has a queen bed. So why on earth does she need to share yours! Surely it's easier for you to get in with her?!

MichelleScarn · 08/11/2021 22:42

If she has a queen size bed why do you all need to move? Is it more about making him move because you want it?

Original poster
PurpleDaisy2114 · 08/11/2021 22:43

She was asleep on sofa when we came up to bed. Then as I was getting into bed, she got into our bed and said I want to sleep with you Mum and seemed to get sleepy quite quickly. I just felt that making her move was unreasonable.

OP posts:
MrsGeralt · 08/11/2021 22:43

She's got a queen sized bed, so yeah... She's fine in her own bed.

Lindy2 · 08/11/2021 22:43

If my 10 year old is poorly she sleeps in our king size bed with me and DH goes into the spare room which has a double bed.

We did the same for our elder daughter but as she's a teen now I think she'd have to be really ill to want to be with me rather than in her own room.

It's just part of how we've looked after them when they've not been well. My mum did the same for me and I remember the comfort it gave being close to her at night.

WhatAShilohPitt · 08/11/2021 22:44

I’m on his side.

Original poster
PurpleDaisy2114 · 08/11/2021 22:45

DH came up to bed last so DD and I were already in it. He was clear he wouldn't move so I did. DD followed me down hence we are both now in her bed.

OP posts:
AutumnLeaves21 · 08/11/2021 22:48

@PurpleDaisy2114

She was asleep on sofa when we came up to bed. Then as I was getting into bed, she got into our bed and said I want to sleep with you Mum and seemed to get sleepy quite quickly. I just felt that making her move was unreasonable.
No, letting her in your bed in the first place knowing your husband would soon be up is where you were unreasonable.
FrownedUpon · 08/11/2021 22:49

YABU. You don’t need to turf your DH out of his bed. You should sleep with her in her own bed.

Wiglio · 08/11/2021 22:51

YABU

IreneIddesleigh · 08/11/2021 22:53

YABU. You shouldn't have allowed her to get into your bed to begin with, as you knew he wouldn't want to sleep elsewhere. It would've been better to just get up yourself and go straight to her bed. Instead, you made him the bad guy.

Iwouldlikeacat · 08/11/2021 22:54

YABU. You shouldn't have put her in your bed to start with.

FiddlefigOnTheRoof · 08/11/2021 22:55

Yabu

Spottybotty20 · 08/11/2021 22:56

Seems mean, my husband loves having the spare bed to himself if the kids need a cuddle. I figure the parent whose sleep might be interrupted by a child should get to be in their own bed and the uninterrupted parent in the spare bed (but all our beds are comfy)

Nanny0gg · 08/11/2021 22:57

@TotallySuper

YABU sorry I agree with him. Nothing wrong with going into her bed with her though.
So, two in a single bed, and he gets the double on his own?

Would it have hurt for him to move while she's poorly?

Nanny0gg · 08/11/2021 22:59

@PurpleDaisy2114

She has a queen bed so it's not too squashy
In that case, what's the problem?

Fair enough you move.

You should have mentioned that in the first place

AntiHop · 08/11/2021 22:59

Yanbu. Right now dh is in dd's bed and dd is in mine!

Iwouldlikeacat · 08/11/2021 23:01

and he gets the double on his own

He gets his own bed, yes. Seems pretty damn reasonable.

Mattresses vary greatly. I would not be happy to be sent away from my expensive mattress that has great support to a children's bed. I would wake up feeling like I had been run over by a bus.

Anoisagusaris · 08/11/2021 23:04

Yanbu at all

MrsSkylerWhite · 08/11/2021 23:06

I would go into her bed but specifically because we have a bespoke mattress for his back condition.

If he’s healthy, I think he’s not being very kind.

JamieFrasersBitOnTheSide · 08/11/2021 23:08

@PurpleDaisy2114

She has a queen bed so it's not too squashy
YABU. She doesn’t need to be in your bed.
Itsnotallaboutyoubaby · 08/11/2021 23:12

YANBU. When one of our children is unwell one of us will often sleep with them in our bed. The other person sleeps on the sofa. They have small beds so we couldn’t use theirs. I don’t think it would’ve hurt your husband to sleep in her bed personally.

Terminallysleepdeprived · 08/11/2021 23:14

Dd has health issues so quite often cones into my bed (single mum) but if my bf is here and she needs me he will happily sleep in the spare room. So I was going to say your dh was being a knob. That is until you said she has a queen size bed.

For me that changes it, you should have told her no and that you would get in with her in her bed.

CrushedPistachios · 08/11/2021 23:14

Queen size bed as in larger than a double? Yeah, I don’t know why you didn’t think staying in her bed was the logical option

timeisnotaline · 08/11/2021 23:16

She has a queen bed, so I don’t see the issue really.

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