AIBU to delay 7yr old DD getting ears pierced until she’s 12

[Whosthebestbabainalltheworld]

DD (7) went to a birthday party today where one of the girls got her ears pierced as a birthday present. Cue the inevitable.

I’ve said not until she’s 12. Am I just totally not with it? I don’t have any massive objections, but I was about that age myself and being totally honest, I think they look a bit cheap on small girls - and for saying that out loud I’m sure I will burn in mumsnet hell.

Define "cheap" please...

I agree with you OP.

YANBU honestly I think you're being very sensible, if she still wants her ears pierced in that time then it's clearly a long term thing.

My mum always said I had to wait until I was 16, then I had them done when I was 18.
I have friends who had theirs pierced as kids and they say they wish they hadn't!

I think they need to be old enough to manage them. I had 12 in my head but we gave in at ten. She was borderline in terms of managing them, kept losing butterflies, got stressed when one was not healing etc.

Any younger would have been harder.

They need to be old enough to manage them.

I told mine they had to be 16 or at least earning enough to pay for it themselves

Why 12 out of interest? That seems very old to me, most young girls I know are capable of looking after ear piercings around age 10. I had 3 sets of earrings and my belly button pierced by age 14.

Mine is 8
I've always said she's not getting them pierced till at least after she's finished primary school. When that's happened we'll see if she wants them and consider but not before

That's when I was allowed to get mine done! I think it's fine. DD won't be allowed until a similar age too.

Yanbu you’re the parent.
Our rules are - when you’re old enough to deal with it yourself and not before age 8. Every child I know who had theirs done with a gun at Claire’s has had an infection so I’d take DD to a person who uses the needle.

‘Tacky’

I agree, it looks really awful on tiny kids - I know it’s often a cultural thing, but I can’t get over it being done without proper consent from the child. Did you see that hideous video that was circulating a few weeks ago?

I got mine done around 11/12 and wouldn’t let my kid do it any earlier - and I’d encourage them to wait longer. Once they’re old / mature enough to understand what they’re consenting to, I’m very open to piercings and tattoos. Their body, their choice.

But at 7 it’s just peer pressure and nonsense gender stereotypes.

I agree with you. Have said to my DD she can have hers done in the summer hols between primary and secondary if she wants.

I always told my daughter she could have them done when she was 7. That’s the age I had mine done and I just always had that in my head. She had them done in the summer holidays just after turning 7 and to be honest has been absolutely brilliant with them. A few of her friends have also had them done over the last few months.

@Unicornsdosparkle

Define "cheap" please...

Not expensive??

Did you mean to be dense? It's bloody obvious what the op means

I would say 14 - 15!!

Yes, I'd say definitely wait. They generally do look awful on young girls and it's better for her to be able to care for them herself when she's old enough.

Why on earth do children want to have needles stuck through their ear lobes? Never. never. ever.

I said 11 to the eldest, just before high school. She badgered me but I’m glad we held fire, as she is that bit more grown up.

Or you could argue referring to a 7 year old as cheap looking is very unreasonable (I think I'd judge you on this!) A 7 year old can ask and it can depend on you. You have chosen not to allow it. My 7 year old asked me and I said yes. She's now 12 and has a second piercing. It's been a pretty uneventful experience.

I used to do piercing. I've said my daughter has to be out of primary school and she has to ask for it.

There's no way I'd do it any earlier than that.

It'll be 16 when my kids are old enough to ask for this.

Generally speaking children under 16 don't have medical consent. So given it's me that would be consenting to a surgeon putting a hole in them, it'll be me consenting to anyone else doing it, and I won't be agreeing to any holes that aren't medically necessary.

My DD had been asking for the last 2 years but I said she was too young. She has them done this summer (so when she was nearly 10) and not at Claire’s Accessories.

She has cleaned and looked after them well herself but still needed a bit of help

Wait.

I told my dd she could have them at 10, she’s almost 10 and has completely changed her mind.

I agree they look cheap on young girls, I think people who pierce babies ears particularly should be charged with assault. There is no reason why a child’s ears to be pierced other than vanity.

Did you see the video off the little girl in Sheffield a couple of weeks ago? It was heartbreaking.

I agree, it looks cheap and tacky on small children. The child themselves is not cheap and tacky but the earrings on them look cheap and tacky.

DD hasn't asked, lots of her friends have them done and have had no problems as far as I am aware with them.

DD does too much sport, even in the holidays, for it really to be a realistic proposition until she is much older thankfully.

Not expensive??

Did you mean to be dense? It's bloody obvious what the op means

I'm sure we all actually know what the OP means, but it's not a nice way to refer to a 7 year old.

And it doesn't mean "not expensive".